Chapter 14
Victor
Here we are, back at Ty and Emma’s house next door.
It feels like the proposal conversation was months ago, rather than a week.
We’re all sitting in the living room, eating delivery pizza rather than a formal dinner this time.
Tyson said this is the gritty part of the whole process.
The part where we all have to have a completely honest conversation about the leap of faith we’re all about to take.
Ty and Emma got their household goods delivered, so this time we’re all sitting comfortably.
I look over at Gabbi sitting on the oversized reclining chair across from me.
She looks adorable. Legs folded underneath her, hands together in her lap, while she fidgets with her fingernails.
She would tell you she looks a mess, but I like her little jean shorts and oversized hoodie.
Reminds me of when we were in high school.
Gabbi’s chest rises with a deep sigh before she asks, “Where do we start, Ty?” Emma is tucked into Ty’s side, both of them sitting on the love seat to my left, while I sit at the end of the large couch, resting my forearms on my knees in anticipation of this conversation.
Ty and Emma are the picture of relaxed and settled in contrast to my and Gabbi’s tense, anxious poses.
Ty starts, “I know you’re both nervous, so let me just say now that you don’t have to agree to anything you don’t want to. You both control this and can stop it at any time. That goes for physical, emotional, or verbal limitations.” He pauses.
“How do we control whatever it is that we’re doing without knowing exactly what will happen?” Gabbi asks before I can.
“By a safe word,” Emma adds.
Both of our faces go slack, and it looks like Gabbi’s eyes are going to bug out of her head. “Safe word?” I’m intrigued and nervous as fuck. “Isn’t that for BDSM style shit?” Did my voice just crack?
Ty laughs, he fucking laughs at me. “Yeah, man, I mean it can be, but safe words can be used for anything. Same principle though. We’ll use the stoplight system.
Green means you’re good to continue, yellow means you’re getting close to your limit, and red means you’ve reached your limit.
” Ty pauses to look at Gabbi and me, making sure we’re following along.
“These will apply to everything we are doing, whether it’s a conversation we are having or a physical encounter. ” Gabbi and I both nod.
“The whole point of this is to give you both a safe space to explore yourselves and each other. To give you all a chance to truly see each other and determine if you want to continue being together or if this is the end for you.” Emma’s voice is soft, but her words are a punch to the gut. The last line of defense.
“So, what are the steps or phases, or whatever? How long will it be in each? What things do we have to do in each phase? Is there a checklist or something? I know some couples that have gone to marriage counseling, and they have something similar to a checklist.” I close my eyes in frustration at Gabbi’s rapid-fire questions. Always trying to control the situation.
Emma gets up from the couch and squeezes against Gabby’s side, settling into the same oversized recliner.
She smiles when she reaches out her hand, and I’m relieved when Gabbi takes it.
“G, I know you feel most settled when you have all the answers and are in control of the situation. Buuuut, this is designed to make you uncomfortable. On purpose.” Emma slightly nods her head when she speaks, like she’s subliminally communicating it’s okay.
Gabbi scrunches her face like she smells something bad.
Emma continues, “Think about where control and comfort got you.” She pauses, “Here, Gabbi. It got you here. If this is how you want to continue, then Ty and I will support you both.” Emma looks at me, “But something tells me that Vic doesn’t want to keep going down this path either.
” She looks back at Gabbi, who’s staring at me.
My heart is pounding so hard, and I can feel the dread creeping in from the sides of my brain. Please, baby, say you’ll do this.
After a long silence, Gabbi nods her head once. “Okay. Where do we start?” I let out a loud breath I didn’t even know I was holding, and mouth, thank you to Gabbi. Her only response is a quick half smile.