Chapter 25
It was another two days before Kaden had a call from Alistair. He put the burner on speaker and tugged Joe down onto the couch.
“Hi,” Kaden said, his heart thumping harder than he’d have liked.
“Good morning. How are you both?”
“Fine.”
“Have you seen the news?”
“No.” Kaden nodded towards Joe’s phone and Joe googled and showed him. Government Minister arrested.
“Oh God,” Kaden whispered.
“On suspicion of selling state secrets,” Alistair added.
“You heard what you thought you were going to hear?” Joe asked.
“Yes. There was a raid on his home yesterday. He’s more than done. I’ll keep my promise. You should be hearing from immigration soon. Do they have your new address?”
Shit. “Not yet,” Kaden said. “We were waiting to see what happened.”
“Tell them now.”
Joe tapped into his phone.
“I’d like us to be friends,” Alistair said. “Would you consider still writing that book with me?”
Kaden glanced at Joe and raised his eyebrows. He hadn’t expected that from Alistair. Joe shrugged, which wasn’t much help.
“You’re hesitating. I can understand that, but you’re a talented writer, Kaden. I think we could do well together. Elsie misses you. I miss you too. And Joe.”
Kaden took a deep breath. “You threatened Joe’s security. If we hadn’t managed to get that device in place, where would Joe be now?”
“I wouldn’t have arranged for him to be sent back to Afghanistan—if that is indeed his home country. I did threaten, but I wouldn’t have gone through with it. One word to the press from you and things would have tumbled down. I wouldn’t have taken that risk.”
“We signed the Official Secrets Act,” Kaden said.
“You did. But you’re resourceful. So will you come and see me again?”
Yes Joe mouthed.
“We’ll come,” Kaden said. “But I’m not promising anything.”
“I understand. This time tomorrow? Around ten?”
“Fine.”
“Thank you. And thank you again for a job well done. Bring the camera and the burner.”
Kaden ended the call. “He still doesn’t believe us about Afghanistan.”
“I think he’s not certain, that’s the difference. He can’t prove I’m not from there. I can’t prove I am. But if I’m given the right to remain, it doesn’t matter.”
Kaden nodded. “You sent the address to the immigration service?”
“Yes.”
“So Alistair will know too.”
Joe nodded.
Kaden shrugged. “We wouldn’t have been able to stay off the radar for long.”
“At least Blake was a bad guy.” Joe slid his hand over Kaden’s and threaded their fingers together. “Will he get Coco Pops in prison?”
Kaden laughed. “Probably not.”
“Let’s go out. Do something to celebrate. Show me something in London.”
“I’ve got a better idea than that.”
“That too.” Joe beamed.
“Apart from that.”
But they started with that. They always started with that.
The ninety minutes it took to get there was worth it to see the look on Joe’s face as they stood in front of the venue.
“The Snow Centre?” Joe turned to him, eyes wide. “They sell snow?”
“They sell a snow experience.”
Joe pressed his trembling lips together. “Real snow?”
“Made artificially but yes. We’re going to have a ski lesson.”
“You can’t ski already?”
“No. I thought we could learn together.”
Joe gave a sigh of pleasure. Kaden had noticed that when they did things together and they were new to Kaden, Joe was at his happiest.
After they’d put on all the gear they hired, including the skis, they moved through to the snow area, sliding in small increments, only for Joe to come to a sudden stop right in front of him so that Kaden knocked him forward.
He ended up plastered to Joe’s back with his skis either side of Joe’s.
Kaden shuffled backwards and came up alongside him.
Joe stood with his mouth open staring at the flakes drifting down from the snow cannons.
“Move forwards and they’ll fall on us,” Kaden said.
He watched as Joe slid further, then stopped and turned his head to the falling snow. Kaden joined him.
“It’s beautiful,” Joe whispered.
He pulled off his glove and bent to grab a handful of snow, squeezing it into a small, lumpy ball.
“Wow. Ouch.” He dropped it again. “It’s freezing.”
“That’s snow for you. Cold.”
Joe rolled his eyes and shuffled forward.
“Glide,” Kaden told him. He moved past Joe, sliding one ski after the other, the movement a bit like skating, then stopped and looked over his shoulder.
“I’ve got it,” Joe called.
They managed to make it over to where Mac, the instructor, was waiting— without falling over, so Kaden took that as a win.
Within a short period of time, they were both able to ski down the beginner slope, top to bottom. Having a private lesson for just the two of them had been a good idea even though this was going to be a very expensive day.
He knew Joe was nervous because he didn’t so much ski as narrate a live documentary. But it made Kaden and the instructor grin as Joe held intense negotiations with the snow, the slope, his skis…and occasionally himself. Quietly, but still audible.
“Press, lift, turn. No, no, NO! Outside ski—listen! Lean down the slope.”
The snow hissed softly beneath Kaden’s skis as he skied down, trying to remember everything Mac had said and to not laugh at Joe as he passed him.
“Okay,” Joe muttered. “I’m absolutely not panicking.” A pause. “I am slightly panicking.”
“Pizza!” Kaden called.
Joe awkwardly pushed the tips of his skis inward and slowed. Then moved them apart and went faster.
“Well done,” Mac shouted.
As Kaden watched, Joe went even more quickly, managed a neat turn halfway down and came to a halt at the bottom in a spray of snow. Then he fell over.
When Kaden reached his side, Joe was laughing. He pushed himself to his feet, a broad smile on his face. “Falling doesn’t hurt. This is fun!”
It was.
They pressed up against each other on the train going back. No one sat in their vicinity. Joe had brought drinks and sandwiches and they were quickly consumed.
