Chapter 19
Chapter Nineteen
After a quick shower and change, Andy and Kat walked into the big house. If it weren’t for the promise of barbecued ribs with corn on the cob and all the fixings, Andy might have found an excuse to beg off the dinner. And judging by how exhausted Kat looked, too, he wasn’t the only one, which was the real reason he was there. Kat needed support, and as long as she did, he’d give it to her.
He gave her an encouraging smile and swallowed back the urge to squeeze her ass as they walked through the foyer into the bustling kitchen, where they were greeted with hugs from the women.
“I didn’t think we were going to see you two today,” Charli said. Without asking, she handed them each a glass of water while Lucy put a bowl of chips out for them. “You must be exhausted.”
“I’ve heard about that hike,” Noa, Asher’s new fiancée, said with a shake of her head. “You two must have trained for a long time.”
“Not so much,” Kat said with a mouthful of chips.
“But we did it.” Andy reached for some chips. “And you killed it, Kat. Really, that scramble at the end is no joke.”
“Thanks, Andy. I couldn’t have done it without you.”
They locked eyes, and Andy held her gaze for a moment longer than he probably should have.
It was Annie who cleared her throat and pulled his attention away.
Andy shook his head and chuckled. “I think I’m half asleep.” He looked around at the women, who all watched him with various expressions on their faces. He silently cursed himself for letting his guard down when it came to Kat. He needed to remember that they were just friends. Especially where her family was concerned.
He pushed himself up from the chair. “Where are all the guys? Out at the smoker?”
“You know it,” Lucy said. “I swear, I’ve never seen men so excited for meat.”
Andy laughed. “Obviously you haven’t spent enough time around smoked food. I, for one, am very excited about dinner. But I am going to go in search of a beer.”
He knew none of them would object, and as much as he wanted to check on Kat before he left, he didn’t dare risk a glance in her direction.
Andy found the men just where he’d expected they’d be: gathered on the deck, watching the smoker. “It smells amazing out here.” He grabbed a nearby chair and collapsed into it before Symon handed him a beer. “Thanks. This is either going to wake me up or put me to sleep.”
“I heard you were hiking Pulpit Peak today.” Asher pulled up a chair and joined him. “Was that?—”
“I know what you’re going to ask.” Andy stopped him. “And before you do, please direct any and all questions to your sister.”
“Pulpit Peak, huh?” Chase said. “That was on her list?”
“I told you?—”
“I’m not asking,” Chase interrupted. “Just guessing.” He nodded, satisfied with his own explanation. “That’s a hard hike.”
“Dad did talk about it,” Craig joined in. “I actually remember him and Kat talking about doing it together one day. That was years ago, but it makes sense if it was on the list.”
They all nodded in agreement.
“Good for you for doing it with her,” Symon said. “I don’t think I would be up to a climb like that right now. Not without training all summer.”
“Interesting.” Andy shot him a look. “Maybe I should put that in the training protocol for the team?” Just as quickly as he said it, he shook his head, dismissing the idea. “Except we can’t risk anybody getting hurt in that scramble.” He looked at Symon. “But if you’re ever up for it…”
“Oh yeah? You’d do it again?”
“Hell no.” Andy laughed. “I was going to suggest you take one of these guys. They all look like they could use the challenge. ”
The conversation quickly devolved into challenges about who was in better shape than who, and Andy relaxed into the evening. Being around the Carlsons was good for his soul. These guys were all like brothers to him. He’d do anything for them.
Apparently that also included pushing the feelings that were growing stronger and more dangerous with each passing moment, further down. But if that’s what it took to keep his family , he’d do it.
Dinner was delicious, and Kat ate way too much. But then again, she’d more than earned it.
“More ribs, Kat?”
She reached for the platter Charli held out before snatching her hand back and shaking her head. “I want to. They were delicious. But I may explode if I do.”
Charli laughed. “I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen you eat so much. And I mean that in the best possible way.”
“She earned it,” Andy said from across the table as he took the platter from Charli. “And so did I.” He wiggled his eyebrows and heaped more meat on his plate.
“Speaking of the hike…” Asher refilled Noa’s wine glass before topping up his own. “We’ve already kind of guessed that climbing Pulpit Peak was on your list.”
“You did, did you?” She crossed her arms and leaned back. She probably shouldn’t take so much joy in it, but Kat couldn’t seem to help herself. She knew Asher especially was likely going crazy not knowing what was on her list. “Good guess.”
“Come on, Kat.” It was Craig who finally lost his patience. “Are you really not going to tell us what Dad asked you to do? Really?”
She took her time and looked at each of her siblings in turn, as well as all their significant others. The family dinners really were getting bigger. Each of her siblings had not only completed their specific tasks assigned by their deceased father, but they’d also done so while finding love.
Kat had to force herself not to look at Andy, because love wouldn’t be in the cards for them. The thought made her suddenly very sad, but it was probably just the exhaustion.
It was also the exhaustion that led to her finally relenting.
“Okay,” she said after a minute. “I’ll tell you.”
Almost everyone spoke at once.
“Really?”
“Finally!”
