Izzy Remy Texting
(Timeline: Fall semester at Calder Academy, before Cherish)
Remy: Hey girl
Izzy: I know you’re not calling me girl
Remy: Hey, cher?
Izzy: Hey ASSHOLE
Remy: Not the same thing at all
Izzy: What do you want?
Remy: The list is long
Remy: But I thought I’d start by asking for your oh so charming company at breakfast this morning?
Izzy: I don’t eat breakfast
Remy: No, but you do drink it
Izzy: Are you volunteering?
Remy: I wasn’t
Remy: But I could
Remy: I mean, I would like to
Izzy: Please, you couldn’t handle it
Remy: Oh yeah? Try me
Izzy …
Izzy …
Izzy: I’m going back to bed
Remy: Does that mean I win?
Izzy: You wish
Remy: I do wish
Remy: Are you ever going to stop running from this?
Izzy: I DON’T RUN
Remy: What would you call it?
Izzy: Judicious avoidance
Remy: So you admit you’re avoiding me?
Izzy: Don’t sound so proud of that. Maybe I’m avoiding you because you smell bad
Remy: I don’t smell bad
Izzy: That’s what all the guys tell themselves
Remy: Maybe you smell bad
Izzy: Well then, you should probably start avoiding me, too
Remy: What if I don’t want to avoid you?
Izzy: …
Izzy: …
Izzy: Don’t do that
Remy: Don’t do what? I’m just being honest
Izzy: Yeah, well, don’t do that either
Remy: So I need to stop smelling and start lying. Any other requests?
Izzy: You make it sound so easy
Remy: Nothing’s easy, Iz. But some things don’t have to be
Izzy: I’ll be in the cafeteria in fifteen minutes
Remy: So we’re having breakfast???
Izzy: I’m having breakfast. If you happen to be there, you can sit with me
Remy: Already on my way, cher
Izzy: Just so you know, I’m bringing my nose plugs and my knives
Remy: Just so you know, so am I
Izzy: