Chapter 5
Karla
“This is humiliating,” I whispered, hunched over, trying my hardest to make myself appear small as Ellie walked me into school the next morning.
I was almost certain Dad would fire Ellie, but for some reason he kept her as our nanny.
Not only that, but he made her walk me into the school building and instructed her to take me directly to my classroom, which felt like the ultimate punishment.
I was mortified as preppy, beautiful Ellie walked me through the hallways to my first chamber of hell.
“You should’ve thought about this before planning a make-believe trip,” Ellie replied with a smile. What a stupid smile it was.
“Yeah, whatever. Can you go now? This is so uncool, Eleanor.”
She kept smiling, even though I’d used her government name. “No. First we are going to stop by the front office to clear up a few things.”
“Everything has been cleared up,” a voice said in front of us. I looked up to see a face I didn’t expect to witness walking out of the main office.
“Dad,” I said breathlessly. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m doing my job as a parent,” he replied.
“That’s a first,” I sarcastically replied. Guilt hit me instantly as the words slipped out. Why are you such a jerk, Karla?
He didn’t seem moved by my words. It appeared the vulnerable version of him from last night hadn’t remained. He was back to his strong, tough persona. I kind of missed his softness. I wondered if he missed mine.
Dad cleared his throat. “Everything’s in order. Plus, I signed you up for some extra credit in every class.”
“Extra credit?!” I exclaimed. “But I did the homework!”
“Yes, you did—after lying for weeks to do God knows what on your own time. You made a choice the moment you forged that paperwork, Karla. Now I’m making a choice to keep you from thinking about ever doing something like that again. Unless . . .”
“Unless what?” I asked.
“Unless you tell me where you’ve been going every day.”
I felt my eyes get teary, and I shook my head, trying to send the tears away. “This is bullshit!”
“Language,” Ellie and Dad said in unison. They glanced at each other for a split second. Ellie smiled. Dad didn’t. Figures.
I grumbled. “Don’t you have a meeting or some crap to get to? Can’t you just leave me alone?”
Dad glanced at his watch. “As a matter of fact, I do.” He turned to Ellie. “Thank you for bringing her to school today, Eleanor. If you could please take her to room 102 for her science class, that would be great.”
“Of course, Mr. East,” Ellie replied, her voice dripping with sweetness. What a suck-up.
After Dad headed to work, I was left once again with conflicting emotions, unable to get a grip on what I should’ve been feeling. I murmured to myself as Ellie walked me to class. “I hate when he does that.”
“Does what?”
“Tries to act like my father.”
“He is your father.”
“You’ve been with us for almost two months now. So tell me how much parenting you’ve actually seen.”
Ellie hesitated and didn’t answer. Right as she was about to drop me off at my class, a wave of shock hit me as I heard my name being called. “Hey, Karla.” I looked up to see Brian standing in front of me with a big smile on his face. My heart instantly went into overdrive.
Brian and I were amazing friends for the longest time. He was one of my favorite people and the person I’d missed the most since life got dark for me.
“A few people thought you switched schools,” he said.
I shifted on my heels and couldn’t make eye contact with him as I rubbed my left hand up and down my right arm. “Yeah.”
Brian stepped in closer. My heart beat faster. “Have you been doing OK?” he asked with narrowed eyes.
Before I could reply, Rosie called out toward Brian. Rosie had been my second-closest friend. After Missy, of course. Rosie was the only one who knew about the small crush I had on Brian, too. It was our little secret.
“Brian! What are you doing?” Rosie called out.
He shrugged. “Nothing. I just thought I’d say hi. Did you see Karla’s back?”
Rosie’s eyes fell in line with my own, and she looked me up and down with a look of disgust. That hurt more than it should’ve. I thought I was getting better at not letting people get to me, but after the emotional night, it appeared my heart was still fragile.
“Saw it, don’t care,” Rosie muttered. “Now get away from that thing and walk me to class,” she growled.
Ever since Missy’s new senior boyfriend, Colton, made it cool to dislike me, Rosie was quick to jump on the hate train.
Though it always felt as if she was a little jealous of how close Missy and I had been.
Now it seemed like Rosie went out of her way to make sure I wasn’t invited back into our friend group.
It was like she’d been waiting for the chance to turn against me.
“What do you mean that thing?!” Ellie snapped, a rage building up inside her that I didn’t think was possible.
She looked livid as she took a giant step in the direction of Rosie.
For a split second, she seemed to forget that she was the adult in the situation.
Maybe Dad didn’t fire her for dropping me off at the wrong place for weeks, but he’d definitely fire her if she beat up a high school student.
And I couldn’t have that happen. I needed Ellie to stay around to keep Lorelai seminormal. Even though we didn’t need a nanny.
“Don’t, Ellie,” I said, tugging on her arm.
Ellie glanced over to me with eyes packed with rage. “But—”
“Please,” I whispered. “Don’t.”
Brian frowned. “Well, I guess we’ll catch up later, Karla.”
“Probably not,” I dryly replied before I started walking away.
“Who are they?” Ellie questioned as she followed me.
“Ghosts of Karla’s past,” I murmured as I entered my science class. “See you later.”
Ellie went on her way, and I dragged myself to my seat.
My body felt extra tired that morning, but I tried not to overthink the pain shooting through my system.
Having pain that people could witness, like my limping, was hard.
But it was even harder having chronic pain that flared up constantly and interfered with my daily activities.
The internal pain was so much deeper than the external.
As I took my seat, I fell back against my chair, feeling out of breath. I wondered if other kids were breathless after only walking for a short period of time, too.
