Chapter 15 – Lumen
Chapter Fifteen
Lumen
The backstage area at the venue is well-organized tonight. Having Kasey at my side makes for an easier experience, since the venue security seems to respect her. I’ve never had my very own personal security specialist, and I love that she’s a woman.
She has light blonde hair that’s pulled back in a tight ponytail and brown eyes. She’s gorgeous and professional in that way women in the military can pull off effortlessly.
Based on her scent, posture, and height, I’d guess that she’s an alpha.
I spent a solid sixty seconds in bi panic when she shook my hand, but based on the ring on her finger, she’s taken.
While I’ve always been attracted to women, I’ve never been brave enough to take the plunge into dating one.
Women are beautiful and smart and way more intimidating than men.
Maybe that’s where I’ve gone wrong. I’ve been afraid to put myself out there, and it’s killing half my dating pool.
Kasey is highly efficient. No one has shoved us around or run into me, and I’m in awe.
Even when I had Leon around, it didn’t really feel like he was there to guard me.
Kasey is part of the Ruined Records security team that travels with the bands, but that makes sense. The guys seem to know her pretty well.
I’d never seen her before, which is probably due to the fact she focuses on Liminal’s safety.
I got lucky tonight.
By the time Liminal was called to the stage, Theo was already with the rest of his band in the greenroom, or maybe he was already at the meet and greet.
Either way, I didn’t have to see him.
Liminal has put on a killer show that’s hard to look away from.
Kincaid sounds like he’s fucking on stage when he lets his Telecaster hang around his neck as he grips the microphone in his tattooed hand, leaning toward the crowd and singing his heart out.
Malcolm’s abs, obliques, and arms flex as he plays his guitar. The ripped tank top they have him in even shows off the veins on his arms, but I’m guessing only the first few rows of the audience can see that much.
He’s a flirt, for sure, and the ladies in the crowd love it.
Tennyson and Parish feed off each other, playing back-to-back.
No matter where I look, there’s something else to appreciate.
Riser spins his sticks through his fingers, doing crazy tricks as he pounds away on the drums, and all I can think about is how talented he must be with his hands.
He has a completely different energy compared to Kincaid or Mal.
I still haven’t seen the man in short sleeves, which is crazy, considering how hot it is on stage, but the wardrobe department knows exactly how to style him to fit his energy.
His head tilts, and he winks, tossing his right stick up and catching it before landing the next beat perfectly.
Could he feel me watching him?
That would be crazy, considering the number of eyes on him.
The other fans with backstage access scream and squeal, and my stomach flip-flops.
They might have thought that wink was for them, but I know better.
Or I might be delusional.
It’s hard to tell.
Riser is easy to be around. That chamomile scent of his is like taking a double dose of anxiety meds. If I breathe it in for too long, I end up warm and fuzzy.
He made it a point to tell me I didn’t need to rush off when we make it to Columbia tomorrow. Part of me wants to be irresponsible and ride this train for as long as it lasts. The logical side of my brain says I have to go home to Florida and beg for my old bartending job back.
I worked my way from hostess to server to bartender, and I have a bad feeling my old boss will start me at the bottom all over again just to teach me a lesson. The only reason I could afford my apartment at all was because I made way more bartending than I had waitressing.
Either way, I’m going to have to make a decision soon. The smart thing to do would be to go back to Florida to start rebuilding, but that also sounds depressing as fuck.
Who wouldn’t want to travel with sexy rock stars for as long as it lasts?
There’s an interior hallway that connects the room that houses the wardrobe setup and the guys’ greenroom.
Bathrooms with showers line one of the walls of said hallway, and while I take a quick trip down it to pee, I don’t risk going into the wardrobe area.
It also connects to Tangled Desires’ greenroom on the other side, past their hallway of bathrooms.
It’s convenient for the artists, so they don’t have to brave the main corridor with fans, but I keep my ass firmly planted away from the danger zone.
Running into Theo is the last thing I need, and my head is the enemy.
Is he going to hook up with another groupie tonight?
He would have every right to, and if he does, I don’t want to know.
I wander around the greenroom, studying the pictures hanging on the wall to pass the time. They go all the way back to the eighties or nineties, and it’s crazy to see the bands that were playing here long before I was born.
Someone comes down the hallway, and I turn to find Kincaid.
He shoves his long blond hair back from his face, his aqua eyes meeting mine. They’re striking—a light teal that seems unnatural.
Examining his eyes is totally acceptable.
Following his muscular shoulders down his bare chest to his ripped jeans that hang open at the front…
Not so much.
