Chapter 35 – Malcolm
Chapter Thirty-Five
Malcolm
Our practice goes smoothly, but afterward, Lumen asks me to stick around so we can chat.
I have no idea why a monstrous-sized pit forms in my gut. It could be the look on her face or that the energy is off.
Something is wrong though, and I hate it.
This isn’t a breakup conversation, right?
Fuck that.
I’ll just politely tell her no.
Can we even break up if we never officially had a conversation about being together?
Goddammit.
I’ve never been broken up with.
That streak can’t end with the one chick that I really like.
“Come sit next to me,” Lumen says, patting the edge of the stage where she sat down as the guys left.
I frown, walk over, plant my hands on the stage, and push myself up. She was already up there, so it was easier for her to sit, but hopefully she enjoys the show with all my muscles on display.
“Please don’t break up with me,” I blurt out, turning to face her.
“What?”
“I like you,” I say quickly. “I’ve never been broken up with, mostly because I’ve never actually dated anyone, but I don’t want to start now.”
“This isn’t a breakup conversation.” She reaches over, pats my thigh, and grimaces. “Okay, it is, but not—”
“I know you and Kincaid hooked up,” I blurt out. “I don’t mind. It’s totally fine. I want you to build a relationship with all three of us.”
“Whoa.” She pulls her hand from my leg to hold her palms out. “I just got out of a relationship. Let’s cool it with the relationship talk.”
“Goddammit,” I whisper. “I’m fucking this all up. Just say what you need to say.”
“I got an offer from the label,” she says, swallowing thickly.
“It’s really good. Like, way better than I ever thought possible, but there’s a catch.
If I sign it, I’ll have to offer them any songs I create for the next two years…
” She goes on to explain that she won’t have to take their offer, but Ruined Records will essentially get first dibs at anything she creates.
“Okay, so take the deal,” I say, shrugging.
There’s no reason why she shouldn’t. It’s a great opportunity. If they like that album, she might be able to work with the label for more.
“I won’t be able to help you work on ‘When The Time Comes’ if I take the deal,” she says, frowning. “I mean, I could, but we couldn’t tell anyone.”
“We need to talk, baby doll.” I slide my arm under her knees while the other weaves around her back. Lifting her, I turn her until she faces me.
She tries to kneel, but I bet the stage is uncomfortable because she wraps her legs around me. It puts all her weight on my lap, which I love. I’ve noticed she tries to hold herself up whenever she’s on top of me, and we need to find a way to put an end to that bullshit.
I might be skinny, but I’m stronger than I look.
We’ll have to address that later, though.
“There’s no reason to lie,” I tell her. “That could have turned into a real mess with Tangled Desires. Even if you sign and have to offer any songs to the label, you said it yourself—you don’t have to accept their offer.
I don’t know why we would decline for ‘When The Time Comes.’ I’m signed to Ruined.
If we can make killer music, and you can earn an income from it, I’m all for it. ”
Her head tilts as she blinks repeatedly. Her mouth opens, but no words come out.
“I’m just saying, being sneaky never gets you anywhere,” I say, hoping she understands what I mean. “We can tell Benji we’re working on a song. We have lawyers who will negotiate with the label and figure out the rest. Don’t stress.” I squeeze her hips.
“You make it sound so easy.”
“It kinda is.” I smirk. “There are people way smarter than me that we keep employed to ensure everything is done by the books. Now, let’s talk about something more interesting.” I wiggle my eyebrows. “How was your night with K?”
“Wow.” She laughs. “You are nosy.”
“Yup,” I agree, nodding. “Give me all the details.”
She snorts, shaking her head and bringing her hands to cover her face.
I lean back, prying her palms away.
“There was premature ejaculation, wasn’t there?” I cackle. “I knew he was freaking out because he gave a less-than-stellar performance.”
“Oh my god, stop.” She laughs. “It was very good.”
“It was very good.” I mimic her voice, dropping her hands to tickle her sides. “You don’t have to lie to me, baby doll.”
She jolts, wiggling around my lap. “You’re evil.”
“Not gonna stop until you spill all the messy details.”
“It was great.”
I tickle her even harder. “Why are you covering for him? I won’t haze him too hard.”
“He knocked the bottom out. Okay?” She snorts. “Like fucked me so deep I started my period.”
“Really?” I freeze, my head tilting. “Huh. I’m impressed.”
“I told you.” She shrugs. “It was crazy hot. He’s always so controlled and measured. Seeing him snap was intense but sexy.”
“Just remember, enthusiasm can be hot too.”
She laughs, and her hand lands on my jaw, guiding me to dip my head.