“Well, well, well,” a voice said from behind me. A pencil tapped against my right shoulder. I turned around to see Ash smirking my way. “It’s about time you showed up to class.”
* * *
Science class was the longest hour of my life. It felt even longer knowing that Ash was staring at the back of my head. The second the bell rang and class ended, I gathered my books and held them to my chest. I wanted to run away as quickly as possible, but my legs wouldn’t allow it.
Stupid legs. Stupid body.
“If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were avoiding me,” Ash said as he followed me out of the classroom.
I grimaced and held my books tighter to my chest. “Why would I avoid you? I don’t even know you.” I glanced quickly in his direction, and for some odd reason, butterflies began to flutter in my stomach.
That was weird.
I looked forward again. “Why are you in my science class if you’re older than me?”
“I got held back a year. Just turned sixteen, though. Why aren’t you in the cemetery? Did you get caught?”
“No. I just desperately missed the high school experience.”
He laughed. “You’re funny.”
“I’m not.” I tried to pick up my speed, and it didn’t work.
Stupid legs. Stupid body.
“What class do you have next?” Ash asked, not picking up on the “leave me alone” cues I was shooting his way.
“Why are you doing this?” I asked, turning around to face him.
He arched an eyebrow. “Doing what?” He was wearing the same worn-out black hoodie I saw him wearing at the cemetery, and his hand was still fidgeting with something in his front pocket.
“Talking to me.” I glanced around the halls, noticing a few people looking at us. Looking at me. I held the books even tighter. “You don’t have to talk to me. People here don’t talk to me.”
His stare narrowed. “Why not?”
“Because, well . . . Look at me,” I said, gesturing to my face.
“I am.”
I sighed. What was this guy’s deal? “Look closely. I’m a freak. People don’t talk to freaks like me.”
He laughed. Yup, he laughed at me. Then he reached into his back pocket, pulled out a pack of Skittles, and poured some into his hand. “You’re funny.”
I grumbled. “I’m not.”
He held his Skittles packet toward me. “Skittle?”
I stared at him blankly for a few beats before starting my slow pace again toward my class.
“All right. Karla isn’t a Skittles girl.
Noted,” he replied, tossing the handful into his mouth.
“More for me.” He chewed his candy and kept walking beside me.
He was new to our school, but it was clear he didn’t understand that it was social suicide to talk to me.
Didn’t he care what other people thought of him?
Sure, Ash was odd in his own ways. He dressed in worn-out clothes and had messy hair, but he wasn’t like me. He wasn’t hideous. Actually, with a slight update to his wardrobe and maybe a freaking comb, he could’ve been . . . handsome.
Oh gosh.
Wait.
He was handsome. Messy hair and all.
Ash was so attractive, and I figured that was what made the idea of him interacting with me so odd.
Ash’s skin was a deep, warm brown, and he had light-brown eyes that made it hard for me to stare at him.
At the same time, it made it hard for me to look away.
His eyes seemed to hold so many stories within them, and for some odd reason, I wanted to read every syllable, every word.
Unlike my eyes, which probably appeared empty, Ash’s were filled with care.
He had kind eyes. Maybe that was why they bothered me so much—they reminded me of my mother.
And whenever I was reminded of her, I missed her.
I missed her every single minute of every single day.
Plus, Ash had long, thick eyelashes that probably made every girl in the world envious of him.
If I wanted eyelashes like his, I would’ve had to apply ten pounds of makeup.
I used to always steal Mom’s makeup and wear it to school.
She knew I was doing it and never called me out on it.
Dad always said I didn’t need makeup to be beautiful, but I just wanted to fit in like all the rest of the girls at our school.
Missy and I used to do our makeup together. She still wore a lot of makeup to school, but I didn’t. The last thing I wanted was to enhance the face that I currently had. If anything, I’d consider wearing a bag over my head to improve my looks.
Ash also had a perfect mouth. Full lips that didn’t always smile, but somehow his nonsmiles felt comforting, too. As if he didn’t have to force a grin in order to showcase that he was content.
Yeah . . . he was so handsome, and well out of my league. Not that he saw me in that way. No guy saw me in that way.
But Brian did say hi to me today.
Gosh, I missed him. I missed my friends.
Especially Missy. It was funny how you could miss people who turned so drastically against you at your lowest point.
It was like missing a flickering memory of something that used to be so great.
How did that happen? How could something so good turn into something so deeply bad?
“Uh, earth to Karla. You still there?” Ash asked, waving his hand in front of my face.
I shook myself from my thoughts and stopped staring at my former friends down the hallway, who seemed to be happy and filled with laughter.
I turned back to Ash. “Sorry. You say something?”
“I said a lot of somethings. I gave you a long story. You weren’t listening.”
I picked up my walking again. “Want to give me the short-story version?”
“Mainly, I wanted to know your favorite candy,” he calmly repeated, “and what made your life so sad.”
I tilted my head as I stared into those light-brown eyes that made my heart find a new pattern of beating. I felt sick from his questions. One was so light, and the other soaked in heaviness.
I wouldn’t answer him, because screw him for being so weird and invasive and, well . . . weird. He was so freaking weird.
My eyes moved from Ash to the classroom toward my left. “Well, this is me.”
He turned to see the door and arched an eyebrow. “You take Spanish?”
No, I don’t. I just need to lie and say this is my classroom, so you’ll leave me alone.
“Yup,” I replied. “I mean, sí.”
Ash smiled. A real, big, wide-toothed grin that made me feel so odd inside. “Bye, Karla. Or, well, adiós, mi amiga.” He shot finger guns my way and made a clever clicking sound as he made the gesture. It was corny. It was cute. Whatever.
I pushed down the smirk that wanted to escape.