But it was one voice that pulled her attention. She finally blinked and looked at Andy, who watched her with a look of such genuine concern that she almost changed her mind.
“You’re sure, Kat?” he asked again.
“Why wouldn’t she be sure?” It was Chase who spun on Andy. “We’re family.”
“Besides,” Craig added. “You already know.”
All heads turned to look at Andy then .
“You know?” Asher looked between Andy and then Kat. “You told him?”
She really was far too tired to deal with this. Especially if her brothers were going to get all territorial about it.
“Yes, I told him,” she said with a deep sigh. “I told Andy because he offered to help me out with everything.” She held up a hand to stop any objections. “I’m not allowed to have any family help, but as much as we all think otherwise, technically Andy isn’t family.” She made the mistake of looking at her friend Annie, who had a wry grin on her face.
Kat looked away. “So yes, Andy knows what’s on the list but it’s not a big secret. Not really. I just needed some time to absorb it all.” It had to be because she was so tired, but still it annoyed her that she felt tears threatening.
“It’s okay, Kat.” Charli reached across the table and took her hand. “There’s no right way to handle this kind of thing.”
That was true. But yet, each of them had already handled their turns and survived. And for the last few years, while she was watching Chase, Charli, Craig, and Asher, selfishly, she’d hardly even thought about how hard it might all be for them. She’d been so focused on when it would be her turn.
And here she was, completely overwhelmed by it all. Still, that didn’t mean she should keep them all in the dark. They had a right to know.
“There are a few things on the list. And with Andy’s help, I’ve already taken care of two of them. I think I wanted to get the scary ones out of the way first.” There was one scarier thing, but she didn’t feel like sharing that particular detail right away.
“So we know you climbed Pulpit,” Craig said. “I still can’t actually believe you did that one without more training.” He shook his head. “Especially with a bad wrist.”
“I hiked with my feet, Craig.” Kat rolled her eyes, and Lucy laughed.
Craig shot his fiancée a look before blowing her a kiss.
“But yes, that was a scary one, and I’m willing to bet that Dad didn’t think I’d tackle that one right away either. But I’m glad I did.” She locked eyes with Andy. There was no way she would have been able to conquer such a feat without him.
He gave her a slight nod of acknowledgment.
“You said you’d done two.” Asher was impatient. “So what else did you do?”
With her eyes still locked on Andy, Kat let herself remember the night they’d jumped off the bridge together, and everything that happened afterward, but only for a moment before she forced herself to look away.
“We jumped off a bridge.”
“What the?—”
“Cool!”
“Kat!”
“That’s crazy!”
Her head bounced around the table, as everyone reacted to her confession. But ultimately, Kat’s gaze landed on the single most excited person in the room: Grady, Annie’s nephew was staring at her with wide eyes .
“Cool,” he said again, and Kat laughed.
“It was kinda cool.”
She could say that now, especially considering the kiss she’d shared with Andy as they’d bounced around in the air—not that she planned to share that particular bit of information.
“You did not jump off a bridge.” Charli put her glass down with such a thump that the baby she was holding in her arms stirred and started to fuss. With her voice lower, she added, “Tell me you didn’t do that, Kat?”
In response, Kat merely shrugged. “It was either that or jump out of a plane.”
It was the wrong thing to say. The room erupted in chaos, with her siblings all roaring in displeasure. The baby started to cry, and Grady jumped from his chair, little Meri close behind, and they used the opportunity to slip from the room to escape any after-dinner chores.
Somehow, through the chaotic noise, Kat made eye contact with Andy, who lifted his hands and shrugged. She shook her head, and then, with too many emotions rolling through her, she pressed her lips together and inhaled into her cheeks, puffing them up before squeezing her eyes shut.
Uh oh.
Andy knew that look. Kat was about to crack, and he knew her well enough to know that it would be a full meltdown. Especially given how exhausted she was .
Andy moved quickly around the table and crouched next to Kat’s chair. He put his hand on her thigh and squeezed. “It’s okay, Kat.”
She didn’t open her eyes but shook her head in response.
“They’re just surprised. And you’re tired. There’s nothing here to get upset about.” He spoke softly, but quickly, directly into her ear so only she could hear. “Wait until they hear you say something in Spanish.”
It was the right thing to say. Kat blew out a breath that turned into a laugh. She opened her eyes and looked at him as she gave in to the laughter.
Around them, the others had settled down a little, possibly even realizing that their sensitive little sister might be on the verge of an epic breakdown. Not that Andy was going to stop to check on any of them. His only concern was Kat. It was always Kat.
“Hola, mi amiga,” he whispered into her ear, and she burst out into a fresh round of hysterics. This time he joined in.
The two of them were so caught up in their private joke that it took them a moment to notice that the room had grown silent, and all eyes were on them.
Andy worked hard to swallow his laughter. He cleared his throat and waited for Kat to do the same. When they were both under control, it was Craig who spoke first.
“I’m glad you both think it’s hysterical that you risked your life by jumping off a bridge.” He crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Andy as if it were his fault that Kat jumped off a bridge .
Before he could defend himself, Kat spoke up. “Don’t get your panties in a twist, brother. It was totally safe.”