“Enthusiasm is so sexy.” Lumen stretches up, meeting me in the middle. “You’re perfect just the way you are. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else. I won’t be when you’re inside me.” She pushes her mouth to mine, and a low growl rattles from my chest as I weave my hand into her hair.
My fucking chest flutters as she kisses me, leaving no doubt in my mind that she’s fully in control of the experience.
I like seeing her take the lead. It’s fucking hot. She could boss me all over the bedroom, and it would only make my dick harder.
Our show goes off without a hitch, but the meet and greets for both bands are in one big room. Benji really should have warned us about that fact before we walked into the goddamn after-party, but there’s not much we can do once everyone spots us.
Lumen sticks close to Wren and Kasey.
It’s shitty for the fans who want to spend time with me, but I don’t take my eyes off her the entire time.
Well, unless I’m checking where Theo is.
He’s like the cockroach that just won’t leave the house, no matter how many times someone steps on it.
He barely interacts with any of the women, and if he does, it’s just for a quick picture or autograph. At least he’s not purposely tormenting Lumen, which is the only thing that saves him from having his face rearranged.
I give it a solid hour, but my head isn’t in the game. I make sure everyone around me has an autograph and the opportunity to take a selfie before I fake a migraine.
It’s shitty.
I know that.
It’s just hard to feel guilty. It’s my turn to have some downtime with Lumen.
Riser and Kincaid have both left different meet and greets early.
Tonight is my night.
Lumen has been a trooper, but it’s time to call it. She looks miserable, and she’s dealing with all that womanly stuff. She deserves the chance to relax for the rest of the night.
I pull the hoodie up on my long-sleeve T-shirt.
Maybe it’s just called a hooded shirt?
Whatever.
I keep it up, pretending to feel like shit as Lumen and I head out to the bus. Kasey is our escort, and once we’re settled in, she’ll be able to call it a night.
“Malcolm, we love you!” several female voices chorus from over by the fence.
“Hey, Mal!” This time, it’s a guy. “Introduce us to your girlfriend.”
“Give me a bus tour,” a woman yells.
Flashes fill the air as the paps take pictures of me and Lumen. She’s much more relaxed than she was the first few times it happened, but I still wrap my arm around her shoulder, kissing her temple.
“We’ll be on the bus soon,” I say close to her ear.
“You’re such a faker.” She smiles up at me. “But I appreciate you helping me escape.”
“Always, baby doll.”
“Hey, weird question,” she says, wrapping her arm around my lower back as she leans against my chest. “Theo and his bandmates kept backup instruments on the bus. Do you guys have anything like that? I was thinking we could get some practice in outside of the small amount of time we have at the venues.”
“You still wanna work on the song with me?” A slow smile breaks out on my face.
“I was watching you and Kincaid banter like you always do on stage, and…” She shrugs. “I got an idea in my head that I can’t let go of. I want to work on the song for your dad, but I also want to see if we can make some new stuff for Liminal.”
My head tilts.
I only told her the barest details of where my head was at when I was working on “When The Time Comes,” but I guess she could have heard more from the guys. We’re all up in each other’s shit when it comes to gossip.
“We have a whole bus full of instruments on standby,” I tell her, ignoring the reporters and fans still trying to get my attention. “Just tell me what you want brought over, and I’ll make it happen.”
I’m stoked she wants to work on more than just that one song. I worried she might take a step back completely, but that’s the thing about making music. It’s more addictive than any drug I’ve ever tried, and I’ve sampled nearly all of the good ones.
If I were Andrew, and I had to make the call between continuing to be part of the band and quitting everything, I’d take my happy ass to rehab with a smile on my face.
Music is in my blood.
It’s like air.
Without it, I’d be dead.
When Lumen gets in the zone, she’s a beast. I kinda feel like the third wheel between her, her brain, and K’s backup guitar.
Fourth wheel?
Jesus.
I can’t be jealous of a guitar, but I’m ready for bed. The lines we did before the show have long ago worn off, and Lumen is still scribbling away in her notebook.
Everyone else came back from the meet and greet and hung out for a bit.
Parish, Tennyson, and Wren went out.
To where?
I have no idea, and I don’t much care.
Kincaid and Riser called it a while ago and took themselves to their bunks.
If she lets me sleep with her in the big bed, it’ll just be the two of us.
Is it strange that I’m looking forward to having a night cuddled up together with no expectations?
It would be weird for anyone who knew me before I met Lumen.
We have all the time in the world to write music. What we should be focused on is getting to know each other and building a strong emotional foundation.
