Chapter 9 Letting My Heart Decide #2
“No.” I let out a small laugh.
“You okay?”
I sighed. “Honestly, not really.”
“Answer your FaceTime.”
Pulling one of the pillows in front of me, I propped the phone up and accepted the video request. Thyri appeared on the screen, looking freshly fucked with her head wrapped in a silk scarf and her chest partially covered with a comforter.
“Ummm, what you doing?” I questioned teasingly.
“Laying in my bed, nosey. What’s wrong?”
“Why you ain’t got no shirt on?”
She snickered. “Cause this my house. I can’t be comfortable in my house?”
“Why you answering my question wit’ a question?”
“Why you keep asking me questions?” she fired back, twisting her neck.
“I’m gonna call you once I make it to the office, aight?”
I heard Enzo’s voice clearly before his head popped into the camera. He kissed her a few times, not caring who she was on the phone with. Pulling back, he whispered something in her ear that made her blush and bite her bottom lip. He kissed her once more before turning to the camera.
I waved oddly, making him laugh. “Heyy.”
“Wassup, Danae? You aight?”
“Yep.”
“Cool. Aye, if that soup Aura made you is nasty, tell that nigga. Don’t spare his feelings. I would hate for him to think he can add chef to his list of talents and start bringing shit to the family gatherings for us to try.”
I laughed and nodded. “I’ll be telling the truth and nothing but the truth.”
“Preciate you.” He stole another kiss from Thyri and disappeared from the camera view.
Thyri’s eyes followed him out.
“Dick got you ready to get in that nigga pocket, don’t it?” I giggled.
“I’m ready to hang off that man balls, Nae. And you know I’ve never been the clingy type. Ever.”
“I do. But clingy is cool though. As long as you clinging to the right balls, that’s alright wit’ me.”
She laughed and sat up straight in the bed, holding the comforter in place. “My spidey senses tell me they the right balls. You know what else they tell me?”
“What?”
“That we need to talk.”
“We do but not now. I’m in Aura’s house.”
“Ohhhh.” Smirking, she nodded. “And what you doing over there? While you all in my business, that’s the question that needs answering.”
“Girl, please. As you can see, I’m fully dressed, unlike yourself.”
“You are now. Y’all could’ve been fuckin’ all night for all I know.”
I burst out laughing. “Well, we were not. With the way my stomach was churning last night, that wouldn’t have been going down anyway.”
I went on to tell her about last night’s upset stomach chronicles, Aura arriving unannounced this morning, and how I ultimately ended up in his house.
“He really don’t play ‘bout you. Is it over the top? Absolutely. But do I think it comes from a genuine place of care? Absolutely. And you need that, Nae. After all that pain you once carried, it has to feel good to know that someone wants to be the best for you in spite of.”
“In spite of what?”
“In spite of you standing in your own way.”
Her words stuck, and this time, I didn’t have a comeback. A knock at the door interrupted the silence.
“That’s Aura. Let me hit you back when I leave here. Love you.”
“Okay, boo. Love you too. And Nae?”
“Yeah?”
“It’s okay to give your brain a break for once and just let your heart lead.” She flashed me a smile before hanging up.
I closed my eyes, letting her advice sink in, before responding, calling out to Aura to open the door.
He held it open but didn’t come in. “How you feeling?”
“Better. Thank you. This mattress is a trap.”
“A trap for what?” He chuckled.
“Involuntary sleepovers.”
“Girl, ain’t nobody tryna kidnap you. Glad to hear you slept well though. I made some soup if you’re hungry. And it’s good. But if you don’t like it, we can order you something.”
I smiled. “I’m not really hungry, but I’m gonna eat some because you took the time out to make it.”
“Aight. Come on.”
Picking up my phone, I followed him out to the kitchen. Wanting to see the food, I walked over to the pot and took the lid off. I nodded my approval. The soup looked hearty, and it smelled amazing. I had high hopes of it tasting just as good.
“If my grandma was here, she would’ve popped the shit out of you for being in that pot.”
“Oh, my bad,” I said, placing the lid back on.
He laughed and pulled out a bowl from the cabinet. “You good.”
“Here.” I held my hand out for the bowl. “I can do it.”
He passed it to me, along with a spoon. Ladling the soup into the bowl, I set it on the counter. Positioning himself at the side of me, Aura grinned like he knew something I didn’t.
“Why you smiling like that? What you put in here?”
“Girl, you paranoid as hell.” He laughed. “We gotta get you in therapy, baby?”
“Shut up. You the one smiling all hard. I ain’t even taste it yet.”
“I already know it’s good. I cooked it with love.”
“Mmhmm.” I ate a spoonful, and he nodded.
“Shit good, ain’t it?”
“You gotta give me a chance to chew and swallow,” I said, covering my mouth with my hand.
“By the way you chewing, I already know you savoring the flavors. You ain’t gotta tell me what I already know,” he replied cockily. “Dada an Aura of all trades.”
I ate another spoonful and smirked. “You mean a jack of all trades, crazy.”
“Nah. I meant what I said. Ain’t no jack here, baby.”
“Oh.” I giggled. “Whatever you say. This is good though. I gotta give props where props is due.”
“Now, that’s new for you.”
I cut my eye at him. “Don’t make me take it back.”
“Aight. Aight.”
“I would’ve never pegged you as the cooking type.”
“It’s a lot of shit I do for the people I love that you don’t know about yet. Just imagine when you’re my wife. It only gets better.”
