Chapter 56
Victor
“Fuck, Gabbi….you feel so fucking good,” I grunt as Gabbi’s cunt swallows my cock. “That’s such a good fucking girl. Ride by cock, baby, that’s right. It’s yours.”
“Yes….Fuck yes, Vic.” Gabbi drops down on me over and over, grinding her clit against me as she bounces, her hands gripping the back of the leather couch on either side of my shoulders.
“Shit, Vic, you feel so good. Slap my ass. Please, Vic, I’m so close.
” Her words rapidly fall from her lips, sweat beading at her temples.
I love that my girl isn’t shy about asking for what she wants, not anymore.
I bring my hand down hard against her ass, stinging my palm, and Gabbi lets out a guttural moan. It’s a good thing everyone’s out for the night. Gabbi and I just came down to the living room to have a movie night in, and one thing led to another.
“Vic, I’m right there, baby.” Gabbi reaches for my hand, tits bouncing with her every move. The wave of my climax barreling forward with hers, then she places my hand to her throat, and my heart stops. No. “Come on, baby, squeeze, push me over the edge.” All the breath leaves my lungs.
“Gabbi…”
“Please, baby, I’m right fucking there…oh …god.. just a quick squeeze, Vic…”
A flash of Gabbi choking with my hand around her throat plays like a movie scene in my brain. “Gabbi…”
“Vic, please,” her voice comes out needy and breathless.
My heart is pounding, and I can’t catch my breath. My vision is starting to blur, fuck, I can’t breathe… There’s a high-pitched ringing in my ears…. “Gabbi.” I move my hands to her hips, trying to slow her movements. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I’m panicking.
“Please, Vic, please…” She keeps begging, but I can barely hear her over the ringing.
“Yellow,” I whisper. Gabbi’s eyes shoot to mine, and she slows her hips.
“What?” Gabbi’s panting from her movements, concern spilling into her eyes.
“Yellow, Gabbi.” The vulnerability is leaking from my voice. Embarrassment creeping around the edges. “I’m starting to panic, G.” God, this sucks. My voice sounds so weak.
Gabbi caresses my face with her hand and gently kisses my bottom lip, “What do you need, Vic?” Her voice is soft and understanding, but she hasn’t moved.
Before thinking about the words, I respond, “I need a minute.” Damnit! Why am I so fucked up?
Gabbi gracefully stands up and moves to my side. The cold air on my cock smacks me with the reality of my words. My dick is still hard. Stopping like that sucks. It’s got to suck for her, too. I instantly feel like shit.
“I’m sorry.” I drop my head against the back of the couch and fling my arm up over my eyes, not being able to look at her.
I can’t stand to see the disappointment in her eyes.
“I’m scared to do that to you, G. I’m sorry.
” It feels like an elephant is sitting on my chest. “I can’t put you in danger again.
I can’t lose control like that.” My heart is still pounding, but my dick is starting to soften, resting against my lower stomach.
“Vic.” She touches my cheek, but I pull away from her touch. I feel the couch dip next to me, and something soft and heavy lies across my lap, but I still don’t move. When Gabbi’s fingers lace through my other hand, my heart starts to slow a bit.
“Vic, you’re safe, baby. I’m here and I love you.
” Her voice is soothing and serene, like I didn’t just hit the brakes while going 180 miles an hour.
“We can sit here for as long as you want, or I can leave you alone if you’d rather I do that.
” My head snaps up, eyes focusing on hers.
Gabbi is covered now, wearing my t-shirt she must have grabbed off the floor, and she’s placed a thick blanket across my lap.
Squeezing our interlaced fingers together, I shake my head and attempt to speak, “I don’t want you to leave. I just…” My words trail off since I have no idea what to say.
We sit on the couch in silence, staring at each other for what feels like forever.
I can’t tell what she’s thinking, but I’m relieved to see her eyes void of disappointment or pity.
After a few more moments that feel like eternal silence, I find my voice, but drop my eyes.
“You could have died, Gabbi.” It comes on a low breath. Gabbi leans back at my quiet words.
“Vic, that was a long time ago.”
“Not long enough, G.” I continue staring at our linked fingers. Her’s delicate, soft, and feminine. Mine thick, calloused, and permanently grease-stained.
“Vic, look at me.” Her voice is soft but commanding. I meet her gaze. “Tell me what you think happened that night.”
“Gabbi, I’m not sure I want to do this.”
