Chapter 12
Twelve
WILLOW
Ipicked at the skin on my cuticles, watching the city lights reflect off the river. Torin drove while Aidan sat silently in the passenger seat, his hand reaching out for Torin’s, making my brows raise. If I hadn’t been so distracted, my curiosity would have gotten the better of me.
How long had Kaelen’s brother and my shadow been seeing each other?
Instead, my mind raced, every horrible scenario playing out like a movie. How long before Kaelen’s mask fell? Now that I had accepted his offer, it was only a matter of time. While I panicked, my omega mewled, sated and pleased with our choice in alpha.
Deep down, I wanted to be as content as my omega was, but being complacent would only get me hurt.
One way or another.
My fingers closed around the sapphire, holding it in place. The smooth gem anchored me to the present. For too long, I had distanced myself from what I craved. I could blame my omega all I wanted, but the truth was, I wanted it to.
Some omegas found relationships with betas fulfilling.
I didn’t.
Every time I tried, it did nothing to heal the icy space where my heart was.
Nothing did.
Until I met Kaelen.
It was like the sun peeking through cloudy skies for the first time in years. I almost hadn’t realized how much darkness I kept myself in until then—when his scent calmed my ever-present, prickling fear.
It was terrifying how certain my omega was that he was our alpha. Within the first few minutes alone with him, she knew. Maybe someday I would have that certainty too. Kaelen already seemed to. I hoped he would be patient with me.
I had time. We were only courting. Most courtships lasted at least a year or more. I could take things at my own pace. I trusted he wouldn’t rush me.
After I begged him during my heat to knot to me, I knew he was different. Any other alpha would have joined me in my nest, taking my omega’s pleas as consent enough.
Yet, he didn’t.
I vaguely remember the pain etched on his face when he asked Aileen to take care of me. He fought every alpha impulse to claim and protect.
Callused fingers brushed over my thigh, slipping under the slit of my dress and palming my leg. The electrifying touch snapped me from my musing, my heart galloping.
“Deep breath, Willow. You’re safe with me. I promise,” Kaelen murmured, stroking the sensitive skin, sending a jolt of pleasure to my center. “Have you ever been to a casino before?”
“Are you trying to distract me?”
“Is it working?”
“Yes,” I said, secretly loving that he was already attuned with my needs. “And no, I’ve never been gambling. Do people usually get this dressed up to throw away their money?”
“At my casino, yes. It is exclusive and underground. Every person who steps foot through the door is vetted before being allowed in.”
The car stopped in front of a rowdy pub lined with patrons in Sox gear. My eyes flicked to Kaelen, my confusion apparently evident on my face.
“Not everything is as it seems.”
Without another word, he threaded his fingers through mine, helping me out of the sedan as Torin opened the door. He stroked the gland on the inside of my wrist, making me shiver.
The streets were loud with the sounds of blaring car horns and distant shouts. Kalen tucked me into his side like I was something precious to be hidden away from the world.
And for a minute, I actually believed it.
Inside the pub, cheers erupted at our entrance. Beer sloshed over overfilled glasses as a sea of people clad in Red Sox garb shouted at the TVs mounted on the walls. Somebody had hit a walk-off home run, and the pub was devolving into chaos around them.
Kaelen hugged me tighter, his massive palm splayed across the span of my ribs as he maneuvered us toward an unassuming door behind the bar. A bleached-blonde beta with long, tanned legs and perky tits slung drinks across the bar, easily fending off handsy, drunk men.
“Mr. Finnegan,” she said with a thick Irish lilt, her eyes widening when she caught me tucked under his arm. “And who is this pretty thing?”
A possessive flare overpowered him, even if any real malice was lacking in his gaze. This woman either had a death wish or knew how to push Kaelen’s buttons without going too far.
“Carmen,” he grumbled, annoyed by her amusement. “This is Willow.”
“Pleasure,” she said, dipping her chin before cursing at a guy trying to climb the bar. “Maybe you can keep him in line. Have fun tonight, Willow.”
Before I could talk to her, Kaelen steered me out of the way of a group of screaming men.
“Who was that?”
“Carmen. She runs all our legitimate pubs throughout the city. Even on her best days, she’s bothersome.”
“Then why does she work for you?”
“Because she’s tough as nails. Doesn’t take any bullshite from anyone, and above all, is discreet. She knows how to balance the front of house with the silent businesses in the background. She is also my cousin on my ma’s side. So I’m stuck with her, like it or not.”
While he rubbed a slow circle on my hip, he pressed his other hand to a scanner by the door.
It lit up in a bright shade of green as the sound of a lock clicking echoed over the din of the bar.
Kaelen escorted me over the threshold into a dimly lit hallway that eerily reminded me of those last walks I saw death row inmates take in movies.
My pulse jumped. My fingers grew cold, and I hated how quickly I was plunged into a fake reality.
Anxiety knotted in my chest, making me believe things that weren’t true.
I trusted Kaelen as much as I worried it was a mistake.
I felt the thrum of it in my heart. Unfortunately, my mind played tricks on me, not allowing me to have joy.
It had to be too good to be true.
