Chapter 17
Justice couldn’t help but be amazed at how fuckingly pathetic his morning was already turning out to be.
First fuck up was allowing Dante to catch him in the gym, read him like a fucking book.
Second fuck up was going out into the courtyard when he thought he was escaping the house altogether.
Instead, he’d found himself trapped within the stone walls with a chatty Travis and a too-perceptive-for-his-own-good Jasper.
He had to admit he was lost and then ask them for directions on how to get his sorry ass outside of the castle walls, away from everybody.
.
He’d lied and said he was going for a jog.
Well, it wasn’t actually a lie.
He was going to jog to the nearest phone so he could call his dad to come and get him.
In an attempt to make his story more believable, he’d whipped out his iPod and started fiddling with it.
Then he realized his stupid iPod was as dead as Malachi’s heart when it came to him, so there was another fucking delay he was going to have to deal with.
As soon as Travis had realized his iPod was dead, he’d demanded that Jasper go up and get his for Justice to borrow.
Perfect.
He did not need an iPod where he was going.
All he needed was a safe place where he could hide away and lick his wounds like the pathetic, insecure, love-starved freak that he was.
Nope, one didn’t need an iPod for that shit.
Instead of putting some safe distance between him and the man and woman he was falling in love with, he found himself waiting on Jasper to bring him his iPod…
and gently tapping his forehead against the wall in frustration.
It would probably feel much more satisfying if he was banging the wall with his head but suspected it might draw too much unwanted attention in his direction.
He just needed to escape for a while and lick the bloody wounds littered across his pussy heart.
He would go home, maybe visit his psychiatrist again, and pretend like everything was fine and dandy.
He wasn’t going for a fucking run, he was running for his fucking life.
The minute his feet hit the pavement outside, he was climbing on his motorcycle and flying away.
He was letting go.
He had to let go.
A sharp slap on his ass jerked him back to reality.
“Good morning, Hot stuff! You fucked me but yummy good last night.” A sexy voice whispered in his ear right before dainty teeth clamped down on his ear lobe.
He jerked and tried to step away at the same time Susannah must have realized her mistake.
“Oh, shit! Oh, my, gosh! I’m so sorry, Justice. From behind you look like…” She put her hand over her mouth and started giggling like a cute schoolgirl.
At this moment, she looked nothing like the badass ex-FBI Domme he had imagined her to be.
“I thought you were Jasper,” she finished lamely, in between her girlie giggles.
Justice watched as Jasper walked up behind Susannah and wrapped his muscled arms around her slim waist.
The cute kid had puppy-love dripping from his face, it mirrored Susannah’s look perfectly.
“I’ve been impatiently waiting on you to wake up so I could fuck you but yummy good again this morning, Mistress,” Jasper teased back.
“Here ya go, Justice. It’s all I’ve got to offer.” He made a worried look with his mouth.
“I’m going to defend myself ahead of time by saying Travis selected and downloaded all the music.”
“Thanks, I’m sure it will be fine. I’ll be back in a few hours.”
Jasper tossed Susannah over his shoulder and smacked her shapely ass as he started toward their bedroom.
Her fake shrieks filled the air, making Justice feel even more alone in a house full of lovers.
As soon as he’d gotten outside, he sat Jasper’s iPod aside where it would be found, climbed onto his bike, and roared down the driveway, toward safety…
toward loneliness.
His dad would be disappointed.
Only three days ago, he sworn…
promised his father he was in complete focus.
He’d lied.
The gate at the end of the drive didn’t open automatically, causing him to send an evil glare toward the security station situated a few feet from him.
He didn’t have time for this shit.
A man walked in his direction, a troubled smile on his face.
“Good morning, sir. Going for a ride this morning?”
No shit, Sherlock, he wanted to say but simply answered, “Yes, sir. Seems like a good morning for a ride.” God, could he sound any more fake?
Could they see?
Did they know how useless he was?
Hell, they probably felt sorry for him.
The man answered with a worried chuckle.
Oh, shit.
This wasn’t going to go well.
Could he please catch a fucking break?
Just one time?
“I don’t have any notes about anyone leaving the castle this morning, sir. If you don’t mind, give me just a moment to call into the house. I apologize for making you wait.”
There was no way in hell Justice was allowing that man to call into the castle.
