Chapter 46
46
Bryce - 32 years old
Three days after saying goodbye to Haruki at the coffee shop
I used to block this city from my map. In fact, I pretended that Osaka didn’t exist. I can’t do that anymore. I won’t.
A few seconds after ringing the bell, I hear the sounds of footsteps on the other side of the door. By the way his lips thin, it’s safe to say that Mr. Sano remembers who I am. He doesn’t say anything; he doesn’t let me, either. He just stands there, his eyes moving from me to the package I’m holding in my hand.
“Good morning, sir,” I say. I don’t bother trying to butter him up with small talk and wits. Haruki’s father is not a fan of mine. I know that much.
“Bryce.” A long pause stretches. He’s probably confused why I’m here. He probably thinks it’s rude that I’m showing up unannounced. But I have no other choice. This is my long shot. “Haruki doesn’t live here anymore,” he finally breaks the silence.
“I know. I was hoping to talk to you, Mr. Sano. Do you have a moment?” Once again, his eyes dart to what I have in my hand. “This is for you, sir. I know it’s customary.” I lift up the present, but he doesn’t take it. He just looks at me like I’m trespassing simply by breathing the same air as him. “It’s a cuckoo clock. I remember you telling me once that your father used to collect them.”
Mr. Sano takes the gift from me and sighs, walking back inside the house. I’m taking the fact the door is not slammed in my face as a sign of invitation to follow him. I’ll take what I can get at this fucking point; this is a win in my books.
“You know where the living room is. Sit. I’ll get us tea.” After a while, Haruki’s dad comes back with a tray. “What is it that you want, Bryce?”
“I would like to apologize.” He crosses his arms over his chest, and I already know that this will not be an easy battle. But I promised myself; whether or not I will get back together with Haruki, I owe this man an apology. At least an explanation.
“For what, exactly?”
I opt for blunt truth. “For punching your nephew. But mostly for marrying your daughter without asking for your permission first. Better late than never.”
Mr. Sano looks at me like he can’t figure out what my end game is. “Do you know, in Japan, before people become an official couple, before they even start seeing each other, usually the man confesses his feelings to the woman first. It’s called kokuhaku . The man would reveal his feelings and then, if the woman accepts the declaration, the process can start.”
“I did not know that. No.”
“The younger generation is becoming less traditional, but that practice is still very common. There are also certain rules on how to meet the parents, to get engaged…” Mr. Sano looks away to his garden and I don’t miss the pained look on his face. “To get married.”
“Again, I apologize, sir.”
“Haruki’s mother was a foreigner, Bryce,” he says, his eyes back on me. “So I understand that the cultural difference plays a part here, but to get married after only knowing one another for such a short amount of time? And for you both to keep it from everyone for so long?” I don’t answer, because my default response would be to say sorry again. I’m getting the feeling he knows I’m here to repent. To my surprise, his features soften. “Haruki told me that it was her who wanted to keep it a secret. Is that true?”
“She didn’t want to disappoint you, sir,” I tell him the truth. “Haruki really loves you and she is always looking for your approval. I asked her to marry me when the two of you were not in a good place. I think she was afraid that if she said anything, it would get in the way of you rebuilding your relationship. She was just doing what she thought was right.”
He’s studying me again, trying to figure me out as he sips his tea, and I can’t help but feel like I’m at a goddamn job interview that I’m failing. “Why are you here, Bryce? After all these years?”
“I’m here because Haruki showed up at my doorstep and asked for a divorce.”
“Ah, I see,” he says with a splinter of amusement. “I was wondering when she would do that. She asked me to hand over some documents of hers when she came here last year.”
My jaw clenches, imagining her setting the gears in motion for her to ask for a divorce and get some closure. “She already asked me for a divorce the night I hurt your nephew…the night you overheard us. Haruki told me that your relationship was strained after what I did.”
“Why are you here, Bryce?” he asks again. “Are you asking my permission to divorce my daughter?”
I resist the urge to scoff and smile through the jab instead. “I’m here because I haven’t been able to move on from her. I’m here because I think she might feel the same. I know she hasn’t dated anyone seriously after me. But I’m not going to open that door unless you let me. She won’t be fully happy unless you accept me, or at the very least tolerate me.” Blowing out a long breath of preparation, I blurt out what I’m here to say. “I’m here to ask your permission to be with your daughter.”
“And why should I give it to you?” That’s a fair question.
“You don’t know me very well, Mr. Sano, and I don’t know how much she has told you about me. I wasn’t a very happy teenager, and neither was Haruki. We probably married each other for the wrong reasons, but I would be lying if I said that I regretted it. I have never loved anyone the way I loved, and still do love, your daughter. It’s a shame that I met her at the time I did. I can’t promise you that I won’t make mistakes, and I can’t promise you that I won’t piss you off again in the future, but I can promise you that I will try my best. That was always my intention, I just didn’t execute it very well.”
I’m not as emotional as I was when I was younger. The thought of that motherfucker Logan doesn’t cause me to burn with rage as badly as it did before, and the fleeting memories of my mother don’t cause me to cry anymore, but being here, begging Haruki’s dad for approval makes me feel like I need to do a hundred jumping jacks just to blow off some steam and channel out the mixed bag of feelings inside of me.
Mr. Sano makes his best attempt at giving me what I think is a smile, but I’m not sure. I don’t think I have ever seen this man smile before—always a poker face—but I don’t care, I’ll take whatever he gives me. “She’s mature enough to make decisions for herself now,” he says with a sigh. “Just invite me to the wedding this time.”
I can work with this. I’ll take it.