Chapter 12 #2
“Forced something into your mouth. Maybe to stop you calling out. Perhaps a piece of cloth or a handful of paper. He pushed it too far, then came to his senses, pulled it out and ran. He didn’t think to stop and rob you.
You were so traumatised by his actions that your brain cut off all memories of the last few weeks. ”
“But what were we doing in the hospital?”
“Maybe he needed help and you took him there. Or pretended he needed help. Or maybe he regretted hurting you and he took you to the hospital, left you in the toilet and pulled the emergency cord.”
Kaden’s head ached. It hurt to think.
“I still don’t understand how or why I learned Pashto. Or how I did it so quickly.”
“I think Alistair is right. Just be patient about remembering. Give yourself time. The more anxious you are, the harder it will be.”
He ate some of the risotto his dad put in front of him, but not a lot.
“No lying down. If you feel you’re going to go to sleep, you have to stay sitting up.”
His dad put a nature programme on the TV but Kaden couldn’t concentrate.
When, eventually, he went to bed, he dreamed of a strange creature with claws and wings. Yet he wasn’t frightened. The monster was his friend.
~~~
Joe crept out of the hospital in the early hours of the morning.
He still couldn’t tie his laces. Cameras would have seen him leave, seen him go into that bathroom on the third floor.
He accepted that. Some things couldn’t be helped.
Though no one would have seen him get the documents from behind the sink.
He had his hood up and his face down, just as Kaden had done when they’d come here.
Joe couldn’t move quickly, but the more he walked, the more comfortable he felt about keeping his balance.
What he wasn’t comfortable about was what to do now. The plan had been simple: ask for asylum, attend an interview, offer Kaden’s proof of address, which would give Joe safety and a future. One he hoped would be with Kaden.
But plans depended on memory. If Kaden didn’t remember him, one phone call could undo everything.
On the other hand, Joe could follow a different path and tell the authorities he knew no one. That would lead to an interview, detention, a future he’d have a longer wait for, but a future none the less. Except one without Kaden. Probably.
Joe shuddered. This felt like the hardest decision he’d ever made. He didn’t want to walk away from Kaden. He’d promised not to.
He thought it more than likely Kaden’s dad had taken him to his house. He loved Kaden and would want to look after him. If Joe could just see Kaden, talk to him, then maybe he’d remember. His decision was made. That’s where he’d go.
The journey took hours. Wrong buses. Missed stops.
Lots of resting. Too much walking using uncooperative muscles.
He used the money Kaden had given him to buy food and drink, but his energy levels were low.
Rain had soaked his clothes and his trainers.
He was exhausted, wet and miserable. At one point, he found himself missing the transport systems on his own planet, then immediately hated himself for the thought.
He had to concentrate on seeing Kaden soon. Every step he walked, took him closer.
As he finally neared the house, his heart began to pound.
Kaden was there. Joe felt an echo, a pull from the fragment he’d left inside him.
It was acting as… Well, not a beacon. Not exactly.
Just a presence. Which made him wonder if his presence could be detected too.
He believed no rescue ship would be sent, but it was possible others of his species would come eventually.
A worry he’d keep to himself. It wasn’t fair to burden Kaden with it.
He knocked on the door.
Kaden opened it and looked shocked and confused, then worried and alarmed. None of which was reassuring. No smile appeared on his face.
“You were in the hospital,” Kaden said.
Joe was pleased Kaden could speak. “Yes.”
“What are you doing here?”
“My name is…Jalis.” He wanted Kaden to remember he was Joe.
Something flickered across Kaden’s face. Surprise? Fear? But recognition refused to bloom and Joe swallowed hard.
“You’re from Afghanistan.”
Was that a memory? “Well… Yes and no.”
“You better come in.”
Inside, the warmth hit Joe like a wave, but soaked to the bone, he immediately felt colder. He followed Kaden through to the large main room.
“You’re shivering,” Kaden said. “Take off your hoodie. There’s a blanket in that basket. Would you like a hot drink?”
“Yes, please.”
“Coffee?”
“Just like you take it.”
Kaden stilled. “Which is?”
“Black with a sweetener.”
Suspicion sharpened Kaden’s gaze. “Sit down.”
Joe replaced the hoodie with a blanket, kicked off the wet trainers, one plus of not being able to tie laces, and perched on the stool.
The granite island sat between them like a barricade.
It hurt more than he expected. He’d wanted Kaden to pull him into his arms. They’d achieved a miracle between them and Joe wanted Kaden to know that.
“How’s your throat?” he asked.
Kaden’s eyes snapped up. “Is that because of you?”
Joe pressed his lips together. Why did I start with that?
“And there’s my answer,” Kaden said. “Oh my God. What did you do?”
“Does it feel better?”
“Yes. Much.” But Kaden had barked the words.
At least what Joe had done had worked and Kaden’s heart was now fully protected again.
He forced himself to speak. “I could tell you what happened from the moment we met, but I want you to remember. My name is Jalis but I have another name too. I’d like you to remember it.
I promise I never intended to hurt you. I am so sorry.
If you don’t want to remember and prefer me gone, then I’ll leave. ”
Joe hoped Kaden was desperate to remember.