He was not talking to anyone about his…
well, his anything.
That simply was not going to happen.
Not today, tomorrow, or the day after fucking that.
“Am I a prisoner here? Because I thought I was a guest.”
“Of course not, sir! It’s just that I usually have notes of all the comings and goings of the castle’s residents. All the way from Mr. Dante himself to the man who buys the groceries. It’s just how things are done.”
“Not today. Open the gate. I’m in a hurry.” He hated acting like a shit, but he hated facing Malachi and Megan even more.
He was certain the man wouldn’t get into any trouble for letting the nutcase off the property.
Hell, they might even give him a bonus with his check this week for getting rid of the nuisance.
“Yes, sir,” the man grumbled with a sick look on his face.
“You aren’t going to get me into trouble with Mr. Malachi, are you son? I wouldn’t want to disappoint him. He’s very special to all of us.”
Well, wasn’t that just fucking toasty with champagne bubbles.
“Nah. I’m doing Mr. Malachi a favor right now. He’ll be pleased. Trust me.”
The man looked at him with blatant mistrust in his eyes, but the gate slowly opened anyway.
He didn’t wait a second longer than necessary.
As soon as he could fit through the opening, he was out the gate and roaring down the road.
Escaping.
Running.
Hiding.
Being an all-around fucking coward.
They say that when you’re riding a motorcycle, your mind is at peace because all it can do is focus on the ride.
Not true.
Not fucking close to the truth.
His mind was racing wildly, desperately trying to understand, make excuses, and dream a little dream…
Maybe he had over-reacted?
Maybe Malachi didn’t kiss dudes?
It made him sick, literally sick, to recall the look of pity on Megan’s face when she’d watched him kiss Malachi last night.
She’d known, she’d seen his desperation.
He didn’t need her pity and he didn’t fucking need Malachi.
They could both just kiss his ass for all he was concerned.
He was a fucking liar, he knew he was lying.
He did need them…
and he wanted them.
He just didn’t want to be only a plaything for them in the bedroom.
Megan cared for him, it was written all over her face.
Malachi loved Megan, he used Justice.
Shit, he was turning into such a fucking girl.
What had he expected?
Malachi would fall in love with him?
Yea, there wasn’t a fat chance of that happening.
He was a submissive in the playroom and nothing more.
Yep, pity party in full swing.
His hand cranked the throttle, edging it one nudge past safe driving.
He needed the distance.
Yea, but you need to be safe.
Don’t do something stupid like before .
Shit.
Was that where he was headed?
Had he gotten that pathetically weak again?
No, he wasn’t that weak again.
He was angry.
He felt used.
His heart was broken.
Fuck…
he was in love.
He was such a fucking pussy.
He was going back.
He was going to take whatever Malachi offered him and was going to be thankful to get it.
He was going to remain focused.
He was not going to the left wrist…
not until he didn’t have any other choice available to him.
Hell, after they talked to Dante, they might not want him as their submissive anyway.
He was broken, that was for damned sure.
Would they think a broken toy would be fun to play with?
That was the last damned, worthless thought that he tossed through his mind before his bike hit a slick spot on the road and started sliding out of control.
He’d been going way too fast and his mind had been way too occupied with everything except driving safe.
His bike, still roaring with fury, went in one direction while he body slid in the exact opposite, kissing the pavement with each twist and turn.
He felt his clothes start to tear away…
then his skin…
then nothing.
Malachi sat quietly in one of the loungers in the courtyard and pondered what the hell he’d done to piss Justice off.
He’d been cock-deep in Meg last night when the kid had disappeared on them and then he’d been gone for a run this morning before he had a chance to ask what had rattled his chain.
Megan was being pretty tight-lipped about it, too.
That usually meant he’d fucked something up and they thought for some dumbass reason that if they made him try to figure it out for himself, it would be a better lesson learned.
He thought they should just fucking tell him so that he didn’t repeat the same mistake again.
“We need to talk, Malachi,” Dante said as he strode out into the courtyard, a worried frown on his face.
“Okay. What’s up,” he asked.
“You told me that Justice told you about his childhood…about his problems?”
“He did,” he answered with a confused frown.
“He told me he wasn’t really Conner’s kid, that he’d been found in a closet at a drug house. His mom was dead. They weren’t sure how long he’d been there, but he was pretty messed up…almost dead.”
