17. Maggie
17
maggie
I’ve spent two weeks hiding in either my parent’s house or Mak and Tony’s. I don’t dare show my face, and my parents have mostly been spending time at their Tahoe house. They invited me, but it’s easier to wallow alone than have someone point out that I’m being melodramatic.
I’m sucking on a Popsicle. That’s all that’s in the house right now. I won’t order out because I don’t know if the delivery people know about the Kevin situation, and I don’t want to find out if they do. My mom comes into the living room. She told me she was popping home to pick up some extra chairs or something for the lake house.
“You’re watching that movie again?” I grin and point to Diane Lane. Her highlights look so good in the Tuscan sun.
She claps her hands together and it draws my attention. She pulls her lips into a tight hot pink line. “Dear, your aunt reminded me you did not get married on the rug.”
“That mat thing?”
“The red little carpet, yes. Everyone in our family has been married on it except you and Kevin.”
“Mom, I’m not getting divorced because we didn’t stand on the red threadbare carpet mat.”
She shrugs, “Who’s to say, dear. Now, we’re trying to explain all this to your aunt, and I keep getting it wrong. It’s not a triplet, right?”
“Throuple.”
“That’s it. Sweetie, you have to figure the rest of this out you know? Are you going back to work?” I shake my head.
“I just feel like such a fool, and everyone will look at me with those sympathy eyes. And Kevin works too close to school. My TA has taken over, and they have it covered. I have almost two years of vacation saved up because I taught summer school for the last ten years and well, the district owes me a leave of embarrassment.”
My mom chuckles and pulls me up into her arms. “Your dad and I are thrilled you have a new opportunity to live a different life. I know a couple of things have knocked you down.”
“You mean a throuple of things?”
“Sure. What will heal your heart? Bring back that spark we know you have, Maggie.”
“I have an idea.”
“Do it.”
“Just do it?”
“Sure. If you need help to make it happen, which I suspect you won’t, you can do anything, but we’ll be here. Waiting for your brother’s baby, but don’t tell his wife we know.”
I grin. “It’s exciting, but it’s so early. Mum’s the word. That’s the only thing that brings me joy. That and runny cheese. Oh, and wine. I like wine a lot these days.”
My mom laughs and lets me go. I flop back on the couch and decide to shower. “I’m going to stay at Mak’s tonight. She’s got the night off. We’re going to mask, and do eye treatments and?—”
“Drink too much wine?”
“No. Just enough. Enough to be giddy, but not enough that I feel sorry for myself again.”
“That’s just enough.” She stands up and pulls me into a hug. “I love you. Go find that damn spark. I don’t like this version of my daughter.”
“Will do, Mom.” I think I may know where to find some magic.
I swallow the last of the Joel Gott Chardonnay. It’s my favorite because it’s not oaked. I don’t think that matters, but I’ve concluded that I’m not always aware of what my favorite things are because I just let everyone else decide. But tonight, this one is my favorite. I picked it, and I drank it all. Mak pulls my feet in her lap.
“You’re better, and you’re worse.” Mak says.
I breathe in deeply and then sigh. I know what I want to do. I’ve cried and lumped on the couch for close to six weeks now, but since I have the summer off from teaching and a sabbatical due to me, I’m leaving. I have to figure out a way to get out of here or I’m going to cry.
“Make it better. Shake it up and off. You’ve given Kevin’s pickled balls way too much brain space in your head. Do something. Anything. This isn’t like you.”
“I know! He even took that from me.”
“Do anything but wallow.”
Tony enters with a fresh box of tissues and says, “I’ve got to jump back to Boston tonight, and Mak has night shifts this week at the hospital. You’re welcome to stay here.” I sit up.
“Can I go to Boston?” Colt flickers in the back of my mind. I want to be in the same city as him. Maybe I could start texting him again. It’s been a year since Kevin made me stop. Ironically, it’s about the time we moved back here and took up pickleball.
Maybe I cracked the bell first.
“Except that.” Mak says.
Tony grins, “Not such a great idea right now.”
“Give yourself some time.” Tony and Mak share a look. I’m not good at lying or hiding anything. They know exactly why I might want to go to Boston. Mak’s amazing at lying, but I’m kind of a ‘heart on the outside’ kind of gal. Mak and Tony exchange a look again. I’m not sure what is concerning, or if they want me out there because they want to have sex. I won’t call Colt. I get it. I’m in no shape for that complication.
I blurt out, “Then Canada. Can your plane take me to Canada after it drops you off in Boston?”
Tony nods. “Yes. But why?”
“I’ve never been there. Or used my passport since France.”
“Okay, then, Montreal? How does that sound?” Tony asks.
I leap up and kiss Mak on the cheek. “I love you. I’ll call you. I need my passport and a change of clothes.”
“Definitely a new plan. But that’s all you’re taking? Even as someone who thinks nothing through, this seems like a real sketchy idea. And completely not you.” Mak’s dark hair swings and brushes her shoulders as she shakes her head no.
“That’s exactly what I need, to be completely not me. Shake things up.” I toss my fist in the air. “I might take my laptop so I can watch all the movies he hates.”
Mak hugs me. “Fine but call me when you land. I’ll need you back here in a week. I’m off for three days, and Tony won’t be here. We’ll come up with a game plan. I’ll buy crafting shit, and we can make planners or something.” I grin as she hugs me again. “I love you.”
“Thanks Mak. Love you too. Both of you.”
Tony grins and takes me in his arms. “What’s not to love?”
The flight is quiet and as we land in Montreal, a thought smacks me in the head. Even with the promise of poutine, politeness and universal health care… Canada’s not enough.