chapter twenty
kira
I stop breathing. He must mean as a friend, right? We’re just friends. We’ve always been just friends.
“Jared—”
“I love you, Kira, and I have loved you for a really long time,” he says, his voice hoarse. He’s been drinking, but the look in his eyes is genuine, pleading. How do I respond to that? I love him to death, but not in the way I think he’s hoping.
Without warning, his hand reaches up to cup my face as he crashes his lips onto mine. It’s a sloppy kiss, his tongue pushing in through my lips. I can taste the alcohol on him, and it instantly turns my stomach. That familiar fear rises inside me, and my heart starts to race.
“Jared, wait,” I say, pushing him off me.
I steady my breathing, and his features quickly morph from confusion to pained realization.
“You don’t feel the same way?”
It’s more of a statement than a question. The hurt swirling in his eyes is evident, the alcohol enhancing the intensity of his emotions. I would do anything to make it go away.
“Jared, you know I love you…” I trail off, trying to reassure him.
“As a friend, right?” he snaps, his sudden attitude jarring me.
“I’ve always been there for you, Kira, through everything,” he says, his voice breaking on the last word.
He doesn’t even know the half of it. I am eternally grateful for everything he’s done for me. He was there for me through the thick of my PTSD and depression without even knowing what caused it.
“I haven’t listened to anything the guys say about you because I know you. I fucking love you, Kira.”
That shocks me. What is he talking about?
“What do they say?”
“That’s what matters to you?” he says, his voice louder now.
Shaking his head, he slides onto his feet, looking at me with an intensity I’ve never seen from him before.
“Maybe they’re right,” he says, turning away. “You should find a different ride home,” he adds before leaving the barn altogether.
It’s not until he’s gone that I realize I’m shaking. He’s hurt, I know that, but I’ve never seen that side of him, and it scares me. A tear rolls down my face as I pull out my phone and tap Noah’s contact. Hopefully, he’s still awake. It only rings once before he answers.
“Hey Kira, what’ s up? ” he says, his deep voice immediately calming my nerves.
“Would you be able to come get me?”
I feel like a child having him pick me up from a party, but I don’t care. I need to get out of here.
“Of course, princess. Why, what happened? Where’ s Jared? ”
His voice grows increasingly worried. I can hear him grabbing his keys on the other end of the line.
“I’ll tell you when you get here.”
“Are you okay?” he asks, concern filling his voice.
“I’m fine, I promise.”
“Sit tight. I’ll be there in ten,” he says before hanging up.
The drive should take longer than ten minutes, but somehow, I know Noah isn’t going to pay attention to speed limits tonight. I head to the front of the driveway to wait for him, sitting on the stairs of the house. No one seems to be home. All of the partygoers are back down at the barn. The air is cold on my bare skin, and it feels like forever, but exactly nine minutes later, a truck pulls into the drive.
I recognize the all-black F150 that speeds to a stop in front of me, and before I can even stand, he’s shutting his door and striding toward me.
“What happened?” he demands, his dark hair falling into his face as he looks down at me. His eyes roam over my body, and it takes me a second before I realize he’s checking to see if I’m hurt.
“Let’s just get in the truck,” I say, standing up and moving toward him, trying to avoid a scene.
“Nope, you’re telling me what happened. Why isn’t Jared bringing you home? What the fuck is he thinking leaving you on your own like this?”
“For the last time, Noah, I can handle myself. Plus, he doesn’t want anything to do with me tonight.”
“ Kira, ” he orders.
I could keep pushing. I don’t know if I even want to tell him, but I need to go home, and he won’t let me until he knows.
“He told me that he’s in love with me,” I say matter-of-factly.
Noah’s jaw ticks, his posture stiffening. I might be crazy, but there’s a hint of jealousy in those dark eyes.
“And what did you say?” he asks, his voice strained.
I step closer to him, resting my hand on his chest. His heart is racing, his breathing ragged. Trailing my hand down his body, I bring my eyes to his.
“I told him the truth. I told him I love him, but not like that. He didn’t like it and told me to find a ride home.”
His eyes narrow at that, his body tensing.
“Where is he?” he demands, stepping past me toward the house. I grab his arm, stopping him. The last thing I need is for Noah to crash this party.
“Just leave it alone. Let him cool off. He’s allowed to be upset.”
A long sigh leaves his lips, and he reluctantly turns back toward me, his features softening.
“But that doesn’t mean he can leave you alone without a ride home.”
“Just don’t, please,” I beg. “I already feel bad enough that I hurt him, and the worst part is, on top of not wanting him, I’m fucking his dad behind his back,” I say, expressing the guilt that’s been eating at me since Jared’s admission. He loves me, but I want his dad. How can I do that to him?
“Is that all we’re doing?” Noah asks, closing the distance between us. My back is to the truck door now, the cool metal pressed against my hot skin, his masculine scent enveloping me.
“Just fucking?” His voice is lower now as he looks down at me.
“No–I don’t know, Noah,” I say, my voice unsure. “Can it be more than that?”
He’s silent for a moment, and my brain immediately goes to the worst-case scenario. Maybe that’s all he wants. Maybe that’s for the best. I’ve already hurt Jared enough. Before I can spiral completely, his hand reaches up to cup my face, gently directing me to look at him.
“All I know is that I’m not letting you go. You’re mine.”