Damn.
That could be my privilege showing.
She has way more financial worries than I do. I didn’t have much when we were first signed, but I always knew I could go back home, and my family would take me in. I’m not sure she has even that, so I keep my mouth shut and let her work.
Another half an hour passes, and I look up from my phone to find a pretty solid stack of crumpled-up papers that she’s ripped out of her notebook.
“Want some help, baby doll?”
“I want this song to cooperate,” she mutters.
Her eyes dart to mine, and she smiles tightly.
I’d say she just realized she snapped at me.
Or maybe that’s my RSD trying to rear its ugly head.
“Once I have the overall sound in my head, I would love your help with crafting the lyrics. Right now, I’m at the bare-bones basics. ”
“I don’t know about you, but I’m beat,” I say, stretching. “Why don’t we call it a night and pick back up tomorrow? Maybe your brain needs the rest to reset?”
“I just want to get this part out.”
“Gotcha.” I go back to messing around on my phone.
Another fifteen or twenty minutes pass before Lumen lets out an impressive growl as she rips a sheet of paper from her notebook, crumpling it up and tossing it on the pile of existing discards.
I shove my phone into my pocket and stand, circling the coffee table. It’s always weirdly quiet on the bus when we’re in a venue parking lot. I much prefer the nights we’re moving, since the movement of the bus helps me sleep and provides white noise.
Damn.
I should have gotten us a hotel tonight. It wouldn’t have caused any trouble, as long as we made it to the venue on time tomorrow.
Man, I bet it’s annoying having to deal with her period on the tiny bus. I’m going to work on being a better boyfriend.
That starts with taking care of her when she’s not doing it herself.
I scoop her up, and she flails, holding the notebook to her chest.
“What the hell, Mal?” she squeaks. “I’m working.”
“It’s almost four,” I tell her, striding down the hallway. “It’s time to get some rest.” Hooking a finger in the door, I pull it open and toss her down on the mattress. “You sleeping in that, or do you want to get changed?”
She rolls over, tossing the notebook and pen onto the bedside table. “I want to get comfy, but I also need a trip to the bathroom.”
I nod. “I’ll meet you back here in two minutes.”
Lumen is on the crabby side.
Not that I don’t get why.
I’m so fucking thankful I don’t have a uterus. Dealing with that shit sounds like a nightmare I’m ill-equipped for, but I do want to make her feel better.
My hand teases over her stomach and down toward the band of her panties.
She huffs.
I frown.
This is not going according to plan.
Wouldn’t a few orgasms help with her cramps?
I feel pretty helpless on how to make her feel better, which I hate.
“You’re like a heater,” she grumbles, kicking off the blanket. “It’s finally cooling off outside. How can it be so hot in here?”
“Sorry, baby doll. It’s always hotter when the bus isn’t moving,” I say softly. “I have no idea why, but it’s universally true. Want me to open a window?” I’ve already adjusted the vents to blow directly toward her.
The strange part is that I’m not hot at all.
“No, it’s okay.” She grabs my hand, brings it up to rest on her stomach, and links our fingers.
Well, I guess she wasn’t interested in pre-bed orgasms.
“I owe you an apology for how snappy I’ve been today.” She cuddles back into my chest. It makes her ass grind over my cock, and I remind my dick this is a non-sexual cuddle. “I haven’t felt great, but that’s not your fault. I’ll try to be less crazy tomorrow.”
“Oh, Lulu. I live for the crazy.” I chuckle, leaning up enough that I can see the side of her face. “Throw that shit at me anytime.”
It’s true too.
She’s hot, even when she’s moody.
I’m one of those people who likes a little attitude from someone I’m fucking.
I wouldn’t be with anyone who’s cruel enough to trigger my RSD, but I can already tell Lumen wouldn’t be the type to go for the jugular.
“Just be ready for me to toss your sexy little ass over my shoulder and take you somewhere private to fuck the attitude right out of you next time,” I say, chuckling. “You can yell at me the entire time. I promise, I’m into it.”
“Malcolm, I need you to know that’s kinda weird.” She laughs. “Kinda hot too.”
“Nah, it’s all the way hot.” I kiss her cheek. “Have a good night, baby doll. I hope you feel better tomorrow.”
“Thanks, Mal. Have a good night.”
I settle behind her, burying my nose in her hair. I probably shouldn’t have tried my luck with giving her an orgasm. My original plan was to keep tonight to only cuddling. Once I saw that was what she needed, I ducked and weaved.
Look at me, out here farming good boyfriend points.
I’m going to lock her moody, sexy little ass down before she knows it.