Kaden slid the coffee across. Joe wrapped his cold hands around the mug. “Thank you.”
“I know what I’ve been told. I don’t remember a Jalis.
I’d be telling you to get out now but my dad told me about you.
” His voice cracked. “You seem to know me far too well. I didn’t drink coffee in the hospital.
I might have told you how I take it. My dad told me you’re from Afghanistan and that we played online on our PS4s.
But I don’t remember doing that. You’ve come across the Channel to ask for asylum.
You said you were gay. I said you could live with me.
I assume you taught me Pashto. Though how I learnt so quickly I have no clue. Very little of that makes sense to me.”
Joe nodded. “You’re going to find some of what I tell you hard to accept but we’ve never played online.
I did teach you Pashto. Or rather we learned it together.
I’m not from Afghanistan, but need to claim I am.
Yes, I’m gay and I want to ask for asylum and live with you. You wanted me to live with you.”
Kaden sagged. “I don’t understand.
Joe hoped that something he’d say would trigger a memory that would in turn cause the rest to avalanche into place. If he just outright told Kaden he was an alien who’d forced his way into, then out of his body, Kaden would make him leave.
Kaden carried his coffee over to the couch and sat down. Joe followed and sat opposite, pulling the blanket closer around him. He was still cold. He had to tread a careful line. The last thing he wanted to do was freak Kaden out.
“I think the hospital were worried about the two of us. They thought I might have hurt you.”
Kaden huffed.
“They were right. I did, but they wouldn’t have understood what happened. I couldn’t speak, nor could I walk.” He gave a quiet chuckle. “I’ve learned now.”
“Learned?”
“Yes.”
Kaden frowned.
“The doctors who spoke to me, asked if I knew you. They said they were going to check the CCTV to see if they could see us arriving together.”
“Did we?” Kaden asked.
“Yes and no.” Please remember! “They’ll think we didn’t.
They won’t find me entering the hospital on any camera, but they’ll see you coming in on your own.
They will see me leaving in the early hours of this morning.
I could answer all of their questions but they won’t believe me if I tell the truth. ” Neither will you.
Kaden looked bewildered. “Have you claimed asylum?”
“Not yet. I wanted to be sure you were all right. If you’d not been here, I’d have gone to your bedsit to look for you.”
Kaden widened his eyes. “You know where it is? Oh God, how do you even know where my dad lives?”
“I’ve been here before—sort of. And I’ve been to your bedsit.” Joe held up his backpack. “Recognise this?”
“It looks like an old one of mine.”
“It was yours. And the clothes I’m wearing.”
Kaden’s mouth dropped open. He got up and went to get the hoodie. When he looked at the label, he gasped. “What the hell? This is crazy.”
“Sit down.” Joe offered Kaden the letter he’d signed and the utility bill.
Kaden read the letter, then looked across at him. “I don’t remember writing this. If you’re not from Afghanistan, why is it needed?” He tipped his head and massaged the back of his neck. “I wish I remembered. When did we first meet?”
“At Lixian.”
“Lixian? Christ. That was…”
Joe waited and hoped, but he could see that Kaden was struggling. How could he help him remember? He leaned forward, desperation bleeding through his restraint. A few more hints might work.
“Your bedroom is upstairs. On the right. Dark blue curtains. Star Wars duvet. You showed me The Gruffalo. Your mum read it to you when you couldn’t sleep.
You keep another children’s book beside it.
Peace at Last. The last time you came here, you took a thriller called Lie in the Dark back to your bedsit.
Though, I suppose you won’t remember doing that. ”
Kaden stared at him, his breathing shallow. “I brought you here?”
“Yes.”
“You met my dad?”
“In a way.”
A phone rang. Kaden pulled it from his pocket and flinched.
“Speak of the devil. Hi… Yes, I’m fine… Oh, have they?
… Tell them to call me… You did? Dad, when I came the other night, did I take a book away with me?
” He paled. “And I came on my own? I didn’t bring…
Yes, I realise that was a stupid question but…
Okay. Bye… No, I’m fine. Honestly. I’ll see you later. ”
He turned to Joe. “I don’t understand. And now the police want to talk to me. They’ll be calling any moment. I can’t tell them what I don’t know.”
When the call came, Joe fidgeted while Kaden kept telling them that he didn’t remember. By the time the call ended, his face was grey.
“Like you said, they saw me arrive at the hospital on my own. Saw me go into and out of a couple of bathrooms and finally into the one where I was found. I looked fine at that point. No one was following me. There was no one in the bathroom with me before help arrived.” He paused.
“But you were seen later, leaving it. Hardly able to walk. You collapsed. You left in the early hours. They’re looking for you.
They asked if I’d seen you. I said no. Maybe I should have said yes. ”
“We arrived at the hospital together.”
“How?” Kaden’s laugh came out broken. “Were you deliberately avoiding the cameras?”
“I didn’t need to on the way in. I couldn’t avoid them on the way out.”
Kaden stared at him. “Who are you? W…what are you?”
Joe swallowed. “Someone who might not survive being forgotten.”
He waited.
Hoped.
And Kaden remained in the dark.