Dante flopped down in the chaise next to Malachi.
“Is that all he told you?”
“There’s more?” Malachi looked up and saw Megan staring down at them from the floor where their bedroom was located.
She didn’t look pleased…
she looked fucking terrified.
“What else? It doesn’t matter to me, it’s not going to change how I feel about the kid. Just go ahead and tell me.”
“Justice suffers from Reactive Attachment Disorder. It’s a psychological problem that occurs from a child not receiving the basic needs of comfort, love, and affection during their growth period. The disorder sometimes causes the children to not be able to develop normal, healthy attachments to others.”
Malachi snorted.
“Well, I’m going to have to argue with you then, Dante. The kid is full of nothing but love. He’s fucking amazing in more ways than I could begin to explain. I’m afraid you’ve gotten some bad information. My boy’s just fine.” He waved up at Megan.
She gave him a sad wave back.
Fuck.
Dante shook his head.
“Yes, he’s fine. He’s not broken but he does have RAD, which means you have to be very careful to help him avoid allowing his triggers to be provoked. If they are provoked, then you will need to help him muddle through all the bullshit and get back on solid ground again.”
“You’re wrong, Dante. Justice is fine.” What the hell was a trigger ?
“I need you to research the disorder, Malachi. You have to educate yourself on the triggers and how to avoid letting them get away from him. His disorder is the dis-inhibited type of RAD.” Dante reached over and gripped Malachi’s thigh.
“A Dom/sub relationship could be very dangerous if not handled properly, Malachi. There are triggers and he does have the disorder.”
“Are you sure about this, Dante? He acts more normal, more loving than anybody I’ve ever known. Hell, the kid would move Heaven and Earth if you asked him to.”
“Yea, that’s a symptom. That could be a symptom,” Dante corrected himself quickly.
“Personally, from what I’ve witnessed, I think the kid just has a loving and nurturing nature about him. Unfortunately, those characteristics are the same as symptoms of dis-inhibited RAD.”
“What are the symptoms?” Fuck, please don’t let him have done something to fuck Justice up.
Please.
If he had toyed with that kid, regardless of how innocent he might have been, it would damn near destroy him.
He loved the kid.
Dante drew in a deep breath.
“Compulsive care-giving nature, desires excessive intimate contact, feels under-appreciated or unworthy of love, idealizes others, emotionally overindulgent in a relationship, jealousy, extreme emotions with mood swings, sensitive to any form of rejection, suicidal.”
His world swirled black in front of him.
Suicidal?
What the hell?
His boy was perfect.
The list of symptoms kept circling around in his head…
fuck, what if none of it was real?
What if he’d done something to hurt Justice…
made him do something he didn’t really want to do?
He nearly doubled over when a wave of panic washed over him.
“Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Dante, what have I done? Suicidal? The kid could hurt himself because of me?”
“Not because of you, Malachi, because of things that he misinterprets…triggers.”
“He would have told me. He wouldn’t have kept this from me.” Malachi started pacing.
“Oh, fuck, I could have hurt him. Shit! He would let me hurt him, wouldn’t he? He would let me do whatever the fuck I want because he wants to please me.” Bile came up in his throat.
The things he’d done to the kid…
thinking he was enjoying it.
Fuck, he’d probably raped him.
“Calm down, Malachi. We don’t know if that is true or not. His father says he’s led a normal life for the past six years. He believes he has complete control of the situation and Christopher should know what’s best for him. He’s been there with him when it was bad, really, really bad. Fuck, he loves that kid to death.”
“I love that kid to death!” Malachi bellowed.
He picked up the chaise lounge and threw it across the patio, sending it slamming into the glass doors, shattering them into a million pieces.
“I hurt him.”
He saw Megan running for the doors, desperately trying to reach him.
Jasper caught her just in time, sweeping her up and in his arms, carrying her over the broken glass and not setting her down until she was standing in front of Malachi.
“Do you need me for anything?” Jasper asked, his eyes haunted even more than usual as he watched the people he loved suffer.
Fuck, but Jasper knew a thing or two about suffering.
Dante shook his head and motioned for Jasper to go back inside.
“I hurt him, babe. I hurt him really bad. I…I thought he liked it.” Malachi was closer to tears than he’d been in a very long time.
