Chapter 9 #2
“Dad! That’s not going to happen. We’ve known one another for ages. I’ve seen his face. He’s seen mine. I trust him and I want to help him.”
“You and your soft heart. Does he know your address?”
“Yes. I told him he could stay with me.”
“For crying out loud. In your tiny bedsit? There’s barely enough room for you.
No room for another bed—oh. Right.” He sighed.
“But you don’t know him. He can’t work until his application for asylum is accepted.
It could take over a year. You’re going to support both of you on your irregular earnings? You’re not thinking straight.”
“Because I’m providing a place to live, he’s entitled to a little income from the government. Around fifty pounds a week. That will help. I’m going to do this. It’s the right thing to do. He’s clever. He’s scared. And I like him. He just needs a chance.”
“What does he do—what did he do in Afghanistan?”
“Computer engineer. He can volunteer to run courses until he’s allowed to work here. His English is perfect. As good as mine.”
His dad heaved another dramatic sigh. “I want to meet him after he arrives.”
“I’d like that as well.”
“Come and help yourself to spaghetti.”
Kaden was glad his dad had dropped the subject.
He didn’t want this time with him to be spoiled.
While they ate, Kaden practised a few of his comedy routines.
Still on the subject of pets. Hamsters this time.
They were given such cute names but their bite was vicious.
Kaden had been frightened to touch Sugar for weeks and had sat in a bath with him every day to let him run over his body.
An empty bath. That made his dad laugh. And with his hands over his crotch. That made him laugh too.
“I need to get a book from my room before I go.”
“They’re all still there.”
Kaden headed up the stairs. He sighed when he went into his bedroom.
What’s wrong?
“Lots of memories. Some good. Some not so good.” He walked over to the shelf of books, mostly ones he’d read as a teenager but a few from his childhood read to him by his mum.
He pulled out one slim picture book. “I used to love this one. The Gruffalo.” Then pushed it back. “I sat here and did my homework. Not a good idea to have a desk looking out onto the garden. It was distracting.”
But beautiful.
“Dad hasn’t changed much. Not even the Star Wars duvet cover.” He chuckled. “Seen enough?”
You need to take a book.
“Oh yes.” He picked out Lie in the Dark by Dan Fesperman and took it downstairs.
Kaden told himself not to hug his dad too tightly when he left, but he was afraid he did.
“Please be careful,” his dad said. “I almost wish you were still with Harris.”
Kaden had his face in his dad’s shoulder so fortunately his expression was hidden. He had time to plaster on a smile before he pulled back.
“Don’t forget to let me know what your Year Sixes think about aliens.”
“I won’t. Have a good night. I’ll see you soon.”
“Bye, Dad. Love you.”
“Love you too.”
Kaden couldn’t remember the last time he’d told his dad he loved him. He should say it more often. If he got the chance. He headed for the bus stop.
Why are you telling everyone about Jalis?
“Because if I don’t survive and you do, my dad will help you. You need to remember his address and phone number as well as mine.”
You sure he won’t jump to the conclusion that I was the one who injured you?
Shit. He hadn’t thought about that. “Just make sure you’re not around if the worst happens.”
I won’t let anything bad happen to you.
Kaden appreciated what Joe said but nothing could be guaranteed.
After an hour with his friends, Kaden was shocked he didn’t feel more drunk. He’d wanted to get drunk, to have that happy, floaty feeling as if everything was right with the world.
Euan put another rum and Coke in front of him. “You’re usually under the table after two of these, you lightweight. This is your fourth. What’s got into you?”
If only he could tell him. But that made him think. Are you stopping me getting drunk?
Yes.
Kaden’s shoulders slumped.
He’d told his friends about Jalis, just dropped it into the conversation when Danny had mentioned a game he’d bought for his PS5.
His friends had accepted the idea of him giving Jalis somewhere to stay without much comment.
But as gay guys, they knew just how bad life could be in countries like Afghanistan.
Not that they’d have done the same. They thought Kaden was a soft touch.
Kaden liked to think that if Joe had really been coming from Afghanistan, then he’d have tried to help him.
Kaden had intended to go home but was persuaded to stay for the pub quiz. Which they won, thanks to Joe.
“You were on fire, tonight,” Ben slung his arm over Kaden’s shoulder.
“You were!” Euan said. “Since when have you been interested in volcanoes?”
“You should all have known the year Vesuvius erupted.”
“And that Tanzania’s Ol Doinyo Lengai volcano erupts lava that is black but turns white as it cools?” Danny laughed.
“Well, you know now.”
Kaden made his farewells and headed home. His good mood didn’t last. He couldn’t help wondering if he’d be alive this time tomorrow. It was a strange feeling.
I don’t want you to die.
“I know but you have to let me think about the possibility. You too.”
That’s why you’ve spoken to those you love, those who love you.
“Yes, because they’re important. They’re what matters. I don’t want to die but I’m at peace with the possibility.”
Are you frightened? I don’t want you to be frightened.
“Not as much as I thought I might be but then I’m not at the point where you’re coming out of me. I’ll be scared then.”
I’m sorry.
“I know.”
I know I keep saying it, but I have to. Do you forgive me?
“Yes, I forgive you,” Kaden said quietly. “You were scared and desperate. Survival instincts. I understand.”
Thank you for everything you’ve done. I am so lucky you saw my desperation when I was in the tank.
“Tell you what, why don’t we go to the seaside tomorrow morning? We could go on the train to Brighton and from there straight to one of the hospitals in London. You’ve never seen the sea and you should.”
I’d like that.
In bed that night, Kaden knew Joe was trying to soothe him, to make him feel good, but his mind was racing. When Joe made him feel as if he was being held, then finally, he slept.