Chapter 2
Heart beating hard in her chest, Katherine waited for Siaspar to enter the room.
To stop panic from overwhelming her, she thought about her family, and the relief they would feel when they finally received the money she was owed and her father was released.
The thought that she was about to save them brought some balm to her soul for a moment.
Then, inevitably, her mind wandered back to the task ahead.
Siaspar ap Morgan. Sha-sparr. The English called him Jasper, she had noticed, which was easier to say, but she thought it better to use his real name in her mind.
She did not know anything about the man, had not even caught a glimpse of him when he had ridden into Castell y Ddraig’s bailey the other day.
Was he blond or dark? Heavily built or frail as a child?
Of a tempestuous disposition or meek as a lamb?
Lady Malpas had called him a savage, an animal.
What did that mean? Would he prove to be violent? Would he hurt her?
The thought almost had her running to the door.
She stayed where she was. Lady Malpas was in the next room, listening.
What she would do if she realized that Katherine, a lowly servant, had jeopardized the execution of her plans did not bear thinking about.
There was no choice. The marriage had to be legal and binding.
And even if Siaspar was violent, the whole thing would be over in a moment.
Given what the bride and groom thought about each other, it was unlikely that he would linger in his wife’s bed any longer than necessary.
Before dawn the union would be consummated, Lady Malpas would be satisfied and her family would be saved.
As for Katherine, she would be ruined. She would never be able to talk to anyone about what had happened.
Tonight’s dealings would have to remain a secret.
If she got married one day, she would have to explain to her groom why she was not an innocent maid.
What could she say that would not shame her?
Nothing. On second thought, it might be better to simply fake the loss of her maidenhead on her wedding night, for even if she married a man who loved and trusted her, who would believe her outlandish story?
One thing was for sure. She would never tell her parents what had happened. Knowing that she had ruined herself for their sake would be too heavy a burden to bear.
But what if she fell with child after her night with the Welshman?
There would be no recourse. Lady Malpas would not help her and Siaspar would not believe her claim that the baby was his, for which he could not be blamed. If the little scullion he had never met told him she was carrying his child she would be dismissed as a liar, a deluded schemer, a crazed fool.
No. She was stuck in her own nightmare.
A sob escaped Katherine’s throat. She instantly stuffed her head into the pillow for fear Lady Malpas should overhear her distress and come chide her.
A moment later the door opened.
Siaspar.
“Go drapia!” he swore. “’Tis darker than the pit of hell in here!”
It was, which was the whole point. But what if he decided to light a candle? What would Katherine do then? To her relief, he did not protest.
Instead, leaving the door open to make the most of the light of the torch burning in the staircase, he unbuckled his sword belt and started to get undressed.
Katherine watched his frame lit by the distant flames and allowed herself to relax somewhat.
He was tall, lean but well-proportioned, nothing like the deformed man or the burly warrior she had started to convince herself he was.
Heart in her throat, she watched him discard his clothes one by one until he was completely naked.
As planned, she did not utter a single sound during the whole process, which was not difficult, as she was paralyzed with fright.
Once he was undressed, Siaspar closed the door and walked over to her.
He cursed at length in his language when his foot hit the side of the bed, but he offered her no reproach and didn’t ask for any candles to be lit.
It struck Katherine as odd that despite his obvious displeasure—and the discomfort it brought him—he respected his wife’s wishes to be bedded in the dark.
That was a mark of consideration few men would have given their new bride.
“Right, my lady,” he said, sounding weary, a far cry from the lust-filled man she had dreaded to see. “Let’s get this over with.”
He settled next to her, the bed sagging under his weight. This was it. Katherine gripped the sheet under her, praying for courage. A heartbeat later, a hand lifted the hem of her shift, skimming her flesh lightly as it went. She screwed her eyes shut but otherwise stayed completely still.
“My, you’re as cold as a fish,” Siaspar said, almost to himself. “It will be a miracle if I manage to do anything with you lying there like a corpse.”
Well, what else what she supposed to do? Throw herself into his arms?