He was just like his fucking father, he raped and took what he wanted just because he fucking could.
Megan grasped his face tight between her palms.
“You did no such of a thing, Malachi. I don’t doubt what Dante is saying, but what that boy feels for you and me…it is real! I swear to you it is real.”
“You knew?” Malachi hissed.
“You knew and you let me…”
“Stop it, Malachi! Megan only knows what I told her when I came to your room looking for you. Get a grip. We’ve got to get this shit together and find out what trigger hit him last night. Once we know that, we can help him work through it.”
“What do you mean? Something happened last night?” Shit, yea, something happened last night!
He had known the kid was upset, had let him just walk out of the room…
following that earth-shattering kiss.
“I found him in the gym this morning. He’d been there all night and had damn near killed himself. According to Christopher, exercising is one of his coping mechanisms, works himself to death to try and clear his head. It helps him focus.”
Focus .
Oh, shit.
The tattoo.
He’d tied the boy up and toyed with him, demanded he tell him what they meant…
fucked with his head.
Let Go .
Oh, fuck, no!
Please no.
Don’t let him have done something stupid.
“Where is he?” Desperation laced his voice.
Let Go .
What did that even mean?
What all could it mean?
Leave him?
Suicide?
“He said he was going to shower. He knows I’m telling you. He’s ashamed, Malachi. I don’t know the fuck why, but he’s ashamed.”
“He wasn’t in his room. I checked,” Megan answered.
“Where the fuck is he? Find him for me, Malachi,” she pleaded.
This was going to end badly, she just knew it was.
She’d seen the hurt in his eyes last night.
She suspected she knew exactly what his trigger was.
Her .
Throwing her into their mix had messed with his head.
She had caught him watching her and Malachi interacting together, a haunted look on his face.
Why the fuck hadn’t she said something about it?
Malachi was torn between being furious with Dante for saying shit about his boy and being furious with himself for not recognizing any dangerous factors that might have been at play with Justice.
He could fix this, he had to fix this.
Justice was worth it, he meant the world to him and Megan.
Fuck, they both loved the kid.
Right now, he just needed to touch him again, had to see with his own eyes that he was safe, to tell him how he felt.
His desperate thoughts were interrupted by his cell phone starting to ring.
Glancing down, he got even more pissed when the cell indicated the call was coming from ADX, otherwise known as the Alcatraz of the Rockies…
otherwise known as the hell hole where Nicholas was serving out his life sentence for his role in one of the largest human trafficking networks in the United States.
He’d hoped the plague to society would just ride off into the sunset and die a horrible death in a federal prison without bothering him again…
but he’d known the bastard wouldn’t be able to grant him even that small token of fatherly affection.
It had taken over a year before the first attempted contact was made, so Malachi guessed he should appreciate that fact.
He would contact the prison tomorrow and have it fixed where Nicholas couldn’t try to contact him again.
How in the world that son of a bitch got his number, he’d hate to know.
“Malachi.”
“Mr. Kurzenkova? There’s been an…incident,” he man stuttered into the phone.
“Please tell me he’s dead,” Malachi grit out.
He didn’t have a second to waste of his sorry excuse of a father.
He needed all his energy focused on Justice…
focused on what he needed to do to make things right again.
“If he’s not dead, there isn’t another damned thing about him that interests me.”
“He’s escaped, sir. Director Conners wanted me to contact you immediately. He’s handling things on this end, but insisted that you were in possession of…precious cargo that he wants protected.” The man coughed nervously into the phone and added, “He told me to stress to you that you’d better protect him with your life, sir.”
“Fuck,” he mumbled, disconnecting the phone without another thought for the man on the other end.
Malachi felt the ground drop out from under him in a split second.
This couldn’t be happening, not again.
Nicholas was supposed to be safely tucked away behind federal bars…
unable to fucking hurt them anymore.
The people he loved should be safe, no longer suffering just because of their connection with him.
He felt Dante’s frown on him, wondering what the hell was going on.
He suspected he had a terrified look on his face.
Hell, he was fucking terrified.
“Nicholas has escaped.”
Megan gasped in terror and Dante let out a string of curse words.
Both of their faces were a mask of total shock, disbelief, and fear.
There was no way this should be happening, they all worked too hard to ensure Nicholas or Victor ever had the power to hurt any of them again.
