Chapter 32 #2
Just then, the door bursts open, and Alea stands up, covering my lady bits from the intruder’s eyes. “Um, EXCUSE ME, SIR! You cannot be in here.” I just cover my face with embarrassment.
“Gabbi? I heard you scream. Are you okay, baby?” I know that voice. I peek through my open fingers, tilting my head backwards to look at the door behind me. Vic?
“What the hell? Vic, what are you doing here?” I’m in Shock.
“You know this person?” Alea questions.
“I’m her husband.” Vic shuts the door behind him. “What the hell are you doing to my wife?” Aaaand my hands go back up over my face without any cue from my brain. Wait, what the fuck is he doing here? I fling my hand from my eyes.
“VIC! What are you doing here?” I’m irritated that I have to ask a second time.
Vic sits on the spare stool in the room, looking around, like a kid in a museum, and not making eye contact with me.
“Trina called me. Said she had an emergency at work or something. She told me you may need some support, so I drove over from work. It’s only a couple of streets over.
” He’s quiet for a minute. “I thought Trina was joking.”
“For fuck’s sake.” I huff, close my eyes, and shake my head. “Alea, Vic. Vic, Alea. I’m getting waxed, Vic. You don’t have to stay in here.”
“Waxed? What are you…” Vic finally takes a look at me and the things going on around my body. “Oh, jesus! Gabbi, why would you do that?” Oh, fuck my life. This is the most awkward shit. This feels like National Lampoon’s waxing appointment.
“Vic, I am lying here with my legs spread and a woman I just met about thirty minutes ago hovering very close to my poose with hot wax at her disposal. Are you in or are you out?”
Vic takes another second, then rolls the stool around the table by my head. “Do you want to hold my hand?” I take him up on that offer since, well, since it fucking hurts. Vic reaches a hand up and grabs mine.
Alea settles back in, pulling her thick, black-rimmed fashionista glasses back over her eyes. “Alright, everyone cozy? Here we go.”
I can feel the warm wax going on. Not too bad. Maybe the first one was just rough. “SHIT! FUCK! JESUS CHRIST!” I cry out. Vic is now standing over me, grabbing my other hand with his. At this rate, he’ll be lucky to have any function in his hands within the next 48 hours.
“Gabb’s, can I do anything?” Vic’s face is contorted, and his eyes look sad. Concerned? Maybe anguished.
RIIIP. Alea keeps going as Vic is asking me questions. “Aaaagh!” I squeeze Vic’s hands, and my eyes shut at the same time. “Jesus, this was the dumbest shit I have ever done in my life. I am going to kill Katrina!”
Alea giggles a bit. “I told you, it’ll be worth it.” She tells me in between bouts of ripping my soul out through my va-jayjay.
“Why is that?” Vic asks innocently. Like a kid in a classroom.
“For real, Vic?” Is this really happening?
“What? I’m just curious.”
Another moment passes with warm wax, slight tickle, aaaand here it comes… “FUUUUCK!” I wonder if I can just stop now and name my poose Two-face for the next few weeks.
Alea stifles another giggle. “Well, Vic, without going into the science and all that, I’ll just tell you that it makes your wife’s lady-bits more sensitive, you know, for sexy time?”
“Huh. That’s interesting.” Vic states philosophically while looking down at Alea’s handiwork. “She looks beautiful, baby.” Vic smiles down at me.
Oh. My. God. I’m going to die of mortification. This is the most awkward I have ever felt in front of my husband.
Alea stops for a moment, looking up at me. “What do you mean, the most awkward you’ve felt in front of him?” Oh fuck-a-duck, I said that shit out loud? Great, somehow I’ve lost my filter through twat-scaping. “Don’t you have two kids? I would think that was a pretty messy situation.” She giggles.
Vic squeezes my hands a bit before responding.
“Uh, I was actually deployed for both of our girls’ births.
” That’s not the only thing he missed. He looks at me with shame in his eyes, and it physically hurts my heart.
Right up until Alea exercises another demon through my cooter.
Fuck! I’m getting a new fucking best friend.
After a few more minutes on the torture table, Alea tells me I can get dressed, but not to wear underwear.
Vic grins like a fiend in response, taking my purple lacy thong, balling it up, and putting it in his pocket.
Cheeky bastard. On our way out, I overhear Vic ask Alea, “So, how long do I have to wait to take it for a spin?” Nodding in my direction.
My cheeks flushed bright red. “My god, Vic, really?” I mean, I’m no prude, but shit, we just fucking met this woman an hour ago.
Alea lets out her boisterous laugh and humors Vic by leaning in while winking at me and says, “Wait about 24 hours, big guy.”
“You got it, girlie! Thanks for your time today.” Vic opens the door for me. “Come on, Gabbs, 24-hour countdown starts now.” All I can do is roll my eyes and try to keep the butterflies from murdering each other in my stomach.