Chapter 19
Bria
The rain came down like Florida always gave it, at the worst times—thick drops that soaked through everything and still felt like they weren't enough to wash the dirt off your soul.
I had a dream. Or maybe it was a memory. My momma was begging me not to get high, and I pushed her, and she hurt her back. She cried like a baby, but I was too far gone to even be moved by her tears.
I didn't know if it was real or fake. It felt real.
I woke up, and the house that had become my sanctuary suddenly felt suffocating.
Kael was away. I couldn’t look to him for comfort.
Now I sat on the back porch steps in nothing but the thin white nightgown he had left on the bed for me.
It clung to my body now—transparent, sticking to my breasts and the curve of my stomach like a second skin.
Water ran down my face, mixing with the tears I couldn't stop.
I kept thinking about everything I'd done. Not just what I'd done in the dream.
All the times I stole from my parents. The lies I told Maya while dragging her back into the life with me just so I wouldn't be alone in the gutter. The bodies I let use me for a hit. The nights I woke up in strange cars and houses with no memory of how I got there.
Maya kept telling me making amends would help me stay clean. "You gotta face it, Bria. Feel it. Then let it go."
But every time I tried to face it, the shame hit so hard my skin itched. My teeth ached. That familiar desire crawled up my spine and whispered… just one hit. Just enough to quiet the noise. I wanted it so bad I could taste the chemical burn in the back of my throat.
I hugged my knees tighter, rocking slowly as the rain pounded the mangroves.
"I'm so fucking tired," I whispered to nobody. "I don't deserve to be here. I don't deserve him doing all this for me."
I heard footsteps.
I didn't look up. I already knew it was him.
Kael stopped a few feet away, rain plastering his black shirt to his chest and shoulders. He didn't say anything at first. Just stood there watching me like he was deciding whether to drag me inside or let me drown in my own head for a little longer.
"Bunny."
His voice was low. I shivered even though the rain was warm.
"Maya said if I make amends and face what I did, I’d get better. But every time I do… I just wanna get high. I wanna disappear."
Kael stepped closer, his boots splashing in the water. He crouched in front of me, big hands resting on my wet knees. Rain dripped from his lashes.
"Don't do this to yourself, Bria. You're getting better, one step at a time."
I laughed, feeling all the wet brokenness of my physical and emotional state. "Better? I'm out here in the rain like a crazy person. I'm itching for a high just to take the edge off these emotions."
He tilted his head. "I know what can make you feel high, little rabbit. Without the poison."
Before I could ask what he meant, he stood, pulled me up with him, and walked me over to the heavy wooden patio chairs under the covered part of the porch.
He bent me over the back of one without a word—his grip firm, almost bruising on my hips, shoving my stomach down against the cool wood. My wet nightgown rode up my thighs.
"Kael—"
"Shh." His hands shoved the soaked white fabric up to my waist. Cool air hit my bare skin. I was already wet.
He dropped to his knees and buried his face between my legs.
No teasing. His tongue dragged hard from my clit down, like he was greedy for it.
He spread my cheeks wide with both hands and ate me like he was pissed off at my shame—tongue fucking deep inside me, sucking my clit hard enough to make my toes curl.
I gripped the chair, moaning loud into the rain as he shoved two thick fingers into me without warning, pumping them fast while his mouth worked me over.
"Fuck—Kael…" I pushed back against his face, grinding like I was desperate. He growled against me and smacked my ass hard, the sting cutting through the pleasure.
He didn't let up. He sucked my clit harder, fingers curling perfectly until I came with a broken cry, thighs shaking, wetness spilling all over his face and the nightgown.
I tried to turn, reaching back for his belt. "Please… I want you. Let me—"
He stood fast, grabbed my wrists, and pinned them to the chair with one hand. His chest slammed against my back, hard against my ass. Rain dripped off him onto my skin.
"Not yet," he said against my ear, voice low and rough.
"You're not ready. But when you are… I'm going to bend you over every surface in this house and fuck you until you can't walk.
I'm going to bury my dick so deep down your throat you choke on it.
I'll have you riding me for hours, creaming all over my dick while I make you scream my name.
I'm going to own every hole, Bunny. And you're going to thank me for it. "
I whimpered. "I want it right now."
He didn't answer with words. He scooped me up, threw me over his shoulder, and carried me inside like a sack.
In the bathroom, he stepped straight into the shower fully clothed, set me on my feet, and yanked the soaked nightgown off me.
His hands were still rough as he washed me—scrubbing my skin, gripping my hips and tits like he wanted to leave marks, but forcing himself to stop.
I leaned into his chest, feeling his body pressed against me, ignored.
"You really not gon' fuck me?" I whispered, half laughing, half crying.
He tilted my chin up, eyes dark. "Not tonight." His jaw flexed. "You said you needed the edge taken off. It worked, didn't it?"
I nodded.
He held me under the water, hands tight on my body, and I could tell he was fighting against the part of him that clearly wanted to bend me over again and take what he wanted.
I stood there shaking, my lips tucked in my mouth, wondering if I would survive his restraint.