Chapter Three
Ryanne
One month later
T ears blur my vision as I stare down at the white stick I hold, my mind scrambling to grasp the fate staring me in the face.
Two pink lines.
Oh god! I drop to my knees by the toilet, retching as bile surges up my throat and fear grips me like never before. Once my stomach is empty, I flush the toilet and rest my head against the cold porcelain, feeling scared and alone.
How am I going to explain this to Justice after I told him we were safe?
It was a lie. A boldfaced lie. I’m not on the pill but I was so angry and hurt that I let my emotions run my mouth. My feelings for him have always affected my better judgment, which is why I am in the predicament I’m in right now.
The thought of what my parents will do terrifies me most though. They will never accept this child. They don’t even accept me and just thinking what they will do to hide this pregnancy sends a chill down my spine. They will never allow me to finish out my senior year while pregnant.
I have to tell Justice, surely he won’t leave me to figure this out on my own. He’ll no doubt be furious that I lied to him but I can’t see him turning his back on me. Not when family means everything to him.
Inhaling a deep breath, I climb to my feet and splash some cold water on my face. After dabbing it with a towel, I stare at my pale skin in the mirror, the fear and helplessness I feel reflecting back at me. My hand rests against my queasy stomach, soothing over the surface.
A tiny life grows inside of me. A life Justice and I created together in a moment of passion. One night I will never forget even though I’m denied of ever having it again.
The thought has me leaving the bathroom and heading into my room to grab a sweater before I start down the stairs as quietly as possible.
Obviously not quiet enough because my mother walks out of the dining room at my entrance, looking as radiant as ever, her hateful eyes directed right at me.
My father sits at the dining room table, ignoring me as usual.
“Where do you think you’re going this late on a school night?” she asks, her tone condescending.
“I have someone I need to see. I won’t be long.”
“That Creed boy?” she sneers.
I grip the banister, wondering why Justice would be the first person she thinks of.
“I know all about you traipsing around town with him.”
“I haven’t been traipsing around, Mother. Justice and I run into each other from time to time and talk. That’s all.”
She doesn’t buy the lie for a second. “Save it. Everyone in this town knows what a whore you’ve been. You’ve humiliated this family once again.”
My teeth grind as I bite back a reply. “I’m not doing this with you tonight.” I step past her only to have her grab my wrist.
“Don’t you turn your back on me when I’m talking to you!”
Spinning on my heels, I yank my arm away. “Stop! Just stop. Why must you always pick a fight?”
The fury and hatred reflecting back at me is something I’m used to, but even after all these years it still hurts.
I’ll never understand what I did to deserve such animosity from my own mother.
My father isn’t loving by any means but even he isn’t so hateful toward me.
I’ve exhausted myself with trying to find that answer but always come up empty-handed.
I decided a long time ago to stop trying to figure it out and accept it.
I chance a look at my father, hoping that just once he will stand up for me. As usual, he doesn’t, his eyes remain cast down. Shaking my head, I reach for the door, refusing to give her the fight she is so hell-bent on having.
“Leave this house, Ryanne, and you can forget coming back tonight. The door will be locked after you walk out.”
The threat has me hesitating for only a second before I continue outside. I’d rather sleep on the street than come back here.
It’s pouring as I walk down the porch steps, the heavy rain pelting me. I throw my hood over my head and start walking. My steps are quick but that doesn’t prevent the soles of my tennis shoes from being soaked by the puddles.
Minutes later, I’m shivering and completely drenched. If only I could have a car like the rest of my friends, but that would mean my parents would have less control over me and no way would they allow that.
Lifting my head, I swipe my wet hair out of my face and find Justice’s apartment building in the near distance. I break into a light jog, a sense of calm washing over me.
It will be okay, it has to be.
“Ryanne!”
I stop in my tracks and turn around to find Derek Lancaster climbing out of his car and running over to me.
“Derek, what are you doing here?” I ask, baffled by his sudden appearance. I can’t think of a single reason why he would be on this side of town.
He grabs my arm, dragging me behind him. “Come on, we’re getting out of here.”
I resist, digging my feet into the ground. “What on earth are you doing? Let go of me!”
When he doesn’t release my wrist, I pull harder, slipping out of his tight grip due to the heavy rain and landing hard on my butt.
