Chapter 2
Something To Look Forward To
THYRI
Ilocked the door behind them and pressed my forehead against it, slowly exhaling.
Every interaction I had with Enzo since our first kiss at the Sullivan holiday soirée left me feeling like this – longing for the time to last just a bit longer.
It was something about the way he spoke to me.
The way his presence filled the room. And his lips.
God, his lips really had me questioning whether I really wanted to continue taking it slow.
I mean, my mind said it was for the best, but this cat said different.
It had been a little over a year since I had sex.
And not because I had sworn off men. And certainly not because I didn’t have suitors.
A bad bitch with personality that could fill the room always had suitors.
However, I was still learning how to be single after coming out of a fourteen-year marriage.
I also had a son to think about, and my father’s health consumed a lot of my time as well.
On top of being selective of who I allowed in my space, I hadn’t necessarily put myself out there to date.
And then there was Enzo. He was my type, a provider, protector, an amazing father, loved family, and gave B.D.E.
in every sense of the phrase. I was glad that I wasn’t closed off to the idea of there being an “us”.
Still, taking it slow was proving to be more difficult when I was long overdue for coochie maintenance – and not the kind from my wax lady.
I was talkin’ ‘bout fawkin, sweating out my hair type of maintenance.
Shaking off my lust filled thoughts, I went to shut the house down for the night.
It was quiet without EJ’s voice filling the space.
Funny how a two-year-old could take up so much room without trying.
I just knew he’d hate it the first time he came over.
My place was a nice size, but I didn’t have a playroom or amenities fit for a toddler like he was used to having at his fingertips.
It turned out that he loved being in KJ’s room more than the one he had at home.
He wanted to be a teenager so bad. Smiling to myself, I went into the living room to dismantle the fort me and EJ had built earlier to watch movies in while we ate snacks.
We later used it to play hide and seek. Being around him made it hard not to become a big ass kid.
While straightening the pillows on the couch, I thought about Enzo’s words.
Forsaking all others. You only wait up for me.
Enzo was dangerous in ways he didn’t even try to be.
It only pushed me closer to him. Satisfied with my living room, I headed for the kitchen to wash the few dishes in the sink.
With my head in the clouds over my new boo, I heard KJ’s slippers flapping against the floor as he walked into the kitchen.
“I thought you were sleeping,” I said, watching him open the fridge. “Aht aht. You betta wash your hands. I don’t know what you be getting into in the middle of the night.”
Teenage boys were nasty, and I was almost sure that KJ had long ago discovered himself.
“Come on wit’ that, Ma.” He huffed but walked over to wash his hands in the second sink.
“I’m just saying. Let’s be mindful.”
Shaking his head, he grabbed a cup from the cabinet and filled it with water. “EJ coming back over tomorrow?”
“I’m not scheduled to work, but anything can change. Why, wassup? You wanna hang?”
He frowned and side-eyed me over the rim of his cup.
I chuckled. “Why you act like it’s a crime to hang out with me?” I questioned, drying my hands and placing one on my hip. “I think you be forgettin’ that ya mama is that girl.”
“Ma, no teenager wants to spend time with their moms. Besides, you got someone that wanna hang witchu, but you be frontin’.”
I leaned back against the counter with confusion written on my face. “I didn’t even know y’all still use that word.” I snickered. “Who I’m frontin’ on, KJ?”
“Enzo,” he replied without hesitation.
My heart jumped, but I remained straight faced. “Huh?” was all I could come up with.
With a wide grin, he set his cup down and leaned back against the fridge.
“Ma, I know you’ve been trying your best to keep the status of y’all relationship from me, but I can see.
Y’all tryna act like it’s a top-secret mission just makes it even more obvious.
I know you’re doing it in fear of how it’ll make me feel. Enzo doing it out of respect.”
“Boy, ain’t nobody scared of you.” I crossed my arms and playfully rolled my eyes. I knew my son wasn’t oblivious, but I also didn’t think he was paying that much attention.
He laughed soft and easy, letting me know that he really wasn’t trippin’ about me dating or who I’d chosen to spend my time with.
“You don’t have to worry about me when it comes to you dating, Ma.
I knew it would happen eventually. As long as dude treats you right, I’m cool. Enzo straight. The family cool too.”
