Chapter 37
37
Bryce - 27 years old
I grab my towel from the pool lounger at the place I’ve called home since I was born. It’s not exactly swimming weather yet, but it’s always hot tub weather. We don’t have this kind of luxury in Berlin and I’m not about to let it go to waste.
You guys doing okay without me? How’s Birdie doing?
Lily
I love you, but for your sake (and mine), please stop asking how we’re doing every few minutes, Bryce. We’re okay. Go enjoy your holiday. You haven’t been back in ages.
Give Birdie a kiss for me, alright?
Lily
I always do. We’re at the playground, but we can FaceTime tonight if you want.
I’ll call you guys.
It’s weird being alone. Since I was twenty-three, I have spent most of my days with Lily and Birdie. People who don’t know that she’s my sister always assume we’re together. And the ones that do know, think that we’re blood-related. I don’t correct them and tell them she’s actually my former stepsister. I don’t need to. They’re my life.
Trying to curb the urge to text Lily again and annoy her, I scroll through Instagram. Jakob on a podium giving a motivational speech...That girl from high school with her new baby…A picture of someone’s hand with an engagement ring on it… My thumb stops moving when I see a picture posted by @sanoharuki92. It’s a shot of the Hollywood sign with forty-six people liking it. Sunrise from a different spot today :) , the caption says.
Are you in Cali?
@sanoharuki92
Yes :)
For how long?
@sanoharuki92
I’m going to be in LA until Wednesday, and then I’m off to Oxnard to visit my family.
I’m in Elsham Cove.
She doesn’t reply directly, and just like some lovesick puppy, I start getting restless, pacing around the house and dripping water all over the floor. I have been thinking about going to see her for a while now. I just didn’t have the balls to do it yet. With everything that was going on with Lily, I didn’t really have a lot of time to do anything other than play the role of supportive brother. I also didn’t want to subject Haruki to someone who was all messed up inside and didn’t have the time for her, anyway. Lily deserved someone to fully support her, and Haruki deserved to not be a part of the mess I created. I wanted her to live her life. I wanted her to be happy.
But now? Now I’m proud to say that I have left all the fucked-up shit behind me. I don’t party unless it’s work-related, and I sure as hell don’t touch drugs anymore. Now, I might actually be a decent enough man for Haruki. It’s a goddamn miracle she still hasn’t completely moved on from me yet. That must be it, right? If I haven’t been served with divorce papers yet?
Can I fly out to see you? Would that be weird? Maybe we can have lunch tomorrow.
@sanoharuki92
You sure? Of course, but tomorrow is really soon.
There’s a direct flight to LAX leaving in five hours. I can still make it .
Absofuckinglutely. What hotel are you staying at? I’ll try to get a room there as well.
This is it, Bryce.
As soon as I get a chance to charge my phone, I sit on the edge of the hotel bed with a drink in hand. My cheeks are starting to hurt from the stupid smile on my face the whole way here from Elsham Cove. I should probably text Haruki and ask her what she’s doing right now. Can I really wait until tomorrow? She’s probably also nervous and giddy to see me, maybe I should put us both out of our misery.
The smile on my face gets replaced by a frown when I see the notifications that are finally coming through. I have one text from Lily, sending me a picture of her and Birdie, one text from Haruki wishing me a safe flight, and ten texts from Cameron telling me to call him as soon as I can. Along with his messages, there are also two missed calls.
Cameron and I reconnected once the Logan thing died down. He told me he never saw anything happen between Lily and Logan and wasn’t willing to go to the police to tell them otherwise. We got into it and lost contact for a while, but reconnected a few years ago. I get it. With the way Cam and his dad make money…I don’t like it, but I get it. They’ve had it rough.
“Dude, sorry, I was on a flight. What’s up?” I ask as I sip my water. He probably just wants to reschedule.
“Bryce, where are you?”
“LA.”
“Fuck.” Hearing Cameron’s voice, my brain is on high alert. This sounds like drug dealer Cameron needing me to be his alibi.
I grit my teeth, but answer him anyway. “What happened?”
“It’s not what you think.”
“It’s always never what I think, but humor me.”
“Do you remember Nick Johnson?” I wince in pain at the name. “The guy who dated both your sister and mine?” I cringe for Nick as Cameron finishes his last sentence.
Not knowing what else to do, I let out a nervous laugh. “You didn’t have to call me just to gossip, Cam. What about him?”
“Bryce…he just got carried out of my house by paramedics on a stretcher.”
“What? Why?”
“He overdosed or got a bad batch, I don’t know, man. Sienna told me he’s been coming around a lot. I swear I had nothing to do with this.” Fuck, this is going to set Lily thirty steps back.
“Is he dating your sister again?”
“No, man. The guy is still hung up on your sister, not mine.” No. Cameron hesitates before answering, and for a while, I can only hear his breathing. He starts to speak again as I make my way to the minibar to get a small bottle of something strong. “He’s been coming around to see my dad.” No . “I have to tell you the truth. My dad…A few years ago, he moved on from selling party stuff and started selling smack and oxy to high school and college kids from the area.” No. “I helped him when he got started, but it was too fucked up for me.” No. “The story your ex told you about that party was true.” Fuck. “Bryce, I’m so fucking sorry, bro.” I’m going to fucking kill him.
“Fuck out of my life, Cameron.”
Nick Johnson still has feelings for Lily. Nick Johnson begged me to tell him what happened to her and I never returned his calls. Nick Johnson looked up to me and put me on some cool dude pedestal. Nick Johnson was a good guy. Probably still is. Nick Johnson was introduced to the Livingstons by me. One Livingston sold him weed, the other one posted a picture of him having sex with my sister, and Daddy Livingston corrupted him for good. I corrupted him for good.
After emptying my mini bar and wallowing in self-pity, my drunken need to get some fucking fresh air and take a walk becomes stronger than anything else. So does my need to see Haruki, but first, I need to sober up.
I need to talk to Haruki. She’s always able to calm me down. She always knows what to do. I need to tell her how lost I am without her. I need to beg for her forgiveness for when I didn’t listen to her and acted goddamn annoyed when she warned me about Logan and Cameron.
Just as I am about to walk out the front entrance of the hotel, I see her. She’s laughing with some guy, looking like the happiest person in the whole world. I decide to swallow the lump in my throat and approach them anyway. This is your price to pay, Bryce.
And as I tap her shoulder to let her know that I’m behind her, this pretentious-ass dude blows out a puff of smoke from his stupid vape and says to the love of my life, “I love you, I love your brother, and I love your dad.” In that moment, the demons inside me that I’ve been suppressing ever since I’ve had to be the pillar of support, the ones who feed on my insecurities and self-loathing, decide to come back to life.
Don’t go down without a fight, Bryce.