“How the fuck did that happen?” Dante screamed in outrage.
Before he could answer, his phone started ringing again.
He glanced down, knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt who it would be on the other end of the line.
The bastard wouldn’t be able to wait a second longer than what was absolutely necessary to rub it in his face…
to threaten him and the ones he loved.
He pushed the button, but didn’t say a word…
wasn’t sure he could even speak at the moment.
“Son, I’ve missed you so much.”
The voice was the same as he remembered, the same that had haunted him as a child and still haunted him as a man.
It made his blood turn ice cold and his heart constrict so tight that he feared it would never beat again.
Everybody was safe.
Everybody he loved was right here with him at the castle.
Nicholas could never get to them.
He didn’t have anything to worry about.
Why, he wondered, was he suddenly terrified?
Megan was in his arms and Justice was safe, this was just another sick game of his fathers’.
Nicholas didn’t even know about Justice.
It was impossible for him to know.
“What the fuck do you want?”
Nicholas laughed and the sound of it made Malachi realize his father felt like he was once again calling the shots.
That could only mean one thing…
“I want to see you again, Malachi. I’ve missed you terribly. We’ve much to talk about, you and I.”
“I don’t have a damned thing to say to you.”
“Imagine my surprise, son. I was simply being a good little prisoner, sitting in the cozy rec hall with all my wonderful new friends and who do I see on the television set? My son, that’s who,” he answers his own question.
“For four days I see the reruns of him on the screen making love-sick faces at the pretty blonde witness in Marcus O’Hara’s trial.”
What a fucking fool he’d been to let himself be filmed while in that courtroom.
He’d wanted to be with him to ensure his safety and it could end up costing Justice everything.
This was why he shouldn’t allow himself to fall in love…
he was a danger to everyone around him!
“I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about. Shouldn’t you be trying to get your sorry ass out of the country instead of wasting time chatting with me? You won’t have a chance in the United States, dad . You’d best make a run for it while you still can.”
Nicholas laughed into the phone.
“No, no, son. It’s no longer about my freedom or trying to form a relationship with my son. No, now it’s only about revenge. I only need to avoid the FBI long enough to destroy every single person you love…starting with the pretty blonde boy that has you acting so pathetically foolish and weak.”
“Don’t come anywhere near me or mine, Nicholas,” Malachi hissed into the phone.
“I promise you this…it will be a battle you won’t survive.”
“Tsk. Tsk. I’m not at all worried. You didn’t have the balls to kill me before and from what I saw on the television, you still haven’t grown any.” He laughed into the phone.
“No, Malachi. I’m not afraid of you but you need to be very afraid of me. You see, I have nothing to lose.”
Malachi opened his mouth to argue, but slammed it shut before any words came out.
Arguing with the bastard was a waste of time and energy.
“Your threats are beginning to bore me. Are w finished?”
“He’s such a pretty thing.”
Malachi felt his teeth grit so hard he feared they might shatter.
“Thanks for stating the obvious. I don’t normally play with ugly subs. That’s what he is, you know, my sub. Nothing more, nothing less.”
His father wasn’t buying it.
“I’m going to have so much fun playing with him. With Jasper it was different, you know,” he said slowly.
“You only had to pull out a man’s cock and Victor’s angel would start whimpering and crying like the pussy he was and, I’m sure, still is. Your boy, Justice, I’d say it’s much different with him. If he’s with you, he must be quite the pain whore. Breaking him, it won’t be nearly as easy as breaking someone like Jasper.” He made a clicking sound with his tongue.
“Breaking him will take work…hard work and devious implements of torture.”
Malachi felt his control slip away.
“If you fucking try to touch him, I’ll kill you,” he swore.
His voice was deadly calm but his heart felt like it could explode at any second.
Just the thoughts of Nicholas getting his hands on Justice caused him to want to die.
“No, you won’t, son. We’ve already established your weakness in that area. You were too big of a pussy to finish the job the first time around. You surround yourself with weakness and it will eventually make you weak as well. You won’t kill me, you won’t lay a finger on me,” Nicholas promised.
“I hate you.”
“I don’t care. Now, keep him close, son. Don’t make this too easy on me.” He laughed again.
“Wait a minute, do you even know where he is right now?”
The line went dead.
Malachi’s eyes snapped to Dante.
“Where is Justice?”