Chapter 5 #3
Had she not been waiting for the message confirming that her family had been paid the money she was owed, Katherine would have left Castell y Ddraig days ago.
With luck, she should soon get the letter.
Of course, that didn’t change the fact that she was petrified at the idea of getting back to her family on her own.
Traveling alone would be a dangerous endeavor, undoubtedly.
Perhaps she could ask Mel if she had a friend or cousin who could escort her?
“Why did you come to me?”
No man had ever looked more forbidding than Siaspar did in this instant.
Behind him, a torch was burning, casting a golden glow over his left cheek, leaving his right side in darkness.
In any other circumstances, Katherine might have taken the time to enjoy the effect it created and allowed herself a moment to bask in his beauty.
Because, undeniably, his proximity was intoxicating.
His masculine scent, so reminiscent of their two nights together, made her wish he would sweep her into his arms the way he had done on their second time together, when he had lifted her off her feet to carry her to bed.
Yes, shocking as it was, she wanted him to take her into his arms. This was the only explanation for the tingling in her body.
Was this the real reason why she had chosen to meet with him in this secluded spot where no one would see them? Because she was hoping that away from prying eyes, he would not resist the temptation to make love to her again?
If she were, she was destined to be disappointed. Despite the near darkness she could see that his eyes were glinting—in ire, nor desire. Siaspar looked like a man about to shake her in anger, rather than make love to her.
“I just told you why I came,” she said, realizing too late that she had not answered his question. “I wanted to tell you I was not carrying your child.”
“It seems to me that you have missed an opportunity, my sweet.”
She blinked. Had he really called her my sweet? It could not be, as he was very obviously angry with her.
“An opportunity? How s-so?” she stammered. What was he talking about?
“To remain silent.”
“I don’t understand, my lord.”
“Then you must be exceptionally na?ve. Allow me to explain. You spent two nights in my arms, and both nights I reached my release inside you.” Katherine was sure that, this time, the gleam in his eyes was pure lust. Was he remembering the rush of pleasure he had experienced in her arms?
“Because of that, many a woman of your standing would have made sure to present me with a child nine months later.”
“But how? As I said, I did not fall with child. There is no going around that fact.”
“You did not fall with a child of my loins,” he specified with a wolfish smile. “But a determined woman would have made sure she did find herself with a child, so as to make the most of this unhoped-for opportunity. She would have found someone to remedy her lord’s failure to make her with child.”
Katherine was silent for a moment, while her mind absorbed what he had said.
“Are you saying that you expected me to sleep with the grooms, the stone masons, your squire even, from the moment you bedded me in order to make sure that I would be in a position to come to you in nine months with a baby in my arms and gain some material advantage from you?” She was both incredulous and offended by the supposition.
“That is a masterly summary of the situation. For someone who feigned not to understand what I meant, you quickly caught on. Maybe you are not so na?ve after all.”
“No, just only incredibly stupid not to have thought of taking advantage of you,” she spat out, forgetting her place in her outrage. How dare he accuse her of such deviousness?
“Your words not mine.” The little bow he gave was nothing less than an insult. “But, yes. Incredibly stupid. Or incurably honest.”
“I am honest, whatever you may think. I never set out to reap any benefit from the situation. As I have told you, I was not the one who decided to take your wife’s place in her bed.”
“Maybe not,” he conceded with a graceful tilt of the head. “But you might have decided that there was something to be won out of the whole debacle. I cannot even say that I would blame you. We all have to make our way in the world. Don’t I know it.”
“Well, I did not exploit the situation.”
“No, you did not. That was your mistake.”
“No. My mistake was to come and see you, believing it my duty to reassure you, and trusting that you would understand my motives for doing so and trust that I was honest.”
Katherine could barely speak for anger and disillusion. She had thought that coming to see Siaspar would convince him she was not in league with Lady Malpas. It had not. It had only given him an opportunity to mock her.
“I will leave you now, my lord,” she said, feeling more dejected than ever.
“Yes. I think that is for the best.” But before she could go, he grabbed her by the wrist. “Go and tell your mistress that you are not to give her husband a bastard child. I would be curious to hear what her reaction will be. She might be disappointed, having planned to pass off the child as her own later on. Everything can be expected from a woman like her.”
“You are being cruel to me when I have done nothing to deserve it.”
“Nothing? You and I will have to differ on that.” He gave a mirthless laugh.
“I’m sorry I came. I wish…”
She shook her head, not quite sure what she meant. Siaspar, however, seemed to think he understood.
“Oh? Are you telling me that you wanted a baby?” The fingers left her wrist to come and cradle her stomach.
Katherine gasped at the intimate touch. His hand was so warm, his touch so careful despite his anger…
“Are you saying that you wanted me to fill your belly with a bastard child? A Welsh cur? You will allow me to doubt that. I know what you English people think of us. The woman I married has done me the honor of informing me that we are little more than savages.”
“I am not saying anything other than I am not carrying your child.”
Of course, she didn’t want a baby. She was ruined, which was bad enough. A baby would make things a hundred times worse.
She moved away from him. The warmth of his hand on her stomach, the intimate contact, had confused her. He was talking harshly, throwing abominable accusations in her face yet his touch had been as tender as a lover’s. Such intimacy made it difficult for her to think.
But there was one thing she had to tell him.
“Not all English people are the same, my lord, just as I’m sure not all Welsh people are like you.”
“Like me.” Siaspar’s teeth flashed in the darkness. “Whether that is a compliment or a slur, I will have to decide on my own, I suppose.”
“Yes, you will. Good night. Be sure that I will never bother you again.”
Feeling her eyes fill with tears, Katherine ran away before he could see that she was crying. Behind her she thought she heard the ghost of a laugh.