Chapter 3 #3
“We did get a lot done. I’ve been putting your name on the deeds as well.
Tomorrow I have an appointment with the banker, Mr. Bean, at eleven thirty.
He said it should only take about an hour to get things signed.
Are you sure you want to do that?” Kahana said that he loved her and wanted her to have everything that he did.
“Same with me, but I never knew that my grandda was so diverse in things. He had his hand in just about everything, I believe.”
“He does have a vast portfolio. Axel said that he took good notes on things that he had invested in as well. He said that he’s learning things from this estate that he never would have thought of before.
” She told him about the pictures she was getting with each file.
“That’s a wonderful idea, too. This firm is living up to its reputation very well.
That’s probably why the state chose them to go over the accounts when Phil got into them.
Have they found anything that he messed with that is going to cost a great deal of money to fix? ”
“Not so far, they haven’t. But I think they’re about finished with it.
They had thirty days to get it straightened out, and they’re about there now.
I was just telling Axel I’m sure that they’re overwhelmed as much as I am about all the things that came to me.
” He kissed her again. “I’ve been thinking about some of the things that we talked about, and I want to have my grandda’s room cleaned out, and we can share that room.
It’s big enough for the two of us to share.
And there is plenty of closet space for whatever we need in there as well.
I’m not up for the task, so if you know anyone who can do it, please let me know, and I’ll get them started on it right away. ”
There were more questions that she had for Kahana, one of them being about sex.
If she was honest about it, she was terrified to have sex with her heart still on the mend.
She still remembered that pain like it was yesterday and didn’t want to go through that again.
But she didn’t know how to bring it up without sounding whiny.
She wanted to sleep with him and to make love to him, but she didn’t want to die in the process.
There had to be some way to talk to someone about it.
She figured that today might be the day before they got too much more into getting things settled between them.
“Kahana, we never talked about sex.” He smiled at her, and she had to turn away. “I mean, I want to make love with you, but I’m…is there anything that I should do differently during sex?”
“What do you mean?” She knew that he would need more details and was frustrated when she couldn’t put her finger on just how to ask him. “Are you asking me if you can have sex now that you’ve had a heart attack?”
“Yes.” She was so relieved that she nearly passed out.
As it was, she had to sit down with her head between her knees before she did.
“I’ve been trying to ask you about it for days now, but didn’t know how.
Then I was going to ask my heart doctor, but he always seems so rushed when he’s talking to me.
I usually take notes with me, and I can barely get through them before he’s off and running again.
I like him, I do, but he’s not much help when I have lots of questions.
I usually want to scream at him to slow down before he has a heart attack of his own. ”
She saw his feet when she lifted her head a little, but didn’t rise up. Being embarrassed made her do silly things, and hiding herself away like she was usually made her uncomfortable, too. Debra sat up when he asked her to.
“First of all, that’s a good question, and shame on your doctor for not taking the time to talk to you.
That should be his number one priority to talk to you about your questions and concerns.
” She said she wasn’t really complaining about him.
“You should. And while I won’t have a talk with him, I’m going to see if that’s the norm for his office. I should hope not.”
“His nurses usually answer all my questions when I think about them. I do take notes with things on them, but I get so flustered when I have to chase down my answers. I guess I am complaining about him. I didn’t mean to.
” Kahana said it was all right that she should complain about someone who wasn’t helping her.
“Thanks. I thought it was all about me. And perhaps he didn’t think that I’m important enough to sit and talk to.
Do you suppose he’d talk to me if I demanded him to sit down? ”
“I don’t know him all that well. I just know that he’s one of the leading heart specialists in the country.
That doesn’t mean he has a good bedside manner, but he is good at what he does.
” She asked him about his manner around patients.
“I do find myself rushing through talking to them at times, but when I do, I usually go back and talk to them more. It’s a habit that I’m trying to break, seeing patients in a rush. ”
“So what about sex?” He told her that, sadly, she’d have to talk to her heart doctor.
“I thought you’d say that. I made myself an appointment for tomorrow morning.
I asked for two slots so that I could get some of the other questions that I have answered.
Like, sometimes I’m dizzy when I wake up.
That could be normal, but I don’t know.”
“Take your list and tell him when he comes into the room that you have a list of questions you need answers to. Also, tell his nurse so that she can give him a heads up when he comes to see you. Don’t skip around on your questions.
Ask him all of them and get answers until you’re clear about them.
Don’t just think you understand. You need to understand and make it clear to him.
If he still wants to fob you off, then we’ll find another doctor who will answer everything for you.
” She asked what happens if he doesn’t want to be her doctor anymore.
“Then he won’t be. There are other specialists around that can help you and some that would be willing to answer your questions so that you don’t feel rushed or put off. ”
They talked about her list, and she realized that she was asking the same question over again in some of them.
Kahana helped her sort through them and was even able to answer a couple of her concerns himself.
He said that while he wasn’t a heart doctor, he did know symptoms about the heart that she could use.
In the end, she told him how much better she felt just knowing that it wasn’t her who needed answers, but that most people did when they suffered a heart attack like she had.
When he left her to deliver a baby, she could almost feel jealous of him bringing a new life into the world.
She laid down on her bed and thought about her morning tomorrow and wondered if she should have just made one appointment a day.
She didn’t want to get stressed out again and was working very hard on not being that way, but there were times when she just wanted to say fuck it and do what needed to be done to get it finished.
Then she’d remember the pain, and that would have her pacing herself again.
When people said that stress was a killer, they really had no idea how true that was.
She didn’t want to die and didn’t want to suffer another attack either.
And it was going to be up to her that it didn’t happen.