I studied my son, who’d been my life for the last fifteen years. He had all of Kaleb’s facial features but my heart, no doubt. Here he was, giving me his blessing to live my life for me. I hadn’t noticed that his blessing was one of the things that played a part in me taking it slow with Enzo.
“I like him, KJ,” I admitted.
“I know, Ma. Do ya thang. I mean, who knows? Maybe he can get you out of that helicopter mama thing you be on.” He snickered.
“Boy, please. Me dating or even being in a relationship will never make me back up off of you.” I swatted him with the dish towel, and he jumped back.
“Hey, I tried.” Picking up his glass, he kissed my cheek. “Just so you know, I draw the line at babysitting.”
“Got it. Good night, baby.”
“Night, Ma.”
He headed back down the hall, leaving me with a smile on my face and my heart full.
He knew, I thought. Relief washed over me, knowing I no longer had to find the right time or the right way to tell him.
I finished shutting the house down, and my phone chimed, indicating a text notification. Picking it up, there was a text from Enzo.
Enzo: Made it home. He ain’t wake up once.
Below the message was a picture of EJ tucked into his bed, still sound asleep.
Me: He played hard today.
Enzo: I can tell. Oh, I forgot to let you know we have a date tomorrow night. Just us. Ya boy gotta sit this one out.
Me: Lol. He won’t be happy about it, but it’s fine with me. Where we going?
Enzo: Dinner. We’ll see where the night takes us after. And I’ll be sure to break the news gently to EJ that he’ll be hanging with Grandma for the night. Dress it up and make it real for a nigga too. Heels and all dat.
My mouth formed a sly grin as my eyes cut to my closet.
Me: I can do that.
Enzo: Can’t wait to see. Get you some rest, Ma.
I was excited about the date. And while I enjoyed our little outings with EJ, this date would be grown and sexy. He wanted me to dress it up and make it real. I planned to do just that.
I stood in the middle of my kitchen, slowly sipping a cup of hot chocolate, while staring at the Christmas tree I had yet to take down. I’d made a mental note last week that I’d make it happen and had been walking past the tree since then.
“This weekend I’ma get it done,” I said out loud in an attempt to convince myself that the task would be completed – just not today.
Today was father/daughter day where I dedicated most of my time to hanging out with my father at Sullivan Manor.
It was crazy how far he’d come since being at the new facility.
Not only was he receiving excellent care daily, but I didn’t have to walk around worrying.
My heart was at ease, and I had Enzo’s Aunt Fawn and the team she employed at Sullivans Manor to thank for that.
Thanks to her, progress was no longer a wish; it was something I was able to track with my own eyes and through daily updates via the facility’s online portal.
My father had been reaching milestones just by having people around him who cared enough to go above and beyond their call of duty.
One of the biggest milestones was his speech.
After a few weeks of working with a speech therapist, his speech had cleared up significantly.
Words that he once struggled with now came out clearer.
His confidence was back. Then there was physical therapy.
He was ahead of schedule and even surprising himself some days with how much he was able to do.
And Fawn was there for it all. She wasn’t just the owner of the facility.
She was the heartbeat who advocated for every patient in the building, the blessing I knew I needed, who gave extra special care to my dad.
Fawn celebrated my dad’s wins like they were her own.
She checked in constantly, even when she wasn’t there physically.
Part of me felt like she was filling a void that my dad never knew he had.
When he had minor setbacks, she encouraged him, letting him know that she’d never promised recovery would be a cake walk, but it’d be worth it.
More than that, she encouraged me. Made sure to remind me that his life wasn’t mine and that I could still be the best daughter and show up for him without losing myself.
“Don’t let time pass you by because you’re trying to be all you can be here,” she said. “Your father will never forgive you if you do.”
I appreciated her words. I also knew they weren’t hers alone. My dad talked to her about me. I watched how he watched me every time I came to visit. He saw my tired eyes some days. My dad knew his babygirl. He knew that telling me to do less would only make me go harder.
Now, he had someone else in his corner to look out for him the way I did. It took the weight off my chest, making my days lighter.
“Aight, Ma, I’m leaving.” I heard KJ as he walked down the hallway.
“I’m in the kitchen, boo.”
“Oh. I thought you were in your room.” Walking into the kitchen, he kissed my cheek.