At least that’s what my traitorous thoughts said. I didn’t deserve happiness or peace. So something must have been wrong.
“Willow?” he said, his rich Irish lilt cutting through my insidious musings. “Speak to me.”
The command in his voice teetered on the edge of a bark. It should have made the hairs on my skin prickle, but it didn’t. His scent thickened around us. The blend immediately calmed the tingling in my fingers.
“It’s dark here,” I muttered, trying to make sense of what about the space unnerved me.
It was hard to articulate. I wasn’t exactly sure, but I had a feeling it was an intended consequence, and that the entrance to his casino was designed to do exactly that.
“Are you afraid of the dark?” he asked, no malice in his tone.
“No. It’s just… It’s unnerving. Maybe that’s your intention, to make your guests on edge before they arrive?”
His heavy footsteps stopped as he turned to face me. Rough hands slid along my face, burrowing into the hair at my nape. His thumb rubbed a spot at the base of my skull, making my body go lax.
“Technically, yes. Only a handful of people can open the door that leads to this hall. Anyone wishing to access this location needs to be screened before they’re even allowed entry. I did want to remind them of their place when coming here.”
“And is that what you’re doing? Reminding me of my place, Alpha?”
I hissed his designation, instantly knowing I had made a mistake. The first alpha I put my trust in, and of course it was the head of the Irish mafia. My heart thumped at the catastrophic choice I made. I was trapped.
No one walked away from this decision.
“Never,” he said, his eyes blazing with fury as an auburn strand of hair fell over his brow.
“When will you understand, Willow? I would drop to my knees and worship you at your feet. I do not wish to control you. I want to cherish you, revere you. You are the only person in this world that holds any power over me.”
Emotion choked me as I tried to speak but failed.
I didn’t know what to say. My omega wailed a pathetic sound, angry at me for ruining everything…
again. I was incapable of letting the icy tendrils of fear around my heart melt completely.
I was destined to be alone, moving from one unfulfilling relationship to the next.
Large hands bracketed my hips, holding me steady.
“Mo chroí, I promise, once we get inside, you will feel better. But if you would prefer, we can go home and I will make you dinner and we can watch a movie. I only want you to feel safe in my arms.” His voice dropped to a deadly whisper.
“And I promise that I will gut whoever made you feel like this.”
My blood should have run cold at his words, but instead they emboldened me, steeling my heart and mind, protecting me from myself.
For too long, I had let my fears control me, and I was tired. Even though I wouldn’t admit out loud, I had been looking forward to this ever since Kaelen mentioned taking me out. He spoiled me with pretty dresses and jewels. He wanted to show me off, and I wanted to let him.
“I want to spend our evening out. I’m sorry if I ruined it.”
The only other times I got to get dressed up and shown off were when my father dragged me to some dinner or charity event, and those were the furthest thing from fun. I expected spending time with Kaelen at a casino to be far more enjoyable.
“Never apologize, Willow. You could never ruin anything, my pretty omega. You make everything better.”
He kissed a spot behind my ear, his breath tickling my face. Something primal flashed in his jade eyes, making my insides melt.
At the end of the narrow hall, we arrived in front of a plain door with a towering alpha guarding it. Day-old scruff covered his scarred face, with a gun holstered under his jacket.
“Boss. Miss Sterling,” he grunted, dipping his chin as his eyes lit up. “Enjoy your evening.”
Kaelen leveled an icy stare at the man.
All the color drained from his face. He stepped aside, murmuring an apology before giving us access to an elevator. I saw the briefest flash of fear in his hazel eyes.
A possessive hand pressed to the small of my back, ushering me inside. There was only one option. I pushed the button, pleased at the warmth returning to Kaelen’s features. A tenderness only I ever got to see.
“What did he do?” I asked as the elevator descended lower than I thought possible.
“He thought he could have what’s mine. No one. Especially one of my men, can be allowed to entertain that thought.”
I wanted to scold him for talking about me like some sort of toy he refused to share, but my omega hissed at me, loving the attention. I bit my lip, realizing I liked it more than I cared to admit. Besides, that alpha wasn’t interested in me. He was being nice.
Sam always told me that alphas were more needy than omegas. They constantly needed reassurance. Usually, I snorted at her, mumbling something about that being ridiculous.
She may not have been too far off.
“I don’t want anyone else,” I said, dragging my nails through his thick beard, grinning at the way his eyes darkened. “I only want you, Alpha.”
He leaned into my touch, breathing deeply into my palm as he held it in place. I dragged the tip of my nose along his jaw, ensuring he smelled of me. A possessive growl rumbled against my skin.
Lips brushed along the skin as he peppered fleeting kisses along my lifeline.
“It’s not you I’m worried about. It’s any alpha with a dick or a pussy who catches a whiff of your pretty scent and thinks they even remotely have a chance with you. Anyone who thinks they can take you from me will find out why I am called The Butcher of Boston.”
My stomach swooped. Not out of fear, but thrilled at the proposition that someone cared about me enough to do such a thing.
Maybe that made me a demon if I was willing to dance with the devil.
Maybe I didn’t care.