Chapter 11
After she finished eating dinner alone, she headed to Keel’s place and knocked.
Journaling her thoughts and emotions was exhausting, but putting them on paper seemed to help.
She’d come so far since Keel had loaned her that book.
She no longer felt that sinking into a pit of despair was her only option.
“Hey,” Keel said as a smile spread across his lips. “Did you have a good day?”
“I think so. I mean, it was emotional, but I feel like something changed inside. Like a lock clicked and something leaked out.”
“Leaked out. Is that good?”
“I think so. I feel better.”
“Do you have a preference for movies?”
She shrugged. “I don’t like war movies.”
His lips tipped up on the side. “I hate war movies. I like funny, feel-good movies. Not crass humor. Honestly, I like Disney movies and romcoms.”
“How about a romcom?”
“Okay, let’s pick one.”
They settled on an old one with Hugh Grant in it.
They laughed, and at one point she cried and noticed Keel wiping his eyes.
She never had calm, normal nights like this with Forest. Everything had been wild and crazy, like an endless party.
If he wasn’t going to a private party, they had to go out dancing, or they went to Atlantic City to gamble. It was exhausting.
It felt good just hanging out together like they were friends. They were chilling, and there wasn’t any pressure to perform.
The movie ended, and Keel put his hands behind his head and stretched out his legs. “That was good.”
“It was.” She should go. She knew it was time. She needed sleep, and if she stayed, she might do something stupid like lean over and kiss him. That would be a huge mistake.
Keel had closed his eyes at some point, and she studied his face, learning the slope of his nose and the small creases near his eyes. She should stop staring. The last thing she wanted to do was to transmit the growing feelings she had toward Keel.
Getting her head straight was too important. She didn’t want to ruin her progress by jumping into something she didn’t understand.
Keel enjoyed spending time with Frankie.
It was easy, like they were supposed to spend time together.
Maybe it was because they were friends. It kind of felt like he was just hanging with his guys, but Frankie was beautiful, and no one would ever mistake her for one of the guys.
He needed to stop thinking about how sexy she was and concentrate on other aspects.
The couch moved, and he could feel Frankie standing beside him. “Hey, I’m going to go. I’m tired.”
“Okay. Sounds good. I need some sleep, too.”
He stood in one fluid motion, ignoring the desire that had built. They were friends, nothing more. He would need to text Chase in the morning and get another kick in the rear.
He knew Chase would want updates and admonish him if he stepped over the line with Frankie.
It was the best course for now. Maybe things would change over time, like maybe after Frankie gained some perspective.
It wouldn’t be fair to make a move on her now.
Plus, he never wanted another relationship, even if the woman made him feel things he hadn’t felt in years.
He couldn’t let himself get in too deep because he never wanted to be that deep with another person.
Getting close to Frankie would be a mistake and would only end in pain.
Sleep came easily, and when Frankie stepped out on her balcony to watch the sun rise, he glanced over and caught her smile. It was almost as beautiful as the sunrise.
“Good morning,” he said, almost adding beautiful to the end of his statement. Luckily, he stopped himself before he said the word out loud. He still had some restraint. Which reminded him he needed to text Chase and make sure he knew to hold the line where Frankie was concerned.
Frankie sighed. “The clouds make it beautiful this morning.”
“Yeah, it is really nice. You almost ready for breakfast?”
“Sure. I’m going to bring the eggs you put in my bag over since I’m mooching breakfast from you.”
Her words made him smile. “You’re not mooching. I’m offering.”
“You’ve been very nice. Way too nice.”
“Come over, and I’ll get the eggs going. Then let’s go do something fun.”
Frankie was at his door, handing over her small carton of eggs. “So, fun. What were you thinking?”
“Let’s take a boat out.”
“A boat?” She said the word like it was a foreign concept.
“Sure.”
“Do you know how to drive a boat?”
He couldn’t help but laugh. “I sure do. Part of my training. It comes in handy on weird missions.”
“Weird missions?”
He shrugged. “Can’t really talk about it.”
Frankie laughed and waggled her eyebrows. “Ah, so super-secret missions like Spy Kids but for adults.”
It felt good to laugh with her as he made their eggs. She poured more coffee for herself and leaned against the kitchen counter.
“Thank you for taking me on. I’m a mess.”
He shook his head. “No, you’re not. In the Army, I’ve led groups of young men who were total messes. You want to talk about messes, take a group of eighteen-year-old boys who are trying to become men. Jesus, they are such drama queens.”
Frankie chuckled. “Tell me a story.”
“Okay, but you’ve got to remember I was just as fucked up when I entered the military, so no shade. I was probably just as much of a headache as this kid.”
“Okay, so get on with it. I need to hear that I’m not the only screwed up person out there.”
He snorted a laugh. “Okay, so this one kid, he joined up to say fuck you to his overbearing parents. And when I say his parents were overbearing, I mean like they never let him even make himself a peanut butter sandwich. He didn’t even have to pour his own glass of water.
His mom got everything for him because she thought he would screw everything up.
He’d never washed his clothes, folded them, or hung them up.
He didn’t know how to buy toiletries or make any decisions.
Seriously, it was like taking care of a child. ”
“Wow, that’s wild.”
“Yeah. He was a handful. I wanted to yell at him, but I ended up teaching him how to do a bunch of shit. A few other guys and I ended up taking him for a few hours each weekend and teaching him stuff, like how to wash clothes and how to grocery shop. It took him a while, but he got his shit together after some really hard weeks. Like really hard weeks. He was beaten up a few times because he was really stupid with his decisions.”
Frankie’s mouth hung open, and she shook her head. “Dang, that’s awful.”
“It was, but had he been left to his own devices, he would have been a total shit in life. He probably would be homeless and strung out on drugs.”
“Do you still keep up with him?”
“It’s been a few years since I talked to him, but he got out and went to college, then created a technology that is necessary for new satellites. Then he opened a charity for young men who grew up in poverty. He’s a good guy now, but it was rough going for a while.”
“So you’re like some loser whisperer or something.”
He hit her with a hard stare. “You aren’t a loser.”
“I really feel like one. I never should have stayed with Forest. I lost years of my life to that bastard. I could have lost it all.”
The eggs were close enough to done, so he switched off the burner and turned to Frankie. He took her hands and lowered just a little, meeting her gaze.
“Hey, you got out. You saved yourself. You should be proud of that. You can do better.”
“Can I?”
He nodded as he pulled her into a hug. She wrapped her arms around him and held on.
He didn’t want to let her go. Whatever it was that connected them had wormed its way into his heart.
He felt things holding this woman that he hadn’t experienced before.
It wasn’t just lust. What he felt was deeper, sharper. Sharp enough to cut his soul.
If he pulled her closer and got involved with her, he could end up winning. But relationships were dangerous, and they could both end up destroyed.