“Okay. We don’t have to. It can wait.” Gabbi scoots closer to me on the couch and lays her head on my shoulder as I unlink our fingers and wrap my arm around her, pulling her into me.
As we sit there in silence, all I can hear is Emma and Ty. You guys have to want this. You have to want to want to get uncomfortable. You have to be in it one hundred percent.
Fuck…I breathe out slowly, “You know what happened, Gabbi, things got carried away, I got lost in my trauma, and you got hurt.” The memory of that night makes me nauseous, just thinking of what I could have done to her had she not snapped me out of it.
“Vic, if you don’t want to talk now, we don’t have to. But if you do, then I think you should start by telling me what you remember happening.” Gabbi’s words are clear and free of emotion. She’s truly giving me control of whether or not to proceed down this dangerous path.
My chest rises and falls, moving her slightly with each breath.
My fingers start drawing lazy circles on her shoulder, oozing more feelings of comfort through my body.
It was about five years ago, after I returned from a rough deployment, but I remember it like it was last night. “We were having sex.”
“Mhmm.” Gabbi’s hand moves to my thigh, rubbing her delicate fingers across my skin.
“We were both into it, like we both wanted to reignite that fire between us. Dirty words, sweaty limbs, ugh, you were so wild and beautiful.” I close my eyes at the memory of her on top of me.
“Then…”
A lump forms in my throat at my next words, “I moved my hand to your throat and I started to squeeze.” My body initiates a slight shake.
“Yes, you did. Why did you do that, baby?” Her voice is so calm and confident.
“Because I knew you liked it.” She nods and looks up at me, her face telling me to elaborate.
“We’ve done that since we were in our twenties.
It’s something I’ve known you liked for a long time.
” Fuck, can she feel me shaking? Just then, her hand squeezes my thigh; she must feel me.
It’s like she’s trying to ground me and keep me here, but I’m not sure if it’s working. My heart is still racing.
“Then what happened?” She calmly encourages.
“Then I…I must have gotten too into it, I squeezed and something about my fingers around your throat, and the adrenaline pumping through my body. Fuck Gabbi, I could have killed you.” I pull my hands up to my hair, tears sting my eyes, and my chest starts heaving. I think I’m hyperventilating.
“Vic. Hey, baby, stay with me.” Gabbi crawls into my lap, straddling me over the blanket.
She reaches for my wrists, pulling them away from my head and linking her fingers through mine.
“Look around, baby, I’m fine, everything’s okay, you’re safe.
” She lowers her forehead to mine, and the first tear spills over my lids, sliding down my cheek.
“I got lost in my head, I forgot where I was, I squeezed your throat and flipped you over. I didn’t even realize I was still inside of you while I…
while I…fuck, Gabbi! I was inside of you while I tried to strangle you with both hands.
I mean JESUS CHRIST!” I shoot up from the couch and lift her off me, placing her on the seat I just stood from.
I grab my basketball shorts from the floor and quickly pull them on.
My hands are in my hair again, pulling, trying to bring me back down.
My heart is ready to pound out of my chest, I can’t fucking see, why is my vision so goddamn blurry…
“Vic,” I hear a soft voice. “Vic,” I feel soft hands on my chest. “Vic, baby.” The smell of lilies overwhelms me.
Tears are flowing, but my vision clears enough to see her beautiful brown eyes meeting mine, “There you are.” Her hands continue to slide up and down my chest, bringing me back down to Earth.
I wrap my arms around her, and we sink to the floor as a sob breaks free from my chest and escapes my lips.
She’s holding me on the floor, tighter than I think she’s ever held me.
I can’t stop the tears. What the hell is happening?
“Gabbi, I’m so sorry, baby. I’m so fucking sorry,” I continue to cry through my apologies.
“I never want to hurt you again. I can’t do that to you. ”
“I know, Vic. It’s okay, I know.” She strokes my hair as we sit there on the floor, leaning against the couch in each other’s arms.
After a while, the tears stop, and my breathing starts to slow, with Gabbi continuing to stroke my hair.
Her voice jostles the silence, “Now, it’s my turn to tell you what happened.
” I look up at her, my head in her lap, both of us still on the floor.
“That deployment you came back from was a dangerous one. As a matter of fact, it was so dangerous that you found yourself in a situation where you were against a man twice your size and found yourself with no ammo and no knife.” I blink at her, listening.
I don’t know how she knows this information.
“You found yourself separated from your team in a position of hand-to-hand combat, and you came out alive. To come home to us.”
I don’t say anything. I can’t even move a muscle. I never told her any of this.