The Depths of the Darién Gap
Triumph
Miraculously, they didn’t see anyone the rest of the day. They walked until it was too dark to see. Their plan was to each take a nap while the other one kept watch. Hopefully, by then, dawn would be breaking, and they could get back on the trail.
“You sleep first,” Triumph ordered. “But before we do that, I need to check your stitches for infection.”
“I feel fine,” she grumbled.
Good grief. Why did women always say they were fine? When they said that, they never were. The word should be abolished from the English language.
“Bullshit. You’re about to fall down from exhaustion. But even more importantly, we’re in an extremely humid and nasty environment. Your wound may look closed, but you’re still susceptible to infection. Probably more so because you think everything is fine.”
She rooted around in her backpack for a protein bar, then sat with her back against a large tree. “If I start hurting, I’ll let you know,” she said around a mouthful.
He closed his eyes and squeezed the bridge of his nose.
Her cranky pants were showing. “You know, if you turn green, fuzzy, and grouchy, you’ll fit right in among the jungle plants.
” His tone was light, but this attitude hadn’t surfaced since he told her to eat and sleep the first time they talked, and that was half the reason he wanted to look at her wound.
If she wasn’t feeling well, it could be affecting her mood.
Infection setting in could kill her quickly here.
“Hardy har har. He lives in a garbage can. That would stand out like a fast-food restaurant in here.”
He stared her down. “You can’t afford to take chances, Glennon.”
“Relax. I’m just tired.”
“I know you are, but let me check the site and appease my worrywart nature. If everything’s good, awesome.”
With an exaggerated sigh, she pulled her shirt free from her pants. “There are better ways to get me undressed, you know.”
He smiled. If she was making snarky sex comments, he knew, at heart, she was okay. “Pull up your shirt, please, and don’t get yourself all riled up when there’s nothing I can do about it out here.”
She emitted another sigh, just as dramatic as the first, and lifted the hem to just below her breasts. “Happy now?”
“Yes. But I’ll be even happier when we’re in my apartment, and I can take the shirt off myself, and you can bet it won’t be to check your stitches.”
Silence.
Teasing her was so much fun.
Hiding his smile, he peeled back the bandage to look at the threads through her skin.
It was still pink and a little puffy, but Demon had assured him that this was normal for the healing timeline.
Just to be sure, he sanitized his hands with an alcohol wipe, put on a pair of latex gloves, used another alcohol wipe to gently clean the affected area, and then replaced the old bandage with a new one.
Once he was sure it was well attached and everything covered, he gathered all the trash, stuffed it inside one of the gloves, and buried the garbage in his backpack.
“All right, Ms. Grumpy Pants, time for you to sleep. I’ll wake you up in three hours.”
She mumbled her way through settling in. There were two minutes of complete silence, except for normal jungle noises, and then she spoke.
“You know, you were incredibly lucky no one realized you had all that money with you. You could have been robbed, carved up into a million pieces, and left somewhere. Do you have any idea how much money that actually is down here?”
“After what I saw in that camp, I wish I had brought more.”
Wide-eyed, her mouth opened, then closed. It took a few moments before she could use her words. “What did you do?”
He stared out into the night. “I bought some food and clothes for a few boys who were hanging out on the river edge. They were going through the trash behind a food stand, scraping the plates for crumbs, and they were next to naked.”
Her mouth dropped open. “That was dangerous. They’ll remember you. If Guillermo’s men ask them about us—”
“I’m pretty sure I bought their loyalty, short of a gun to their heads. If all those asshats offer them is money, those kids will probably take it and send them in the wrong direction.”
“Apparently, I’m not the only amazing person in this duo.”
He heard the affection in her tone, and it warmed him from the inside.
“Guess we make a pretty amazing pair. We’ll have to test that when we get home.”
“Thank you, Triumph.”
He risked a look over his shoulder at her. “For what?”
“For not getting rid of that phone. For answering. For coming to get me. It would have been far easier not to.”
“No thanks needed.”
“A lot of thanks are needed. To a lot of people I don’t know. Who’ve never met me, and some of them maybe never will.”
“Sit up.”
She sat upright from the tree, and he slid in behind her, his knees on either side of her and his back to the trunk. After he settled himself, he pulled her against his chest, his chin resting atop her head. “That bothers you, doesn’t it? That strangers are willing to help you.”
Her voice softened, becoming the jungle’s underscoring rather than the other way around. “When people help you, they expect things in return. I don’t like owing people.”