He is covered in ink that disappears into the waistband of his jeans.
“Shit, sorry,” he says, shaking out his shirt.
I’m not sure how I failed to notice, but the tattoos on his hands are skull faces.
While I normally think they’re kinda ridiculous, his were done by an artist with killer talent.
The shading was done perfectly to give the nose cavity depth, and they blend surprisingly well with the tattoos on his wrist and forearm.
“The water was scalding, and I could barely breathe while I was trying to get into my jeans,” he says, shrugging. “I couldn’t take it anymore.”
“Don’t worry about me.” I wave an arm through the air awkwardly. “I’m used to it. This is your space. Just ignore me. Treat me like I’m one of the guys.”
Oh my god.
Why can’t I shut up?
He pulls a plain white T-shirt down over his tan skin, and I shed a proverbial tear for all the women who missed that show. He’s not overly bulky, but his lithe muscles fill out the shirt just right.
The ends of his hair are wet, but it doesn’t look like he undertook washing it.
Not that I can blame him.
This venue really is boiling.
“I can’t promise to treat you like one of the guys,” Kincaid says, smirking. “But I won’t walk on eggshells, either. How’s that for compromise?”
Damn.
I’ve never been a fan of septum piercings, but his fits his face to perfection. It makes him look edgy, especially with the gauges in his ears and plethora of tattoos.
“Have you decided if you’re sticking around past tomorrow?” he asks, zipping his pants and moving to hook his belt.
“I haven’t.” I sigh, even though I don’t mean to. “If I start asking people if I can stay with them, they’ll want details, and I really don’t want to rehash that right now, but I also don’t want to overstay my welcome.”
“Don’t worry about that.” He chuckles, shrugging. “Malcolm has been at least thirty percent more tolerable since you’ve been here. We should probably be thanking you.”
I snort, shaking my head.
They all have this view of Malcolm that I just haven’t seen.
Yeah, he’s hyper and easily excitable, but he reminds me a lot of my best friend. She’s always up for any adventure, and she always sees the best in people. At least, until they screw her over.
If me being around is having a positive impact on Mal, I guess that’s a bonus. I enjoy hanging out with him too.
Kasey leads the way to the meet and greet.
It’s loud.
Noise spills from the open double doors before the room comes into view, and I brace myself for how many people I’m about to have to be around.
Kincaid is directly behind Kasey, and Riser is at my side. Apparently Malcolm is a diva who takes longer to get dressed, but Riser swore he would catch up.
Tennyson and Parish were done getting ready, but I got the feeling they were lingering around, waiting for us to leave to do something.
Possibly to get high.
I have no idea.
Riser leans close and says, “If you get stressed and want to leave, or anyone starts messing with you, come find me. Okay?”
“Okay,” I agree on autopilot. “But I doubt anyone will.”
“The reporters are highly observant,” he says, bumping his shoulder against mine. “Don’t be afraid to hold your ground. Tell them no comment, and if they don’t let up, walk away.”
“I will. Thank you for the heads-up.”
Riser nods, stepping back and giving me some space.
The hallway gets colder with his distance, and I wish he would have stayed close enough for his arm to brush mine. Okay, technically it was the material of his shirt, but the point is valid.
“Lulu, that dress is killer.” Malcolm’s stormy scent hits my nose as he appears on my right, tossing his arm around my shoulder.
“I swear, I spent the last twenty feet trailing behind you like a puppy with my tongue hanging out. The hem is the perfect length to make everyone think they can get a peek of your ass, but just long enough not to show anyone the goods.”
I laugh, letting myself fall against his chest. He smells amazing, and that lighthearted energy is contagious.
Maybe I am going to be okay after all.
I mean, I know I will be eventually, but everything is still fresh. I have these moments when I randomly think I should tell Theo about something, only to realize that’s not going to happen, and it stings.
Malcolm is an excellent distraction from that misery, though. His tank top is ripped so low that my forearm brushes the skin of his bare side. He’s warm and comforting.
I think I want to stick around, at least for a while.
“I’m going to do my best to keep the fans happy without letting the groupies overwhelm you,” Malcolm says close to my ear. “If it gets to be too much, let me know. Okay?”
Jesus.
He really is thoughtful.
Riser too.
After my panic attack last night, I bet they are concerned that I’ll freak out.
I spent a month watching women hang all over my boyfriend and never reacted. I trusted him, so I did everything I could to keep it from getting to me, including straight-up skipping the after-parties. I understood that it was part of the game required to keep the fans happy.
Theo never once checked in with me like they just did.
I think that says it all.