Chapter 4
Keel popped the top off his beer and took a swig. Reliving his past wasn’t something he loved, but the past had come roaring back in full force after hearing that video.
He watched the delight on Frankie’s face as she ate another chip. Whatever that punk had done to her, it had affected her deeply. When he’d given her any food, she looked stunned, like maybe no one ever gave her food.
“Okay, so my ex, Shana. We got together way too young. We got married the weekend after I signed up for the Army. It was a stupid move.”
“Relationships are dumb.”
Keel nodded. She wasn’t wrong. “So we started our married life with me in boot camp and her trying to get a cosmetology license. It didn’t work out well for her because she didn’t like to study, and she had no clue how to deal with corrections. She quit before I finished my ten weeks in boot camp.”
“Wow. That’s terrible.”
“Yeah, there were problems. Anyway, after that, she got a job working at a department store. It was okay, for a while. We stayed together for a few years. We argued about money. Shana liked to spend money, a lot of money. She got a discount at work, but that wasn’t enough to make up for how much she liked buying new things. ”
Frankie nodded. “That’s what got me in with Forest. The money. I’m not going to lie, I grew up rich, but Forest was filthy with the money. I can understand enjoying shopping, but at some point, you have to love yourself more.”
He glanced at her, hating that she’d gone through hell, but glad that she’d learned something. At least she’d gotten that out of the deal. Maybe she would be okay.
“We moved around, her jobs transferred, and everything was okay for a while. But she hated how the Army intruded. She said they asked too much. Sure, there were some odd schedules foisted on me, but they weren’t being assholes.
It’s just how the Army works. I had night duty a few times a year, but half my unit fell ill with a stomach thing, and I had to take on an extra overnight desk time. Shana got pissed.”
“I’m sure that turned out well.”
He laughed and shook his head. “So well. Let me tell you, it was horrible. She went to my CO’s home and demanded he stop making me work all night.”
Frankie put her hand on his arm. “Oh God, that is awful.”
“Yeah. It got me in a shit load of trouble. I almost lost my position. I endured a ton of shit just to prove I didn’t agree with her, that I loved working hard.”
Frankie started in on her sandwich, slowly chewing. He took a few bites before he moved on to the next part of the story. The worst part. He was ashamed of himself for how he’d handled everything. He took another swig of beer, then started in on the part he hardly ever talked about.
“So we got over that hump. I was really trying to make it work. Then my parents died in a car crash. The drunk driver was blown out of his mind, and didn’t even suffer any injuries.
It was the worst. I was given leave to arrange the funeral.
The Army recruiter in their town helped me plan the funeral, helped me get everything in line. Helped with it all.”
“I’m so sorry. That’s awful.”
“Two minutes before the funeral started, she threw a fit, demanded that I leave with her so she could catch a sale. Said the funeral was a waste of time, that she needed a watch or something.”
“You’re kidding me.”
“No. Yelling in the middle of the fucking church. Finally, after nearly a minute, one of the retired Army dudes who decided to attend forced her out of the church. People were nice, but it was obvious that Shana had made the entire service awkward. I can never separate the memories. My parents’ funeral was ruined.
I can’t go back and have a service they deserved.
The entire time I was sitting there, tears running down my face, shame filling my heart. ”
“You did nothing wrong. You shouldn’t feel shame for what happened.”
“Oh, but I did do something wrong. I stayed with her when I should have divorced her. There were signs, but I ignored them. I should have left her. My dad talked to me the week before because Shana had called my mom and told her she couldn’t call me except for Sunday evenings between the hours of four and four thirty.
It pissed me off. We fought about that.”
Keel moved his chair so it was right in front of Frankie and took both of her hands as he looked in her eyes. She looked nervous, but he had to say this.
“We fought a lot. We argued and screamed, but even when she ruined the funeral, I never, not once, hit her. I don’t know why you stayed with Forest, and I can’t condemn you for that. You did what you had to do. But promise me this. That you’ll never go back to him.”
Frankie felt the tears gathering, and she hated that he was making her cry.
She’d stayed with Forest when she should have left.
She could have walked away the first time he hit her, or when he did the other awful stuff to her.
She could have said enough, but she hadn’t.
A part of her thought she deserved all the punishments and abuse.
Her throat closed with emotion as she thought about that day so long ago. She didn’t want to tell Keel about the day. He would hate her, but the words spilled out.
“When I was sixteen, I got up in the middle of the night to make food. I turned on the stove top and then went to the bathroom. I was scrolling on my phone and forgot the pan on the stove.”
Keel let go of a groan, and she knew he’d deciphered what happened. She still had to say it even if it pained her.
“The fire spread quickly. Because I was downstairs near the pool exit, I got out. My parents never made it out of their bed. They took sleeping pills and slept with earplugs in. They didn’t even wake up. I killed my parents.”
He shook his head. “Accidents happened.”
“I killed them just like that drunk driver.”
“No.” He squeezed her hands, his lips thinned.
She met his gaze, searching his nearly gray eyes. Awful feelings tumbled inside. She’d done so much wrong in her life, so much she felt bad for. As a teen, she’d been stupid and selfish. Her vanity and ego had nearly gotten her killed, and because of her stupidity, she’d killed her parents.
“Mistakes happen. You didn’t intentionally kill your parents.”
Tears streamed down her cheeks, and she let go of a heavy sob. “Close enough. I killed them. They died because of something I did. I’ve never forgiven myself.”
Keel shook his head, then did something she didn’t expect. He pulled her arms and then lifted her from her chair, pulling her into his lap. At first, she wanted to fight his hold, but his hold was gentle, his touch kind as he held her and cried with her.
She adjusted and realized that she could have easily broken his hold and slid away from him, but she didn’t want to. It felt good being in his lap, protected by his strong arms.
“You made a mistake. It was an awful mistake, but you didn’t do it to hurt anyone.”
“For a while, the cops talked about charging me. They never did. I felt so bad that I thought I should have been in prison.”
“The fire did enough to ruin things for you. Prison wouldn’t have helped. It wasn’t like you were a drunk kid taking your parents’ car out for a spin.”
A sob escaped, and he squeezed her close. The first time Forest hit her, she believed she deserved it. She believed that for a long time. Maybe even still believed it.
When her tears finally stopped, she climbed from his lap, and he moved his chair back to where he’d been before. They finished their food as they watched the waves roll in and people walk along the shoreline, some getting wet, others staying dry.
The sun had slipped behind the building, and the shade cooled her. She pulled her legs up and put them in the sweatshirt with her.
“You cold? Do you want to move into the sun?”
“I shouldn’t. I’ll get burned. Did you put sunscreen on?”
He nodded. “I did.”
“I forgot.”
“Do you have any sunscreen over there?”
She let go of a sigh. “There were two tubes in the bathroom. They were left over from when someone else stayed here. If it were high season, I wouldn’t be able to stay.
She has two guests coming in a couple of weeks, so I’ll have to leave.
” Another sigh escaped. “Forest knows where I am, so my hiding spot isn’t so great now. ”
“What’s the deal with him? Why won’t he let you just leave?”
“I’m convenient property. He likes bossing people around, and I never fought back.”
The sound he made deep in his throat sounded like he didn’t like her answer. He didn’t say anything, and she was glad for his silence. She wasn’t sure she could take more.
It was hard enough knowing she was a royal fuck up in everything so far in life. If Forest killed her, she would say she deserved it, and no one should mourn her. Hope had left her life after she’d burned the family home. She didn’t have a family, nor a home. Alone was what she deserved.