29. Daphne
29
DAPHNE
I t’s Thursday night and I’m trying to install the new blinds for the living room and kitchen on my own. It’s not a one-person job, even though I am a bit handy. I don’t want to ask Luke when he’s so busy and I worry that my dad might have a heart attack from the exertion. We changed around Wednesday night so my friends could help.
Cameron is mostly good at giving instruction, but Willow and I got the hardware installed. Mackenzie was held up at work so she met us at The Carpe Diem Café afterward. I’d hoped we might see Luke at the restaurant, but there was no sign of him last night.
I’m not really thinking about the merit of men who come home every night right on time, or who are reliably around on the weekend. I just didn’t realize that so much of our limited time together would be consumed by the Odeon’s renovation and this concert.
I tell myself that I’m selfish and don’t need a lot of convincing of that.
And I’m still irritable.
Missing Luke and battling drapery hardware aren’t the only reasons I’m grumpy. My period has come in all its glory, and I have the usual cramps on day one, combined with an epic level of horniness—an urge that can’t possibly be satisfied, whether or not I see Luke, and that just makes me more cranky.
I’ve just finishing hanging the second blind and am checking it out that it works smoothly when I hear a car park in my driveway. Not just any car. It’s a Porsche. I know the sound of that engine all too well. In fact, there’s only one person I know who owns a Porsche, someone I never want to see again.
At least I know Justin would never drive this far for anything.
But surprise, surprise. I raise the blind again and discover that it is, in fact, Justin coming up the walk to my door.
I suppose he should look good to me. He should look like predictability and all the attributes I thought he possessed before—except, you know, fidelity. I suppose he should look like a safe reliable choice and the contrast with Luke should do him a lot of favours.
It doesn’t.
I recall Rafe’s view of my current choice of partner and feel myself scowl. Having been with Luke means that I don’t want what anyone even remotely like Justin has to offer.
I let the blind drop back into place and consider the merit of not answering the door.
Justin will just come back, though. I might as well get this solved.
He has chosen the wrong night to mess with me.
I’m in tights and a T-shirt, dusty and dirty, my hair shoved into a messy bun and my feet bare. There is no make-up left on my face and my nails are due for a buff and polish. I’m not looking my best and I’m kind of glad that Justin didn’t give me any notice of his plans.
I open the door and he pauses in the act of climbing the steps. He’s wearing a navy suit and I can see that he’s shoved his tie in the pocket of his jacket. He was always doing that. He never folded it or treated it with care, which meant that someone had to restore it to rights. The top button of his shirt is undone, revealing that he’s as tanned as ever. His hair is still dark gold and a little curly, though there might be a smidgen of silver at his temples now. Tough to tell in this light. His eyes are still green—why would that have changed?—and they still crinkle at the corners when he smiles, as he does now. He’s still as confident as ever, and clearly can’t even imagine that I wouldn’t be thrilled to see him.
“Daphne,” he says, exhaling my name. I once thought it sounded like a caress, but now it sounds like he’s out of breath.
Maybe he’s spending less time at the gym these days.
“You must have taken a wrong turn at Albuquerque,” I say, leaning in the doorway and folding my arms across my chest. I don’t feel friendly and I’m not going to fake it. “Don’t tell me that what’s-her-name decided to move down here.”
“Heather,” he supplies.
“Hmm,” I say.
“That was a misunderstanding…”
“You’re right. I thought we were exclusive, seeing as we were engaged and all.” I wrinkle my nose. “Was I supposed to ask her to be a bridesmaid, or was she just going to coincidentally book a vacation at the same location as our honeymoon? Maybe we were going to decorate the spare bedroom for her. How exactly was that going to work?”
He steps onto the porch and shoves his hands in the pockets of his trousers, looking like a chastened little boy. “You’re still angry.”
“No. My anger has cooled and set into a hard slab of bitterness that will last a lifetime.” Even as I say it, I realize it’s not true.
I just don’t care.
I have an indifference that could last a lifetime, and that’s a very liberating realization.
Justin, I know, isn’t ever going to believe it. “Daphne, you’re making too much of a little fling.”
“No, I think you made too little of it,” I say. “But it doesn’t really matter anymore. Does it?”
“What do you mean? I thought we could start over…”
“There’s no way I want to do that again.”
“No, Daphne, this time it would be different…”
“I don’t think so.” I sigh when he steps closer to make an appeal. “Give me a little credit. I’m not that gullible, Justin.”
“But I love you,” he says and his confession has no power at all. They’re just words. Empty words. I can’t help but compare it Luke’s heartfelt confession.
He was telling me the truth.
“You had such an interesting way of showing your affection,” I say, smiling when I see a familiar silhouette striding closer. “But then, they do say that actions speak louder than words.”
The man I know whose actions are perfect in every way is closing fast and I’m glad.
Justin, of course, assumes that I’m smiling at him and that he’s making progress. He takes a step closer. “Come on, Daphne.” He gestures to the bench on my porch. “Let’s sit down and have a talk, straighten everything out.”
“How did you know where I live, Justin?” I use his name because Luke is within earshot. I see his footsteps slow and I know he’s waiting for a sign from me.
Choice. He’s all about giving women choices. That must be his mom’s legacy because it isn’t his dad’s. I admire Luke so much for that trait.
“I called your dad,” Justin confides with a wry chuckle. “He wasn’t very encouraging, but after I saw you on Rafe’s socials, I just knew we were destined to be together. I knew we had to give it another shot.” He smiles, a smile that used to dissolve my knees and my reservations. Both are good this time. No surprise. “You looked fabulous, Daphne.” Again, his gaze sweeps over me and I smile that he’s not so fond of the transformation.
God, my mom was right about him. He’d probably kick me to the curb at forty for looking older. Certainly, I’d be shown the door at fifty. This guy is not about forever, even though he talks a good game. How did I miss that bit?
Maybe I was only looking at the surface, too.
His affair saved me from a horrible fate.
I should be grateful to him.
Funny I don’t feel like saying thanks.
“Where are you staying tonight?” I ask.
Justin frowns, his gaze flicking beyond me to the interior of my house and back to my eyes. “Well, I thought, maybe, here.”
“So, let me get this straight,” I say. “We were engaged to be married.”
“We know that, Daphne. I still have the ring, although you should have kept it.”
Better and better. He’s doing that endearing thing of talking down to me. Could he make it any easier to just say no?
“We were essentially living together,” I remind him.
“Yes, you were going to redo the kitchen.” Again, the winsome smile. “It’s still waiting for your touch.”
I continue as if he hasn’t spoken. “I was in the middle of planning and booking our wedding, at which point you decided to become involved with another woman.” He starts to protest. “Not just sex, Justin. Not just a hook-up. A full-blown ongoing affair.”
“Well,” he says and falls silent.
“And when I found out and broke it off, you had nothing to say in your own defense except—” I pause to give his words the weight they deserve. “—‘the heart wants what it wants’.” I had personally thought it was a somewhat lower part of his anatomy driving his choices, but I don’t say that.
Yet.
“You don’t understand, Daphne. I was dazzled by her. You were so busy and Heather was there for me. It was impulsive and wrong, and just a fling. But now it’s over, so I’m back.” He smiles, twinkling at me, laying on the charm.
“It’s been three years,” I remind him. “Did you get lost? It’s maybe a four-hour drive.”
“Daphne!”
“Did you think I was just sitting here waiting for you?”
“Well.” He looks around, probably intending to dismiss Empire as a place lacking in dating options. Instead, he notices Luke standing on the sidewalk, hands in his pockets, listening and making no attempt to hide it. I can only see his silhouette, but he looks big and resolute, a bodyguard ready to kick some butt if I encourage it.
“And so you show up, without calling, assuming that I have nothing better to do than invite you in, feed you, sleep with you, and fill your life with joy once more.”
“You make it sound like work.”
“And you make the option unappealing.”
He turns to Luke and speaks with some irritation. “Excuse me, but we’re having a private conversation.”
Luke takes a step closer. “It looks to me like Daph doesn’t want you on her porch.”
Justin looks between the two of us. “You know him?”
“In every possible sense,” I say and smile slowly.
He looks startled then, and even a little uncertain. He looks at Luke again.
“Go home, Justin, and don’t ever come back.”
“You’re supposed to love me!”
“If I ever did, you fixed that.” I lean around Justin and wave to Luke. “You’re late tonight,” I say, as if he comes here every night. I refrain from calling him ‘honey’ but only just.
One of us would probably laugh.
“So much craziness, but it’s getting sorted,” Luke growls. He steps past Justin, who is clearly gobsmacked, gives him a survey. “Nice car,” he says, then smiles at me. “Sorry I’m late, Daph. Missed you every minute.” I smile back at him, heart thundering, and he catches me close for a kiss that is entirely too long and too passionate for public consumption.
I don’t care. I love it. He swings me off my feet and carries me into the house on one hip, while Justin gapes after us like a fish. There is something very satisfying about being carried off like plunder, especially when you really want the ravishing that comes next. Luke waves farewell to my unwelcome visitor, then flicks the door shut with his fingertips. I reach out to turn the deadbolt and we grin at each other.
“Where am I going to stay?” Justin shouts.
“There’s a Travelodge in Havelock,” Luke calls, his eyes dancing wickedly, then kisses me to silence again.
It’s a good thing he does because otherwise Justin might have heard my laughter.