“Well, you won’t owe anyone anything for this, Glennon. It’s basic human kindness.”
“I think this qualifies as more than ‘basic.’”
“Well, okay, you’ve got me there. But these people helping you?
They’re all protectors, every one of them, all the way to their core.
Who else do you know has a group of super-secret mercenaries who would haul their asses all the way to South America just on someone’s request?
Texas Rangers. FBI agents. Wildlife officer.
Hell, you even have a coroner rooting for you. ”
“We could leave him out of this, if it’s all the same to you.”
He snickered. “I’ll make sure to tell Calder he’s not on your Christmas card exchange.” He shifted, pulling her so he could put his head next to hers. His tone reverted back to serious. “My point is, these people don’t think twice about jumping in to help strangers. It’s part of their DNA.”
“People always want something from you if you ask for help.”
“Not these people, Glennon. It’s not a tit-for-tat situation. No one keeps score. Some people need more help at different points in their lives and less at others.” He kissed the side of her head. “Let them do what they were born to do.”
He felt her body tighten, twitch, then vibrate, trying to hold herself together—battling against the need to let someone else take care of her. She hadn’t realized yet that with one phone call to him, she’d cracked open the door to letting others in.
“I don’t know if I can. No one’s been there before.
I’ve always had to look after myself. Always,” she emphasized.
“My employers wouldn’t help me because I was their only link to Guillermo.
My parents wouldn’t help me because all they saw was Joey.
And Joey couldn’t help himself, let alone anyone else.
Why would I believe someone would help me now? ”
“Answer me this. We only ever spoke by phone, and our last conversation was a decade ago. There was a high chance that number would be out of service. So if you truly believed no one could help you, why did you even try?”
“Self-preservation instinct?” she suggested.
He ignored her answer. “Not only that, you had to know there was the danger that I wouldn’t remember you, or that if I did, I could call someone at the NSA and turn you in.”
“I…”
“Worse yet, someone could have picked up and immediately turned you in to the CIA. So again, why bother?”
“No one wants to die,” she supplied weakly.
“Fuck that noise!” he scoffed. His arms banded across her chest, locking her to him. “Death doesn’t scare you, Glennon. You’ve faced it daily. Hell, you’ve brazenly challenged it to come for you. No. You called me because a piece of you knew that I would be there. That you could count on me.”
“You can break me, Triumph,” she whispered.
“I’ve stayed on my own because I know that to put my trust in anyone else was certain death.
Reaching out to you was a gamble. My heart told me to trust you, but my brain acknowledged that if you betrayed me, there really was no one out there who could help me.
” She looked over her shoulder at him. “Please don’t prove my heart wrong and my brain right. ”
“I would never. Your heart is safe with me in all ways, Glennon.”
He leaned forward as she turned further toward him. Their lips met without fanfare. No celebration, no pride. Just honest emotion.
Something stirred inside him. It began as a tingle at the very heart of him.
A memory surfaced of a time as a child when he’d been visiting family in Utah on New Year’s Day.
Being a Texas boy, he’d played outside, not truly understanding that being wet and cold was dangerous.
When he returned indoors, he couldn’t feel his feet because they were so cold.
As feeling returned, the tingling sensation was agonizingly painful—heat burning him from the inside out.
Kissing Glennon now brought back that same sensation.
It stung, knowing she’d been alone for her whole life with no one she could count on until now.
But while his heart prickled, the heat was saving it with each passing second.
The only time he’d ever felt strong emotions of any kind was with his friends.
No matter the love he had for them, though, he had only ever truly felt alive at Shadowlands, when he was buried deep inside someone.
But those emotions dwelt in the dark, where he burned with a need to fuck.
To overpower someone. Claim them on his terms—when, where, and how he wanted.
With Glennon, for the first time, he felt the stirrings of life just by being with her. He didn’t need her submission in the day-to-day to experience the rush of emotion.
When exactly had he lost his connection with people?
He knew that, truthfully, the “when it started” was inconsequential. What mattered was the “when it stopped.” That moment was Glennon’s text coming from out of the void.
His lips had been comforting her, reassuring her as much as the arms wrapped around her. But she needed rest, and time was short. Neither of them would appreciate the direction more kisses would take them, since there was nothing more they could do now.
Drawing back, he tucked her to his chest once more. “Sleep, little spy,” he urged. “We’ve got a long day tomorrow.”