There it was again, that flutter in my stomach when he mentioned a future for us.
I looked down at the bowl, stirring the soup gently.
My thoughts drifted to the last thing Thyri said before ending our call.
“It’s okay to give your brain a break for once and just let your heart lead.
” I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, counting to ten before opening them.
When I did, he was staring down at me with a smile tugging at his lips. That alone put me at ease.
“Aura.” I said his name as if I didn’t already have his attention.
“Danae,” he replied, mocking me.
“I wanna ask you something, but it’s not something I can just come right out and say.”
“That’s because women don’t usually ask men to marry them, Ma. It’s not the natural order of things.” He smiled, and I sucked my teeth.
“Boy, please. I’d drink the water from the Atlantic Ocean through a straw before I ask a nigga hand in marriage. Is you cool?”
He laughed with his hands up. “Just making sure.”
“Trust, you don’t have to. But on a serious note, I wanna ask you something.”
He nodded once, humor fading. “Aight. Go ‘head.”
“Do you know someone named Byron? He was known in the streets as Banga.”
He stilled, and the room went quiet. Not in a way where I felt like he was searching for an answer but more like he was giving me a minute to sit with my question before replying.
“I don’t speak on the dead as if they’re still present, Ma. So, yes, I knew a Banga.”
I swallowed hard before asking my next question. “Did you kill him?”
“No. I put a bullet in his head, but he ultimately killed himself.”
His honesty should have scared me. Instead, it drew me to him.
“Banga was my ex-boyfriend. The one who liked to box. I was on the phone with him the night he died.” I searched Aura’s eyes for a reaction and got nothing.
“I heard your name and then the shots. And I’ve been trying to keep my distance ever since.
But you, you, Aura Sullivan, just won’t leave me alone.
You’re everywhere. Even in my thoughts although I try my damnedest not to think about you.
I figured if I avoided you, then I could somehow erase what happened.
But how can I avoid you when you show up time after time?
The car for my birthday. The just because flowers.
Popping up at the diner to see how my day is going and a host of other shit.
How do I embrace you when I know about that night? ”
“The same way I embraced you the moment I found out you were tied to him.” The response was simple, but I was having a hard time digesting it.
Placing my hands on the edge of the counter, I tightened my fingers around it.
“So, you’ve known who my ex was this whole time?
Did you kill him to prove something to me?
” I regretted my question the moment it came out of my mouth.
Aura wasn’t even that type of nigga. And by the look on his face, I knew he was highly offended.
“Danae, there’s a few things you should know about me.
I would break a nigga neck if he ever breathed wrong in your presence.
I’d shoot a nigga in the face if he looked at you wrong.
It don’t take much for me. But what I’d never do is kill a nigga behind some pussy that don’t belong to me.
I didn’t know anything about you until that cokehead, thieving ass nigga was dead and gone.
And I only looked into you once I decided you were gonna be a permanent fixture in my life. ”
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Because I don’t make it a habit of holding conversations about other niggas, especially if it ain’t no money involved, and I got better shit to talk about.”
“Aura, do you not understand that I’ve been carrying this around? Running from…”
“Me,” he said quietly, making my heart ache.
“Running from my feelings. Scared that if you knew that I’d been on the phone that night, you’d see me different.
Scared to be open to loving you back because a part of me is still fucked up behind that relationship.
And despite the pain it brought me, I feel somewhat guilty for wanting to love you knowing what happened. ”
His eyes darkened, not with anger but with intense emotion.
“First off, you ain’t gotta feel guilty ‘bout a muthafuckin’ thing when it comes to a nigga that didn’t give a fuck about your well-being.
From today forward, you ain’t letting him rent no more space in your head.
You know why? Cause you gon’ be too busy thinkin’ ‘bout what country you wanna travel to, what car you wanna drive on a Tuesday, what property you wanna invest in. And even more important, what colors you want our bridal party to wear for the wedding.” He put both hands on my hips and turned my body so that I was fully facing him.
“Aura, I’m scared.”
“You don’t have to be, Ma. You already experienced the worst version of love. This that good shit over here. And I ain’t just talking ‘bout the dick I’ma be putting on you.”
“Oh, please.” I went to push him back, and he pulled me to him by the hem of my blazer.
“Lock in wit’ me, Ma. Let me love on you without you pushing me away. I don’t care about what you heard or what you witnessed. What I did had to be done. And yes, I’d do it again. It’s my job to protect. Whether it be my family or my business, I’ma do that.”
“And does protecting me mean I’m dragged more into your world?”
Wrapping his hands around my waist, he leaned in to kiss my forehead. I didn’t try to pull back this time.
“I won’t drag you. I’ll lead from a place of understanding. And if at any point you decide that this is too much for you, I’ll free you of me.”
I laughed softly. “I just don’t see that happening.”
“Real shit. I’d hate it, but your happiness means more to me than my need to be the reason you’re happy.”
His declaration made something shift inside me, and my arms found their way around his neck. Aura towered over me at an even six feet. I stared into his deep brown eyes and allowed myself to fully take him in. To feel for him openly.
“You knew and still loved me anyway. I have so many thoughts in my head that I still need to sort out, but I want to give us a chance. I think…”
I was cut off by him pressing his lips against mine. The kiss was soft, mixed with a hint of balanced aggression.
“You ain’t gotta think when I’m around, Nae. Just focus on existing. I got the rest, aight?”
“Okay,” I replied, giving my brain a break and letting my heart speak for me.