Without warning, he placed his hand between her thighs.
Despite her promise not to say anything, Katherine could not prevent a gasp and she closed her legs tighter, trapping his fingers perilously close to her intimate folds.
She had to bunch her fists to stop herself from pushing him away.
He let out a frustrated noise but her reaction did not seem to surprise him.
She was behaving just as a reluctant, frightened bride would do and it wasn’t hard to guess that Lady Malpas would have been just as skittish.
Slowly, he ran a finger along her most intimate place, the place no man had ever touched before.
In truth, she had rarely touched it herself, at least with some sensual purpose in mind.
Katherine bit her lip, but despite her apprehension could not help but notice how warm and gentle his touch was.
Far from reassuring her, it only added to her confusion. Was he not supposed to pounce on her?
“Mm, I see that you are no more ready than I am. What a fine pair we make…” His mirthless laugh sliced through the tense silence. “We will have to try something else if I am to do my duty by you.”
He gave another sigh and flopped onto his back.
Katherine’s eyes flew open in surprise. Nothing was going the way she had imagined.
Where was the animal she had been warned against?
Lady Malpas had led her to believe that she would be bedded by a lust-crazed man, only focused on his pleasure, oblivious to her feelings.
But Siaspar seemed even more reluctant than she was to consummate the marriage.
“First, I’ll need to remove your shift,” he said, his deep voice disembodied in the darkness. “Your modesty is misplaced, in this instance. It is pitch dark so I won’t be able to see anything, but I will need some help if I am to get aroused.”
It was a good thing Katherine was not supposed to say a word for she had no idea what she could have replied. Half of the things he was saying did not make sense to her. How would undressing her help matters if he could not see her, and what did he mean by “get aroused?”
Before she had time to ponder any further, he started to gather her shift up. Soon, he had removed the garment completely. They were now both equally naked, equally at a loss. Katherine willed herself still. Now would he pounce?
A hand landed on her breast with unerring accuracy and she heard a soft groan when his fingers closed on her nipple.
This man knew his way around a woman’s body, the dark clearly did not hinder him in any way.
He stroked her with surprising gentleness, then moved to her waist and hip.
After a while he started muttering under his breath in Welsh.
She had no idea what he was saying but suddenly he sounded a lot less irritated.
Then he kissed her other breast and, a moment later, shockingly, closed his mouth around her nipple.
He started to suck, in long, luxurious pulls, taking his time—and the sensation was… indescribable.
Katherine let out a moan. How could she not? Her whole body seemed to have been plunged into warm honey. The hand at her hip kneaded her flesh gently, adding to the delicious sensation. Siaspar carried on in this manner a moment, then moved up to nuzzle at her neck.
So far, the experience had been nothing like the ordeal she had dreaded and Katherine’s diffidence started to melt away.
After a while, Siaspar’s hand found the place between her thighs once more and he seemed satisfied with what he felt there.
She had no idea why that might be, but he gave a grunt and a heartbeat later she felt something hard press against her leg.
Of course, that was what he had meant by “get aroused.” Despite her lack of experience, she knew that men needed to be hard to enter a woman’s body but she’d had no idea that men could will it—or, more pointedly, find it impossible to do it when needed.
She had assumed their bodies were always ready to perform.
Now that she thought about it, she realized how silly that was.
Of course, they could not command their desire for a woman, just like women could not command theirs for a man they felt nothing toward.
“That’s better,” he said gruffly.
It seemed that stroking and suckling her had awoken his need for her. And, in truth, it had also awoken hers. This had to be what he had felt between her legs. She did feel different, slightly swollen and tingly. Ready to be possessed.
“I’m going to take you now.”
With those words, Siaspar came to position himself above her, the woman he thought to be his wife.
He never tried to kiss her, for which Katherine was grateful.
This was not love and she was glad he had the honesty not to pretend otherwise.
Instead, he buried his head in the crook of her neck and resumed his delicious nuzzling.
Then the hardness he had coaxed out of himself came to probe at her entrance.