Chapter 30
Ash
FROM: BanksAsh@
TO: KarlaEast@
SUBJECT: Happy New Year
Karla,
Happy New Year! I was thinking for the new year we could start a monthly long-distance book club? Maybe we can do video calls to talk about the books. I don’t know. That might be stupid.
Anyway, North Carolina blows, and I miss you.
You were the first person I thought to message for the new year.
Oh, you’re calling right now, let me send this email and say happy new years on the phone, too.
—Ash
P.S. I kind of thought of kissing you at midnight. I won’t say that on the phone, though. Too nervous for that.
* * *
FROM: KarlaEast@
TO: BanksAsh@
DATE: January 1st, 8:00 AM
SUBJECT: Re: Happy New Year
Ash,
I’m just seeing this after waking up dizzy from too much chips and dip last night.
Chicago blows without you.
I visited Rian this morning and told him happy new year for you. I left him a new toy truck, too. Figured he’d like the wheels for the new year. Anyway, I’ll call you later. I’m in charge of making spaghetti for dinner tonight.
—Karla
P.S. I kind of thought of kissing you at midnight, too. I won’t say that later, though. Too nervous for that.
* * *
“What do you want for dinner tonight, mera beta?” Maa asked me as she walked into the door that afternoon.
She no longer worked night shifts since we’d moved to North Carolina.
She also cooked me dinner and ate with me each night.
It seemed like such a small act, but it was important to me.
Maa was finding her path again, and that always involved being in the kitchen.
I brushed my hand under my nose, thinking about Karla and how she’d thought about kissing me at midnight. I’d read her email repeatedly. At least four million and five times.
“Maybe we can have spaghetti tonight,” I mentioned.
Maa arched an eyebrow. “Spaghetti? You never ask for spaghetti.”
“I just had a craving.”
As I ate the pasta, I thought about Karla. After I finished the pasta, I thought about her some more.
* * *
FROM: KarlaEast@
TO: BanksAsh@
DATE: March 9th 8:54 PM
SUBJECT: Bad
I got mad at my therapist, because I told her I didn’t want to talk about how some days are still hard. I called her a name and felt so bad about it. She’s a good person, and she helps me a lot, but sometimes I don’t want help. Sometimes I just want to be sad.
I also failed my math test today. And I tripped on a curb, and now my ankle is swollen and my body hurts. I’m going to take a long hot bath because that’s the only thing that might help the pain. It’s my go-to when I get flare ups.
Anyway.
It’s a shitty day.
Hope yours is better.
Maybe we can FaceTime later, so I don’t feel so bad.
—Karla
P.S. I think it’s great that you want to be an EMT like your father.
I can speak from experience in saying you’re good at saving lives.
I think an apprenticeship would be great for you this summer.
I just wish you were taking it up here, so we could hang out.
That’s just me being selfish. I miss you, but I’m proud of you, too.
P.P.S. I know I’ve said I wanted to be an author, but I’d been thinking lately . . . what if I opened a bookstore instead? I could sell old, used books and records. Books and records that some might see as damaged goods. It might be a stupid dream, but it’s a dream.
* * *
FROM: BanksAsh@
TO: KarlaEast@
DATE: March 9th, 9:30 PM
SUBJECT: Re: Bad
Sorry it was a shitty day. Is your ankle OK? I don’t think I’d like therapy. I wouldn’t want someone asking me about my feelings and why I felt the way I do. My new school sucks, but at least some kids let me eat lunch with them. I think I can manage it a little longer here.
Hey, maybe when I graduate, I can get an EMT job up in Chicago and work with my dad. That would be nice, wouldn’t it?
I’m FaceTiming you right after I send this email.
—Ash
P.S. You would be my favorite bookstore owner.
* * *
FROM: KarlaEast@
TO: BanksAsh@
DATE: March 9th, 9:45 PM
SUBJECT: Re: Re: Bad
And you would be my favorite customer.
—Karla