It had been safe. But also terrifying. Andy didn’t think it was going to help matters to say that out loud, so he kept his mouth shut.
“It’s not like we tied a random bungee cord around our legs and jumped off a bridge without any safety equipment.” Kat rolled her eyes and reached for her glass of water. “We went to the professionals. It was all totally legit. We were really lucky that they got us in so quickly, too. Because we just kind of made the?—”
“We?” Chase looked past Kat, directly at Andy. He also crossed his arms over his chest and glared.
Again, before Andy could say anything, Kat spoke up. “Yes, we. I told you, Andy is helping me out with my list. And thank goodness he did, too. Because you guys are all acting ridiculous about this. It’s not like bungee jumping isn’t safe. People do it every day and don’t die.” Charli started to speak up, but Kat cut her off. “Besides, I didn’t have a choice. It’s on the list. Would you rather I didn’t do it at all and forfeited?”
That shut them all up. Andy faked a cough to hide his smile, but Craig still shot him a look as he stood from his position crouching next to Kat and took the chair Meri had vacated. “Can I just say something really quickly?”
All eyes, including Kat’s, turned in his direction. “I think you all know me well enough to know how much I care about Kat.” He didn’t risk looking in her direction. “I care about all of you as if you were my own family,” he added quickly.
“You are family, Andy.” Asher tipped his head, and the others all murmured their agreement.
“So please trust me when I tell you all that I will never let anything happen to Kat. She was never in danger, and she never will be. I’ll be sure of it.”
Next to him, Kat laughed. “Which is easy to say because we’re done with all the dangerous things now.”
“So does that mean you’re going to tell us the rest?” Charli, who’d handed baby Poppy off to Symon, leaned her elbows on the table and stared at her sister. “ Finally ?”
Kat took a deep breath and looked at him.
Andy gave her a smile of encouragement. He didn’t fully understand her hesitation to tell them about the list, but he did know that Kat’s relationship with Michael Carlson had been special, and he could appreciate that once she shared the list with them all, it would no longer be completely hers and hers alone.
“I’ll clear the table.” Andy gave Kat’s shoulder a quick squeeze as he stood. “Give you all a few minutes.”
“I was being silly, wasn’t I?”
Kat was draped across Andy’s naked chest while his fingers traced patterns on her bare back after having just given her an incredible orgasm.
After the physical exertion of the hike, followed by an even more emotionally exhausting conversation with her family, Kat had been sure she would fall asleep the moment her head hit the pillow.
And she probably would have, if it wasn’t for the way Andy had kissed her goodnight. Something about the way his lips felt on hers, never mind his hands on her skin, had woken her up. And she was not complaining.
“When? A few minutes ago? I would not call that reaction silly.”
“No. Not that.” She pushed up so she could look in his eyes and see the sparkle of mischief there, letting her know he was teasing. “There was definitely nothing silly about that.” She bit her lower lip, and he groaned before pulling her back down to him.
She let him stroke her hair and twist his fingers through the strands before she spoke again. “I meant about the list. Was I being silly keeping it to myself?”
“Do you feel like it was silly?”
She hesitated, but only for a moment. “No.”
“Then that’s the only answer you need.”
Kat shifted so their mouths were only inches apart.
“You have to trust your instincts, Kitty Kat. This is your journey. And you get to do it however you want. If you want to tackle everything on your list right away and get it all done, you can. But if you want to take your time and give yourself the whole six months, that’s okay, too. And the same goes for who you tell about it. It’s up to you. No one has any right to tell you how to deal with it. Not even your brothers and Charli. ”
She nodded slowly. Andy was right. Still, she’d seen how happy they were to finally know what was on the bucket list. And even happier to know that the dangerous items had already been crossed off. It felt good to know that she’d relieved some of their worry. At least a little bit.
In fact, their response to learning that she only had a few minor or easy things to cross off had been almost dismissive.
But Kat hadn’t been completely truthful with them. Although she’d told them about the karaoke, the cooking lessons, the art lessons and the second language, she’d kept the last thing to herself and hadn’t mentioned the overnight backpacking trip.
“Thank you for saying that.” She kissed his cheek. “It’s kind of funny really, because on one hand, I waited for so long for it to be my turn, that I feel like I should just hurry and be done with it.”
“And on the other hand?”
She let her lips curl up into a sly smile. “On the other hand, I really want it to last.”
Andy let his hands slid down to rest on her hips, his fingers splayed over her naked ass.
“That makes two of us, Kitty Kat.”
Andy lifted his head and kissed her softly before rolling them both over until he was wrapped around her. He held her close against him and whispered in her ear. “Rest now. It was a big day.”
Kat let her eyes drift closed. Warmed by Andy’s body holding her tight, she knew it wouldn’t be long before she gave in to the sleep that threatened. But before she did, she tried to freeze the moment in her mind and her heart.
He’d told her to trust herself, but that was the whole problem. She wasn’t sure she could. Because her mind was screaming at her to push Andy away before she got hurt, and her heart knew it was already too late.
Kat didn’t want her six months to end, because as long as her list wasn’t complete, she could pretend that what she and Andy were doing together was real.