chapter thirty
noah
“You should be at home resting,” I say, looking over at Dave. He’s hobbling beside me in a cast and crutches. He’s still in pain, that fact evident by the way he winces with each step. It’s only been a few days since the fire, and the brace on my left wrist reinforces that.
“I told you, I’m just visiting,” Dave answers.
My eyes narrow on him and my intuition tells me something’s up. I open the station door for him, and he enters. I follow close behind him, my senses on high alert. The room is dark, which shouldn’t be the case, and I don’t see anyone. What is going on—
“ Surprise! ” All the guys shout in unison, or at least as close to that as they can get. A banner that reads ‘congratulations’ hangs over the doorway to the kitchen.
“What is this for?” I ask, confusion written on my face.
“We got a new fire commissioner,” Jeff explains, giving me that notorious Jeff look that tells me he knows something I don’t.
My brows knit together as I step further inside. Glancing over my shoulder at Dave, I give him a questioning look. A smirk is all I get in response. What do they know that I don’ t?
I scan the room, looking for Al, but I don’t see him.
“Where’ s Al? ” I ask Jeff.
“Oh, that’s right. I was supposed to tell you that he wants to speak with you in your—I mean his office.”
I’m not sure I like the direction this is taking, but I listen anyway, walking through the kitchen to the back office. He’s seated at his desk, exactly where I expect him to be.
“Jeff said you wanted to see me. What is all of this?”
“Just a welcome back party.”
“They said there’s a new commissioner,” I deadpan.
A smile grows on his face, his gray beard stretching.
“There is. I’m looking right at him,” he says.
I shake my head. “I already told you I’m not the right guy for the position. There’s got to be someone else better suited.”
I’m not trying to be humble or fish for compliments. It’s the truth. I don’t deserve that position. I’m not Al.
“Who are you kidding, boy? You are the only one suited for this position. Everyone knows it,” he says, his hands waving in the air for emphasis. “What is stopping you from accepting that?”
I can’t help but remember them. That kid’s parents. The look on their faces when I had to tell them that their son wouldn’t make it. I don’t deserve that role because I didn’t save him, and a better firefighter would’ve. Al must see the pain on my face because he sighs.
“Noah,” he starts.
“Trust me, it should go to someone else,” I interrupt.
“Will you shut up for a minute?”
That stops me in my tracks. My jaw tightens as his face softens.
“I need to tell you something.”
I stay silent, not wanting to be scolded again, and at my lack of response, he continues.
“It was 1991. I was an experienced officer at that point, and the call sounded routine—a car accident on US 31. The driver was drunk and had swerved into oncoming traffic. When we got there, the scene was horrific. The drunk driver hit another car head-on, and in the process of trying to avoid the collision, the other car was upside down on the side of the road. When I got to it, I knew it wasn’t good. The woman in the driver’s seat was unresponsive.”
He pauses, taking a breath.
“There were two kids in the backseat: A five-year-old and a ten-year-old. They were conscious and screaming for help. I don’t think I’ll ever get their voices out of my head.”
He clears his throat, his eyes welling with tears.
“She didn’t make it, did she?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “No. And the kids didn’t have any other family. They were put into the state’s custody. The point is, we all have a story like that. We all have a ghost that follows us around our entire career. That’s part of the job. It’s what keeps us striving to do better. You did everything you could to save that kid. Sometimes, things happen for no good reason. It’s out of our control.”
His words hit deep. Logically, I know I did everything I could, but what if someone else could have done more?
“You earned this job. Not to mention what you did for Dave. You saved his life when you were told not to. Now, I can’t force you to take the job. You can say no, but then you’ll have to explain why to all those men out there, and they’ll be even harder to convince than me.”
God dammit, he might be right. What is my life amounting to if not this? Being a firefighter is part of what makes me who I am. I don’t have plans to stop anytime soon. These guys are like family, and I would do anything to keep them safe. Maybe it’s time I let myself have something for once.
“Fine, I’ll do it.”
“That’s what I thought,” Al says with a cocky grin. Misty-eyed, he claps his hand on my shoulder. “Now let’s go. You have a promotion to celebrate.”
When we finally head back to the party, we’re met with nearly the entire crew eavesdropping outside the door.
“What is there to eat? I’ m hungry, ” I say, brushing off the emotions still warring inside me.
I’m the new fire commissioner.
“Well, boss , we have the most delectable walking tacos in the state,” Dave says.
“I knew you were in on this,” I accuse.
I find Kira on the back porch when I get home. She’s on the phone, and I think Jared is on the other end. I’ m glad he ’s not shutting her out like he is me. She doesn’t deserve it.
“What do you mean he was arrested?” Kira asks. “What for?”
My eyes shoot to hers, and her face goes white. I rush over to her, trying to listen to the other end of the call. So help me, god, if that boy got arrested, but it is Jared’s voice on the other end.
“It was a fourteen-year-old girl. Her parents filed charges against him,” he explains.
She takes a couple of deep breaths, her hand shaking as she tries to hold the phone.
“Thank you for telling me,” she says, her voice cracking.
She hangs up the call, and her eyes, filled with tears, meet mine. Without a second thought, I pull her into me, running my fingers through her hair.
“Talk to me, princess. What happened?” I ask as I move my hands to her back.
Her jaw clenches as she looks at me, a mixture of emotions swimming in those brown eyes.
“They arrested him. Zach. He raped another girl,” she explains as the tears flow freely down her face. “She was only fourteen.”
My grip tightens around her. I should have killed him. She wipes her tears, frustration creeping onto her face.
“I should have tried harder. I should have fought that detective. Then he might not have been able to hurt that girl.”
“Kira, don’t blame yourself for this. None of this was your fault. It’s not your responsibility to protect the public from that asshole,” I tell her, needing her to hear me.
“It’s not your fault,” I repeat.
She nods into my chest, taking a moment before looking up at me. She’s so beautiful, even like this.
“You’re right. I won’t let him have that power over me again.” She sniffles, and I wipe the tear that falls.
“That’s my girl.”
She smiles up at me, and my heart melts. She is so resilient. So strong.
“Well, how was your day?” she chuckles through her tears.
I eye her, and she knows exactly what I’m thinking.
“I will be okay, I promise. I just don’t want to think about that right now.”
“Well, it wasn’t too bad considering you’re looking at the new fire commissioner,” I say, finally feeling the pride that comes with that statement.
I still don’t entirely feel like I deserve it. Al is a fantastic boss, and there’s no way I can compare to him, but I am confident I will do everything possible to be a good leader to our crew. For the first time in a long time, I’m moving forward instead of staying stagnant.
“That’s amazing, Noah,” Kira squeals, her face lighting up.
The admiration in her eyes almost brings me to my knees. I run my thumb over her lips, comprehending just how lucky I am. Unable to resist, I press my mouth to hers. Her lips are soft, and the kiss is slow. I grip her jaw with my hand, kissing her harder. Her hand comes up to my chest, pushing me back.
“We need to celebrate. Let’s go out to dinner tonight,” she breathes.
I groan, mourning the loss of her kiss. I would much rather stay in. I can think of plenty of ways to celebrate with only the two of us, but something in her eyes catches my attention.
“If you don’t want to, I get it. People might judge,” she says.
Does she think I don’t want to be seen with her? If so, she’s crazy. I grab her chin, forcing her to look at me.
“I would love to get dinner with you,” I tell her. “Now go put on one of those little dresses and meet me downstairs in fifteen.”
A blush creeps onto her cheeks, and she nods.