36. Hope
36
HOPE
P arker woke before me on Sunday morning, rustling around on the other half of the bed.
With a tired grunt, I burrowed deeper into my blankets in an attempt to recapture my dreams.
“Good morning,” he greeted sweetly, touching my shoulder and pressing a kiss to my hair before smoothing down the unruly locks and then testing my brow for a temperature. “I didn’t wake you, did I?”
I huffed out another disgruntled sound that caused him to chuckle.
“I’ll take that as a yes.” He kissed my hair again and then patted my butt gently as he sat up. “Go back to bed, Trouble. I’m gonna take a shower.”
“Mmph,” I answered to let him know I’d heard him, and I sighed wistfully into my pillow as he crawled off the bed and crossed the room, shutting the bathroom door behind him.
From there, I drifted, soaking up REMs like a dehydrated plant that sucked all the water from its soil. I’d just been so exhausted lately. I needed this.
But I’d barely gone unconscious again when a notification from a nearby phone chimed. And then chimed again. And again.
Groaning, I swatted out my hand to make it stop.
Once I grabbed the phone and pulled it to me, I squinted in confusion at the screen because it looked all wrong until I realized I’d grabbed Parker’s phone.
The message was from Red .
Hayes found your parents.
I met them just now.
They want to see you. Call me.
I gasped and sat upright in bed, fully awake now. “Parker,” I called.
But he couldn’t hear me with the door shut and water running in the shower. I was about to crawl out of bed and take the phone to him because this was big. It was huge. He was going to get to see his mom and dad again. I couldn’t even imagine how much this was going to affect him after eleven years of trying to contact them.
Except then I stopped myself. He could wait another few minutes until he was out of the shower and dressed.
Returning my gaze to the screen so I could rescan Raina’s messages and make sure I’d read everything correctly, I exhaled a heavy breath and then squealed out a sound of excitement.
When my thumb swiped across those life-altering words, I focused on the name he’d given Foster’s girlfriend. Red.
Which made me wonder what he’d saved me as in his phone.
Curious, I punched in his passcode, having watched him over his shoulder enough times in the last few days to remember it. Once in, I went straight to his contact list and scrolled to the Hs. But I wasn’t saved under Hope . So I swiped down to the Ls for my last name. But I wasn’t under Langston either.
Frowning, I bit my lip and tried to think up what he would call me. Maybe Alec’s Sister . Or ooh, Trouble . Yep, I bet I was under Trouble . So I scrolled some more until I came to the Ns, where Nova’s name caused me to pause.
I’d also kept her number in my phone after she’d left town. I’d even tried to call it a few times because she hadn’t just abandoned Thane when she’d moved away. She’d abandoned all of us. But her number had been disconnected when I rang it.
I wouldn’t have thought Parker would want to keep her digits, though. The girl had broken his best friend. I mean, Thane had been crushed. He’d been inconsolable after she disappeared. And Parker was not the forgiving type.
This did not add up.
Curious, I went into their texting history, and my mouth dropped.
“Holy shit.”
He’d been in contact with her as recently as nine months ago; it’d been five years since Nova had left Westport and completely fallen off the grid.
Not understanding, I thumbed through their correspondences, glancing over their messages quickly.
It seemed that Parker was always the one to reach out first to ask if she was doing okay. She would respond with a quick two or three words, always letting him know she was fine. And he’d leave her alone for another handful of months.
Eleven months ago—about the same time that Alec had told me Foster heard Nova was engaged—Parker had texted her saying:
Just checking in.
All she’d written in reply was:
Still okay.
Then two months later, roughly when Thane had met Christine, Parker had told Nova:
He went on a date.
It had taken her a few days to respond, but when she did, she said:
Good. That’s good.
And the last thing written between them had been Parker’s reply.
If you say so.
My lips parted, trying to make sense of this. But Parker knew how to get in contact with Nova. And it sounded as if he’d been trying to get her to come back and reclaim her man when Thane had started to move on with someone new.
Shaking my head and not able to make sense of any of it, I went into her contact information and found that he had a new number for her, different from the one I had. Mine was still a 361 area code and she was now under a 512. That was around the Austin area, and we all thought Nova had gone to College Station so she could attend Texas A I’ll be there for him through this. He won’t go through it alone.”
I nodded my gratitude but kept talking. “I mean, you’re his favorite person on the planet. He’d never willingly lie to you either. I don’t think he’d even want to keep a secret from you. He would just… have to. He even tried to tell you about me when he knew he shouldn’t. It’s just like with me and Alec; I’m only lying to my brother right now because I love him so much and want to protect him.”