His words stir up feelings that I’m afraid to let myself truly feel. This isn’t going to end well. There’s no way it can, but fuck if I don’t want to be his.
He pulls me into him, his fingers lacing into my hair as he kisses my forehead. The night’s emotions melt away at the feeling of him around me.
“Let’s get you home, princess.”
Opening the passenger door, Noah helps me up into the truck.
It’s nearly pitch black outside as we make our way back home. Music plays quietly on the radio, and I can tell that Noah is still pissed. His jaw keeps clenching and unclenching, and he’s gripping the steering wheel like it will run away if he lets go.
“I can’t fucking believe he left you like that,” he grumbles as his right-hand moves to rest on my thigh.
Letting out a breath, I look at him. For some reason, his anger doesn’t scare me. It never has.
“Anything could have happened to you. What was he thinking?”
Jared has never talked to me like that, and he damn sure has never left me to fend for myself surrounded by strangers, but I really hurt him. I can’t blame him for his reaction.
“Noah, It’ s fine. I ’m okay,” I reassure him, letting my fingers trace over the ink on his forearm.
“That’s not the point, Kira. What if I didn’t get there soon enough?”
“But you did.”
Sighing, he focuses back on the road. “You should have stayed home with me.”
I almost wish I had, but then my mind goes back to Amelia. What would have happened if no one was there for her? My stomach turns. Resting my head on the window, I’m silent for the rest of the drive.
“I’m going to shower,” I tell Noah as I head inside toward the stairs. Footsteps follow me, and as I reach the bathroom door, I turn to find him standing behind me.
“What are you doing?” I ask.
“Showering.”
I pause, my eyes meeting his hazel ones, and my heart skips a little in my chest. Showering with someone feels so intimate. Thoughts of Jared from earlier fill my mind, and I know we shouldn’t. I hurt him. I’m still hurting him, and he doesn’t even know. We shouldn’t be doing this, but I can’t stop myself.
“Only if you want,” he adds, his hand grazing the top of my thigh. This is his way of making sure I’m comfortable, and I love that about him. He won’t ever do anything that I don’t want. That knowledge makes my decision even easier.
“ Come on. ”
The bathroom is small, not leaving much room for the two of us. Noah reaches over to turn the water on before letting his eyes fall back on me.
He steps closer and slides his fingers under the hem of my shirt, looking at me for permission. I quickly nod, not letting my gaze leave his. The feel of his fingers on my bare skin ignites a desire deep within me.
“Just so you know,” he starts, pulling my shirt over my head and letting it drop to the floor.
“This isn’t just fucking for me.”
I don’t have time to process his admission before his hands are back on me, pulling my skirt down over my hips, leaving me in only panties.
Unable to take it anymore, I reach up and pull him to me, kissing him softly. He reacts, deepening the kiss and pressing his body into mine. My back touches the cold tile wall as his hand grazes up my inner thigh to the edge of my underwear. Sucking in a breath, I slide my hands under his shirt, feeling the hard lines of his muscles right as he glides his hand over my pussy, earning a whimper from me.
Breaking the kiss, he pulls off his own shirt before unbuttoning his jeans. Fuck, he’s gorgeous. He runs his fingers up my legs, pulling my panties down.
“Get in before the water gets cold,” he orders as he pulls back the shower curtain for me to enter.
The hot water immediately soothes muscles I didn’t even know were aching until now. Noah steps into the shower directly behind me, his hand reaching around and resting on my lower belly.
I shudder, the feeling of his rough fingers brushing over me igniting small infernos on my skin. I want him, and he seems to sense it, sliding his hand up over my breasts to grip my throat.
“Already so needy,” he growls into my ear, my legs going weak from the sound.
His hot breath brushes that place right below my ear as he kisses and nips down my neck. Pressing his hips into me, I can feel the hardness of him against my back as his other hand slides up to my chest, rolling my nipple between his fingers. Fuck, he knows my body so well. A loud moan escapes my lips, but I’m silenced by his starved mouth meeting mine.
The kiss is rougher this time, less controlled. I dart my tongue out, gliding it over his as his hand slides down to my pussy, his fingers dipping into my entrance, only deep enough to collect the wetness there.
“Fuck, princess, you’re already ready for me,” he praises as he pushes deeper, eliciting a moan from me. His fingers work into me expertly, and I lean into him, grinding my hips into his hand. I reach behind me, taking his hard cock in my hand, needing to feel him.
“Noah, I need you inside me,” I plead.
He sucks in a breath as I start to glide my hand over him, brushing my thumb over the tip.
“Not until you come for me,” he grits, spinning me around to face him.
Dropping to his knees, he grips my thighs, pulling me to him. Before I can register what he’s doing, his mouth is on me, his tongue flat, licking my entire pussy. I yelp, tangling my fingers into his hair.
His tongue feels so fucking good as he swirls it over me, causing my grip to tighten, pleasure coiling deep in my core. He grunts, pulling my clit between his teeth. A warning. I ignore it, tugging harder.
A deep chuckle vibrates over my pussy as two fingers push into me. I nearly scream at the intrusion, pleasure shooting through my body. It doesn’t take long before I’m about to come around his fingers. My eyes flutter closed as my head falls back.
“Eyes on me, Kira,” he commands.
I obey surprised by his use of my name. My eyes lock on his as I tumble over the edge, muttered curses on my lips.