“Thank you,” Joe said. “That was a very good doing something unexpected day. I want to do it again because there’s so much more to learn. Next time I’ll pay. Maybe we can go on a holiday to somewhere with snow.”
“I’d like that too.”
“We’re going to have a good life, aren’t we?” Joe whispered.
Kaden smiled. “The best.”
There was a pause before Joe spoke again. “Do you regret taking me out of that tank?”
“Absolutely not.”
“Or disposing of the ship?”
“No.”
“I’m glad we crashed.”
“Not we, Joe. Not now. You’re one of us.”
Joe let out a shaky breath and shivered as if he’d just stepped into the sun out of deep shadow.
“You didn’t just save me, you stood with me, offered me a chance of a new life.
” He brushed Kaden’s hair from his eyes.
“I might have lost my wings, but I have new ones now that let me fly in a different way. They’re made of light, and of memory and choice.
You gave them to me. You showed me what love is.
Something that doesn’t hurt, something that keeps you safe at night.
And you gave me a home. I understand now that a home isn’t just walls.
It’s a feeling of comfort and belonging.
That’s the part that matters most. My home is wherever you are. ”
“Until we’re old and grey.”
Joe gasped. “We go grey?”
“Only our hair.” Kaden chuckled. “You’ve seen people with grey hair.”
Joe smiled. “This world is wonderful and strange.”
“It is.”
“It scares me sometimes, thinking of what might have happened to it if…”
Kaden sighed. “We’re already doing a good job of ruining it ourselves. Climate change, burning fossil fuels, biodiversity loss, widespread pollution, overconsumption and greed. I suppose greed is the cause of all of it.”
“Maybe I should do something. Work on one of those problems.”
“Such as?”
“Alternative fuel sources.”
Kaden kissed his cheek. “You think you can come up with something that’s not already been thought of?”
“Maybe. Or a better way to collect and store solar power? Or wind energy? I don’t want this world to fail.
I like it. All of it. The big things and the small.
I like the way people greet animals, even when they can’t answer back.
I like that people apologise when it’s not even their fault.
I like snow and rain and sunshine. I like the way lights come on one by one at dusk.
I like being inside with you and cuddling together.
I like the way this planet looks from space. ”
Kaden watched him carefully. Joe shone when he talked like this. “Be careful who you say that last part to!”
Joe laughed. “I like how people take the trouble to create things that aren’t needed for survival but bring great joy.
Music, paintings, sculptures, stories, drama, dance…
So many different forms of expression. I love the way the past is cherished.
I love your music because it’s imperfect, emotional and irrational.
It makes me tremble and ache and smile. I like laughter.
Real laughter. The kind that catches people off guard and makes them forget themselves for a moment.
The sort of pleasure you give when you perform. ”
He shifted a little closer to Kaden.
“I like how strangers help each other. How a kind stranger once helped a desperate blue blob. How a kind man coped with a monster inside him.”
“Joe!”
“I’ve watched people hold the door for others, gestures so small they barely register and yet they happen all the time, as if there’s a quiet agreement to be kind.
Picking stuff up others have dropped, returning possessions.
Giving money to those who have nothing. Charity work.
Donkey sanctuaries. Rehoming dogs and cats. Cancer research. Endless good things.”
Kaden’s throat had filled up. “And plenty of bad.”
“But so much that is good. I like that the sky is never the same twice, even if it looks it. I like that children search out shapes in the clouds. I’m stunned by how many sorts of clouds there are. One day, I’ll see for myself the oceans of this world and maybe swim in them.”
His fingers brushed lightly against Kaden’s sleeve.
“And I like that people keep trying. Even when everything is difficult or seems impossible. Even when they fail, they try again.”
Kaden smiled. Not always, but he knew what Joe meant.
“And I like you,” Joe said. “You don’t leave when things get complicated.
You tell me the truth, even when it would be easier not to.
I like how you see me as I am now, not what I was made to be.
I like that you’ll argue with me. I like having fun with you.
But if you weren’t here, I wouldn’t feel what I feel for this world. You are my favourite part of it.”
Kaden choked up.
Joe’s voice dropped almost to nothing. “I like the way you make ordinary things feel safe. And I like that when I don’t understand something, you don’t make me feel foolish. You just explain. Or you wait until I get it. I couldn’t have done this without you. I wouldn’t be what I am without you.”
Joe had tears in his eyes now. “This contradictory world is full of fragile, fleeting things and people keep choosing to care about them anyway. You call yourselves flawed. You build and destroy, heal and harm, create beauty and then forget to protect it. You argue over lines drawn in dust. You fear endings so much that you sometimes refuse to begin. But you also hope. Even when logic doesn’t support it and history argues against it.
Even when you have every reason to stop—you continue.
You rebuild. You forgive. Not everyone everywhere, I know, but so many try.
You reach for one another in the dark. Strangers do that.
People care. Do you understand how rare that is? ”
It touched Kaden deeply that Joe had seen all this.
“I really wish my race could have seen what I’ve seen and known this world should be left alone.
To have seen a world they could have learned from.
Loud. Chaotic. Contradictory. And extraordinary.
If I had to go back, I’d say, Don’t touch this world.
Don’t tame it. Don’t take from it. Don’t reduce it to something efficient and predictable and boring.
Because in its imperfection, it has achieved something we never could.
“This world has learned how to love without certainty. And now, so have I. From the moment I chose death over harm, my life was yours. The happiest ending I could ever have imagined.”
Kaden kissed him. Nothing could have stopped him.
“Tickets, please.”
Except that.
He pulled back from Joe and they both laughed.