I stare up at him, shocked and angry. “What the hell is the matter with you?”
“What’s the matter with me?” he roars, his face twisted in anger. “What’s the matter with you?” He charges at me, violence dominating his expression as he grabs the front of my sopping wet sweater and lifts me to my feet. With brutal force he slams me against his car, knocking the wind out of me.
Fear snakes down my spine as I stare into the face of a stranger—a raging monster.
“You fucked them, didn’t you? You fucked all three of them,” he accuses.
“What? No!”
“Don’t lie, you’ve been a dirty little slut. First you embarrass me in front of him then you spread your legs for them all.”
I shake my head, wondering what the hell is happening right now. “You’re wrong. What happened between Justice and me is none of your damn business!”
He grabs my face in a painful grip, making me cry out. “That’s where you’re wrong, Ryanne. It’s my business. It always has been.”
“Derek, get off! You’re hurting me.”
His eyes drop to my lips and it’s the only warning I get seconds before his mouth crashes down on mine, tongue thrusting inside.
I cry out against the violent assault and fight to push him off but he’s too strong.
His hand covers my breast, my hoodie offering little barrier as he painfully kneads my flesh.
“You owe me, Ryanne, and you’re going to pay up.” When he reaches between us, cupping my most intimate part, panic thrashes through my veins and instinct kicks in. I manage to get my knee high enough to nail him between the legs.
A painful howl rips from his chest and gives me the opportunity I need to escape. My name penetrates the night, his enraged voice echoing throughout the desolate street as he screams for me to come back.
Sobbing, I run as fast as I can, one instinct dominating all else…survival.
By the time I make it inside the building, I’m exhausted, face soaked with tears and rain but I don’t slow down.
I forgo the elevator and take the stairs, racing up to the third floor.
My legs are jelly and fiery lungs heaving as I knock on Justice’s door.
When he doesn’t answer right away, I bang harder, desperation pouring from me.
Please let him be here.
The door swings open, revealing a shirtless Justice. Concern instantly fills his expression and he grabs my arms to steady me. “Ryanne, what’s wrong?”
“S-something bad has happened,” I stammer, trying to breathe through my hysteria.
He pulls me against his chest, holding me close. “Breathe, baby. It’s okay. I got you.”
“I need your help,” I cry. “I—” My words die in my throat when his brothers walk out of one of the bedrooms half dressed, a blonde woman wrapped in a sheet trailing behind them.
It’s not long before I put two and two together. My broken heart plummets straight to my stomach. I push against Justice’s hard chest, looking up at him as I slowly retreat. His mouth moves as he follows me but I hear nothing over the defeat gripping my chest.
It will always be like this. For as long as I stay here, I will always have to see this. I will always endure the accusations. Everyone will wonder who the father is.
It’s that thought that has me bolting back down the hallway. He calls out to me but I don’t stop, a newfound energy fueling me.
“Goddamn it!”
His angry words follow me as I push through a side door and run down the back stairs. When I make it outside again, I find Derek gone, the rain still heavy and hard. I look both ways, trying to figure out a direction, and hear my name being yelled in the distance.
Justice.
I dart into the woods behind the building, jumping over logs and dodging branches, tears tumbling down my cheeks as I push my way through the thick vegetation. I have no idea where I’m going or what I’m going to do. It all feels like a bad dream that I’d like to wake up from but it never happens.
I’m stuck in this reality of a nightmare. Alone and defeated.
I make it out the other side of the forest, running right onto the highway.
Headlights blind me, a scream ripping from my throat at the fast approaching vehicle that emerges out of nowhere.
Fear anchors me to my spot as I raise my hands protectively in front of my face, my life flashing before my eyes.
The vehicle swerves at the last second, its tires squealing through the air as it just misses me. The old farm truck parks off to the side and out jumps Thatcher Creed.
If I had it in me to laugh at the irony of it all I would, but there is nothing funny about this situation.
Thatcher hurries over to me, cupping my face in the downpour. “Ryanne, are you all right?” His voice is gentle as he looks down at me in concern. “What’s wrong, child? What’s happened?”
Having no one else to turn to at the moment, I drop my head, sobs racking my body. “I need help, Thatcher.”