“Hope?” Thane tilted his head with a confused frown. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“You just said; you’re a big proponent of the truth, right?” I reminded him. “Well, I learned something this morning. Something Parker hasn’t told you—or maybe can’t tell you—because he’s either protecting you or maybe he’s legally bound to silence, I’m not sure. But he loves you. You’re his person. I really don’t think he would want to keep it from you unless he absolutely had to. Meaning, I want to tell you since I know he can’t and so you won’t hate him. Is that okay?”
Mouth gaping, Thane shook his head slowly. “You’re not making any sense. Parker isn’t keeping anything from me.” But then he squinted, looking less sure of himself as he added, “I would know.”
“Maybe,” I allowed with a shrug. “Maybe I’m wrong about all of this. It is just a guess. But I don’t think I’m wrong.” Gaze sliding to him regretfully, I winced. “I think I’m right. And if I am, then I would want to know if I were you, so I’m going to tell you.”
“Okay,” he said slowly. “I…kind of followed that. What do you think you know?”
I smiled sadly. “But first, I owe you a huge apology. I haven’t seen you since I got to town. So if you’ve been staying away from the guys just to avoid me, then I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you away.”
Surprise filled his eyes, and he pulled back, shaking his head in immediate rejection. “What? No…no. I’ve just been busy. I’ve?—”
“Been with your new girlfriend?” I asked, watching him closely. “With Christine?”
When he flinched slightly at her name, I let my shoulders sag sadly. “Alec told me he hasn’t gotten to meet her yet. None of them have. They think it’s because she doesn’t want to meet them.”
“What?” he blurted, his eyes widening with dread. “No. That’s not it at all.”
“That’s what I thought,” I murmured before heaving out a breath and asking, “It’s because of me, isn’t it? That’s why you’ve been too afraid to introduce her to the guys?”
Thane merely blinked at me before wrinkling his nose and blurting, “Jesus, Hope. Why in the world would you have anything to do with it?”
“Because of what I said to you after Nova left,” I answered. “I made some stupid crack about how she probably left because you chose the guys over her. Because you chose to stay in Westport with them instead of following her to Texas A she left all of us. Which didn’t make any sense at all. So I don’t think she wanted to go at all.”
“Then why did she?” he countered, his chin starting to quiver because I’d clearly hit a nerve. “Why did she leave? Can you tell me that ?”
“Because she had to.”
He huffed out a hard, bitter laugh, and his knee started to bounce under the table. “But why would she have to?”
I studied him for a moment before admitting, “I recently learned how to keep secrets from the people I care about the most because the truth could hurt them. And I think Nova loved you enough that she would one hundred percent keep something from you in order to protect you.”
Tears sparkled in his eyes before he rasped, “Protect me from what ? Just say it already.”
“That’s what I’m not a hundred percent sure of,” I admitted with a wince. “But I know some of your friends aren’t reacting the way they should about her. Anger is Parker’s default emotion, and he doesn’t get angry when her name is mentioned.”
Lips parting, Thane pulled back because he knew I was right.
“He looks sad ,” I went on. “Sad isn’t even in his wheelhouse, Doc. When something saddens him, he gets pissed. Hell, good things make him mad. And this girl left his best friend. His person . She broke your fucking heart. Jesus, some guy accidentally knocked me down at the airport when I got to town, and I looked him up a few days later only to learn that Ohrley Enterprise had bought out the company he worked for and he was no longer on their payroll. And I’m not even Parker’s favorite person. So if someone hurt you , he would hunt them down and destroy them piece by piece.” Lifting my hands, I asked, “Why did he never do that to Nova?”
Thane blinked a few times as he absorbed my words before he shook his head. “B-because she disappeared. I couldn’t even find her after she left. She?—”
“You don’t have the money and means he does,” I countered. “Parker would’ve found her. He wouldn’t have stopped looking until he found her.”
Thane sucked in a sharp breath, his eyes full of shock. “You think Parker knows where Nova is?” But as soon as he spoke the question aloud, he began to shake his head, denying it. “No. No. He would’ve told me.”
“Not if he was protecting you too,” I said softly. “He loves you just as much as Nova did. If he thought something could hurt you, he’d do what he could to protect you.”
“Protect me from what ?” he repeated savagely. “What could’ve possibly hurt me more than losing her?” When I hesitated, he growled, “Dammit, Hope. You brought me this far, don’t fucking hold back now.”
I winced. “It’s only a guess, though.”
“I don’t fucking care.” The tears in his eyes started to spill down his cheeks. “What do you think you know?”
I exhaled roughly. “It’s just that she volunteered at the grief center a lot while Gerald Sprout was the director there.”
Thane sucked in a breath, and his lips parted. I watched the dazed shock cross his face as he digested the idea, and I knew he’d never considered the possibility before.
