19. SKYE
SKYE
By the time we got home from the castle, the sun was going down and everybody was running on fumes.
Rita had worn herself out and gone to bed by eight.
Dream crashed in the car on the ride back, still in her party dress.
Justice carried her in, peeled her out of it, and tucked her in.
Storie shut herself up in her room without a word.
With every one settled, I decided to enjoy the deck for the evening. Justice had insisted over and over to make this home my own and feel free to use any of the amenities. I poured myself a glass of wine and headed towards the deck. I figured I’d earned it.
The early fall air was still warm. The dark coming down soft over acres of his land, not another house close enough to hear a sound.
Justice had a firepit built into the far end of the deck, and I decided to light it.
The flames were glowing orange against the dark.
I decided to rest for just a minute and then I’d take my tired feet to bed.
I didn’t hear him come out.
“I didn’t know you were still up,” he said as he made his way outside and sat next to me.
“It’s still early,” I giggled. What the fuck was up with the giggling? I am thirty-five years old. I don’t giggle.
“What a day. Dream had a good time though. The horse will be delivered soon as we get the stable built.”
“I can’t believe you got her a horse,” I playfully shook her head.
“Listen, you gotta spoil your daughters so they won’t be impressed with nobody’s dusty son’s scraps.
I want my daughters to be bougie about who they give themselves to.
Materials ain’t everything but I don’t ever want them with a man for money.
I want those men to come with more than just what they can provide.
And since they’re growing up in luxury, they already know,” he said as he sat back, staring out over his vast land.
“I feel you. And Dream’s a good girl. She’ll appreciate it.”
“Yeah… Thank you for helpin’ Storie out. I know she’s been distant with you but she’s just going through that phase.”
“Uh huh,” I said as I remembered her calling me a booty wiper.
I started to tell him about it but decided against it.
I didn’t want to get her in more trouble and then have her hate me more.
Storie is a smart girl and I didn’t want to be on her bad side.
I had a monetary goal and I wasn’t lettin’ a teenie bopper get in the way of it.
Besides, I had a better understanding of her now. Before he said anything, I’d written her off as one of the nastiest kids I’ve ever met. And back when I was a lawyer, I’d defended some terrible teens.
But sitting here now, knowing what I knew, it fit itself into a different shape.
Knowing that Storie found her mother really brought it home.
I knew that feeling. I knew that grief. I knew what it did to a person to walk into a room and find the one they loved emptied out of their own body.
I knew how that image nailed itself behind your eyes and stayed, played on a loop in the dark for the rest of your natural life.
It had happened to me. And it had made me hard in places I used to be soft, made me icy and cruel to people who didn’t deserve it, in the years right after.
Maybe that was all Storie was. A girl who found a body too young and got mean the way a wounded animal gets mean.
All that lawyer talk, all those cold little questions, maybe it was nothing but a bright, broken child poking at the world to see what would hurt her back.
Curiosity. Grief wearing an ugly face. Aubrey had said it, and I’d waved her off.
Maybe Aubrey was right. Maybe I was seeing a monster where there was only a motherless girl.
I felt the wall I kept that child behind grow a small, quiet door.
“She’s grieving,” I said finally, soft. “That’s all I saw today.
A girl grieving something too big for her.
Being ugly to me is a lot easier than feeling what’s really down there.
I’m the safe one to be mean to. I’m not going anywhere and I’m not her daddy, so I’m free.
” I shrugged. “And they’re all little monsters at that age anyway.
Even the ones who didn’t lose anybody. I don’t take it personal. ”
He was quiet a second. Then, low: “You’re generous with her.”
“I try.”
He got up and brought out the bottle and another wine glass.
He poured himself one and we traded the day back and forth in low voices.
Rita cussing out the DJ for playing a song that had “damn” in it.
And then she had a sundowning moment where she thought the DJ was someone who owed her money.
Dream trying to feed the horse an entire slice of cake.
The Kingsbrook mothers and their outfits.
He was dry and funny, funnier than I’d have ever guessed.
I was laughing more than I’d laughed with a grown person in years.
And at some point I realized I’d stopped watching the exits.
“Yeah, I saw the way they were eyeing you like you were a piece of meat,” I laughed.
“Skye, you should see them when I come to pick her up from school or go to one of those events. ‘Let’s set up a playdate. You and Dream can spend the night. Oh let me do Dream’s hair.’ All while stroking my arm or something. It’s so obvious.”
There it was again. A tinge of jealousy that I had no place to feel. And it made me think of Kira. What kind of relationship did they have?
“You’ve never messed with the moms of either of your daughters’ friends?” I pried to see if the wine would loosen his tongue.
“Never.”
“Uh huh.”
“I’m serious. I ain’t perfect but most of those bitches are married. I ain’t messin’ with no married women. That’s just askin’ for unnecessary drama.”
Oh he has morals. That’s good. Wait. No it’s not. It doesn’t matter. He is my boss and this is just a job.
“You askin’ me all these questions about me. I don’t know much about you. Where you posted before you came to me, again?”
“I was a caregiver for a senior citizen. He was similar to Rita with dementia but he was far more advanced. He had pretty much reverted to his toddler self. Mr. Cooper. I can’t tell you how many times I had to make him put his pants back on. He liked flashing me.”
“Oh hell nah,” Justice laughed.
“Yes! It was an awful sight. I’m scarred for life. But those moments when he was lucid, he was very kind and sweet,” I said remembering him. It was true. I liked Mr. Cooper except for his strong will of swinging his old dick covered in gray hair around.
“What happened? What made you apply to work for me?”
Because you’re loaded! Oh and Mr. Cooper died.
But I went with the sensible answer. “Mr. Cooper passed away. He had a heart attack in his sleep. It broke my heart.”
“Did you find the body?”
“No. I didn’t live with that family. It happened over night and they called me the next morning to tell me they wouldn’t be needing my services any more.
They thanked me. I did go to the funeral to pay my respects.
I hope he’s at peace. When he was lucid he would talk about his deceased wife and how he couldn’t wait to join her.
That’s all he talked about when he was lucid. ”
“Damn,” he said as he took another swig of wine.
“I’m sorry, is that too much for you? I don’t mean to be insensitive.”
“Nah, you’re good. Have you loved someone like that?”
This line of questioning was way inappropriate. But we’d finished the bottle of wine. And yes, yes I have, but I didn’t say anything.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.”
“Yeah, you’re my boss,” I replied, looking him in his eyes. But right now I didn’t feel like his employee.
“Listen. I’m tired, I’m gonna head to bed.”
“Aight,” he said leaning back but there was this low and sexy look in his eye. And if I looked too long, I’d sit down into his lap. And we couldn’t have that.
“Good night, Ms. Mercer,” his deep voice filled the air.
“Night,” I barely squeaked out.
I could not afford any more alone time with this man.