13. Maggie
13
maggie
Vegas
12 years later
I shake my ass because it’s so fun, and I forgot how much I need to just dance it out. We’re clubbing, and that does not happen with my best friend often. Married life, teaching second grade, and crafting keeps me pretty damn busy. A collage or diamond art takes longer than you might expect. There’s a very hot couple having sex on the dance floor, right in front of us. That takes talent to convince someone to do that. He’s got her skirt up and she kind of, wow, that’s impressive.
I swing around and get Mak’s attention to show her the couple getting off like two feet from us. My heart leaps as a tall, dark-haired man stares at me. His intense befuddled look and soulful, blue-grey eyes greet me with a huge smile. This is insane. I wave, and he walks up behind my forever bestie, Makenzie, and puts his arms around her. She spins around in his arm cage, then screams, “ Danny !”
We both throw our arms around him. We can barely hear as he tries to tell us something. Then points off the floor. He grabs the hot guy who just finished up dance floor sex, and I see a resemblance. They share the same smirk. Danny grabs Mak’s hand, and I grab the other one as he pulls us towards some raised tables.
Mak turns back and says in my ear, “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He’s with Tony. Tony!” Mak hasn’t seen or spoken to Tony in twelve years since she ghosted him at his 18th birthday party. This is awkward. Before we get to their table area, he stops. We can hear Hayden now and he hugs us again.
“This is my younger brother, Lawrence. Call him Law.”
His gorgeous smile explains how he got someone to agree to the dance floor penis mambo. He slides his hand around my back, and Danny slaps it away. “Off limits. Both of them. Go wash your hands. They’re our friends from Paris.”
Law says, “No shit. I will not remember your names. I’m very drunk we’re here for …”
Mak finishes his sentence. “Tony’s thirtieth.” She glances back toward Danny. “Yeah, I remember when his birthday is, Danny.”
Law laughs. “My brother doesn’t use that nickname anymore. He’s Hayden.”
The man I knew as an eighteen-year-old Danny explains, “Yeah, Danny was a high school nickname. Long story. Fuck. Lizzie is going to die.” I knew they got back together, about the name changes and that they’re living in France, according to all the pictures on social media. Colt and Tony make sporadic Instagram appearances. I’ve seen pictures of Gemma but have tried to avoid seeing Colt’s family. I looked once. I saw he had a second daughter, and I looked at their baby pictures in People Magazine. And I’ve never looked again. It was too painful.
Before I can stop him, Hayden’s dragging us toward some tables. I clutch Makenzie and yell back at her. “They’re all here. All of them.”
They all have to be here since I see Tony and a man who looks like Tony, who must be his brother. And then I see him.
Mak mutters, “Fuck.” I bite my lips and she wipes stray mascara from under my eyes. “We’ll be ok.” I kiss her cheek.
Colt stands up and points at me like a man in a horror movie who has seen a ghost. I guess that’s what we are to each other. Hayden trips a little up the stairs and there are half empty giant bottles of vodka, gin and Scotch all around.
Colt rocks back and forth, and I’ve never seen him this drunk. I’m sober from dancing and married. I’m very married, and so is he, and he’s here, and I’m going to pop up to say hello and go. It will all be fine.
He’s bouncing a little as I approach, and Tony shoves a woman off his lap and hands her a giant bottle of alcohol. Mak has a lot to say to that man. I turn around to my friend and point my finger in her face and say, “Don’t lie.”
She leans down to my ear. “I’ll give you this. I’ll try not to, but I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do with this rapid heart rate and raging lust.”
I giggle. “Same.”
Mak taps my ring finger with a mischievous gesture as we walk up a couple of steps. Without knowing what to do, I skip up to Tony and hug him.
“Happy Birthday!”
“Mags! This is my brother, Dax.” He gestures to the right. “And you might remember Colton from such places as your bed. Now, move woman so I can collect on destiny’s birthday present.” He’s only ever had eyes for Mak.
I’d worry for her if my life weren’t about to come crashing down around me. I flush a little red and smooth my twitching eyebrow. Colt’s huge, pearly white, beautiful smile stabs at every part of me.
Hayden plops down on a couch texting, then pulls Mak and me in for a picture. I’m sure it’s for Lizzie.
Then I shake my head and throw my heart to the wind. I toss my arms around Colt and his hand gets stuck between us and he’s wobbling. I don’t know where to put my head so I lean way out of his arms. It’s the most awkward hug ever. He grins before he touches my face briefly, then runs a finger over my twitchy brow.
“Sorry, had to know if you were real, or if the drinks were so much stronger and had something in them.”
“Holy shit.”
He nods quickly. “Holy shit indeed. I can’t with this. Maggie Fucking Curran. You’re Maggie. You’re here and you’re Maggie. My Maggie. Shit. Not mine.”
I pull back and put a finger into his chest. “No. Not your Maggie. But yes. It’s me.”
He’s as gorgeous but sharper. Like all the boy parts have morphed into this god of a man but he’s still him. Jeans and a rolled-up blue button down, simple, classic and deadly to me. Then pats the seat next to him like he did all those years ago. I inhale deeply and release my breath with yoga-like calm.
Hayden shows me a text from Lizzie while Colt pats the seat between them again. I ease into the seat, pressing against Hayden, bypassing Colt’s space.
“Meerkat, you’re so far away,” he yells over the driving beat and relentless synth. Mak and Tony are talking, and that’s a good thing. He needs to know she’s done a lot of good since she walked away from him. She had her reasons, but that’s her tale to tell.
Colt’s eyes are boring into me but now they’re not as sparkly or as full of life as they were, and I’m sure neither are mine. I pull down my black dress as far as it will go, probably ripping a seam or a hem or something as I yank it to moderately modest.
He picks up my hand and rubs his finger over my wedding ring, and I weakly smile at him. I can’t break his gaze. We’re saying all the things we can’t admit to right now. Our eyes have all the conversations we should have had, and we’re catching up on the pain of our lost years. We need to be beyond this if we’re going to survive this encounter.
‘I’m sorry.’
‘I miss you.’
‘You’re still the most beautiful person I’ve ever known or seen.’
‘I wish things were different.’
‘I still think about you all the time.’
‘What are you like now?’
‘Can I know you again?’
Our unspoken conversation ends, and I answer all of our longing and sadness with a way past it. I see the desperate hope in his eyes as they gleam over with tears. I love my husband, and Colt is married but the closure in this dark, loud, over-the-top club feels so close. It’s like I can breathe again for real.
I bite my tears back and lean into his ear and place my hand on his bicep, touching him for the first time in twelve years. I wish it didn’t feel electric.
“Wanna go get some noodles?” I don’t know what to do with my hands, or what to say, but I do know that noodles solve everything.
A laugh erupts from him as he hops to his feet. The music is loud, and I get up too. I hug everyone and then whisper in Mak’s ear.
“I’m going to grab a bite. Will you be here when I get back?”
She shakes her head. “I have to leave very fucking soon. This is too much. I’ll meet you back in the room.”
“I won’t be long. I just want to hear about the girls, and his life real quick.”
“Not worried. It’s you and the most stand-up human to ever walk the earth. Neither of you will do anything inappropriate.”
I laugh. She’s 100 percent correct. As we walk down the little stairs into the casino, his hand settles on my lower back. I wish I was a different girl.