“No,” he rasped before managing to shake his head and clear such an ugly idea from it. “There’s no way. She would’ve told me if she—if he had—fuck. She would’ve told me.”
I only sent him a small wince before whispering, “I wouldn’t have.”
His gaze flashed to me, and panic filled his face.
“If I’d gotten raped by someone as powerful as him, and some boy had loved me as much as you loved her, there’s no way in hell I would’ve risked your life like that. Because you would’ve gone after him, and he would’ve crushed you like a bug. You either would’ve killed him and landed yourself in jail; or you would’ve tried to call him out for his crimes the honest, legal way, and he would’ve lied and schemed and ruined your entire future to keep his secret.”
Thane sobbed out a sound of pain and clutched his chest. “It’s not true. It can’t be true. She couldn’t—she was so pure and beautiful and perfect. Why would anyone do that to her?”
“Because monsters are attracted to beauty and sweetness, just like everyone else.”
“Oh God,” he choked out, bowing his head and shaking it. “It can’t be true. It better not be fucking true.”
“I hope it’s not,” I agreed sadly, extending my hand to give him one of my napkins.
He took it and wiped his face, then blew his nose before lifting bloodshot eyes to me. “If it is true, then why hasn’t Nova come back and told me?” he demanded harshly. “Sprout can’t hurt me now. He’s behind bars.”
“Oh, well that’s easy,” I said. “Because she would feel dirty and ruined. She wouldn’t want all that darkness to ever touch you. If she loved you, she’d want only the best for you, and she’d no longer feel worthy. If I were her, I’d probably never tell you either.”
Thane exhaled and fell back into his seat. “Well,” he murmured, visibly shaken as he heaved in a big breath. “This is certainly…” He shook his head, unable to say anymore.
“Yeah,” I murmured before taking a drink of my smoothie only to find it empty. My phone vibrated, and I checked the screen to see Parker trying to reach me, asking if everything was okay.
I lifted my face and winced at his best friend who looked absolutely wrecked. “Should I not have told you my theory?”
He looked up and studied me a moment before wincing through a hard swallow. “I don’t know. Probably not. But I’m glad you did.” Even though he looked utterly devastated.
Reassured that he felt that way. I licked my dry lips. “And you won’t tell Parker about my suspicions?”
With a self-deprecating laugh, he wiped a hand over his face and shook his head. “Since I have no idea if it’s even true, yeah, I’ll keep quiet about your hopefully wrong hypothesis.”
I exhaled gratefully, just as my phone buzzed again. “And you’re not mad at him?” I pressed. “If it ends up being true, and he knew, you won’t hate him, right? Because he loves you. He’d do anything for you. Even go behind your back to help out the person you love most so you couldn’t get hurt doing it yourself.”
Thane’s jaw worked as if he were having trouble with this one. So I repeated, “You’re not mad at him, right ?”
He glanced at me sharply but then gave a silent shake of the head. “No. I’m not mad at Parker,” he agreed, only to blink at me. “Damn, you really do care about him, don’t you?”
“Yeah,” I whispered as my phone buzzed a third time. Glancing down, I said, “And I really gotta go.”
“Ohrley?” he guessed.
“Yeah. I told him I was going to run out and get us some breakfast.”
Thane sat back in his booth and drummed his fingers momentarily before saying, “I should confess something to you too.”
I tipped my head in question. “About what?”
“You,” he admitted, glancing up to send me a regretful smile. “About why I’ve always had a chip on my shoulder against you.”
I scoffed. “I already know why. Because I was so horrible to Alec, and then I had the gall to ask him for a liver.”
But Thane only shook his head. “No,” he murmured softly. “It had nothing to do with Alec. It was because of Parker.”
“Parker?”
Thane nodded. “ I was his best friend. I was there for him every day after his parents died. And for eight entire months, he wouldn’t say a single word. Not even to me. Then you appeared, and suddenly he’s spilling out an entire novel’s worth of words.” Lifting his gaze to me, he shrugged helplessly. “No one else can reach him the way you do. It’s always been that way. And—” Wincing, he admitted, “I’ve been jealous.”
“I’m sorry,” I started. One thing I never wanted to do was come between any of the seven.
But Thane only waved a hand. “No,” he assured. “Don’t be sorry. I’m happy for him. Just—” He hissed out a breath before shaking his head. “Just make sure he enjoys it while he has it, will you? I’ve always wanted him to experience love the way I got to. Even if it’s fleeting, I want him to get the whole shebang. It’s the reason why life’s worth living.”
I nodded, starting to cry all over again. “Okay,” I promised. “I’ll make sure he enjoys it.”