Chapter One #2
We drank beer, talked about sports, and I played with the little ones. For the first time in years, I felt normal. Though at moments, I’d look around waiting for the guard to tell me time was up, then push me back in my cell.
I hadn’t realized the PTSD would kick in so quickly or that I’d actually have it. Although there are resources for reentry, they don’t help much with mental health. There’s no ‘therapy session’ that walks us through going back to civilian life. Basically, I’m just winging it.
It was often lonely. The only person I had actual conversations with was my cellmate, Archer.
We met three years ago, and before him, I didn’t talk much to anyone.
He has a few years left, and I told him to get in touch with me as soon as he’s released.
I even left him my new address in case he wanted to reach out.
Tomorrow, I’ll fly to Alabama, and Everleigh will pick me up from the airport.
I don’t have much packed. Liam was able to grab some things from my old apartment in Vegas, mostly clothes and some personal items. My sister’s letting me stay in her spare room, which is great for me, but I already feel like a burden.
Though she’s told me several times I’m not, it’s hard not to feel like a failure at life right now.
“The baby has been kicking all day.” Maddie waddles into my room and plops down on the bed. “He’s protesting you leaving.”
I pop a brow. “Is that so?”
She crosses her arms over her chest and frowns. “Yes. He wants to meet you as soon as he’s here.”
“You can video call me on my new phone. After the birth, though, please. Not during.”
Liam chuckles as he walks in holding baby Tyler, glancing at Maddie, then me. “Trust me, I wouldn’t do that to you.”
“It won’t be the same.” Maddie pouts. “But either way, you better answer when we call. No matter what.”
“I will, promise.”
She closes her eyes, and tears stream down her cheeks. It guts me to see her upset. I love Maddie and appreciate everything they’ve done for me, but I can’t stay. No matter how much she wants me to, I just can’t.
“Mads, don’t cry.” I lean over and wipe her cheek. “I’ll visit. We’ll text and talk on the phone. You’ll send me photos of your babies. I’ll video call and show you my hometown.”
She sniffs. “You better!”
“I will.”
Maddie cracks a smile, and I wrap my arms around her without adding too much pressure.
“How about I cook one more dinner for old times’ sake?” I grin.
“Not that spicy shit, though.” She points a finger at me, and I laugh. When I was her bodyguard in Montana, before she knew I was Liam’s friend, I made her one of my grandma’s Southern pasta dishes. Before I could warn her to stir in the seasonings, she took a large bite, and her tongue went numb.
“Whatever you want. Lady’s choice,” I offer, standing.
She follows me into the kitchen. “Mac ’n cheese mixed with carrots and cut-up Vienna sausages.”
I turn to Liam.
“Don’t ask.” He shakes his head. “She’s had the weirdest pregnancy cravings these past few months.”
“It’s not that weird!” she argues.
“I don’t know, Mads. That sounds like prison food.” I chuckle, grabbing a pan from the cabinet. “I’m pretty sure I’ve eaten it but made with generic shit and old powdered cheese.”
“Oh, we’re going fancy tonight. Kraft shells all the way and extra cheese on top.” Maddie grabs two boxes from the pantry, then shakes them in the air like maracas.
Soon, dinner is ready, and the three of us are laughing as we serve ourselves, then sit at the table.
“This is so good.” Maddie moans around a mouthful. “Right, baby?”
We all look at baby Tyler who’s half-feeding himself and half-tossing the noodles on the floor.
“He looks just like Liam when he stuffs his face full of food.”
“Yeah, and like his uncle Tyler when he’s having a hissy fit,” Liam throws back.
“Oh man, low blow.” I cackle. “I can’t wait until he’s older, so I can teach him how to box. He’ll be kicking your ass before he’s ten.”
I miss training in the ring and teaching people how to fight.
It was my favorite profession before prison and something I hope to get back into once I’m settled.
Even though Lawton Ridge is a small town and there aren’t many gym choices, there’s one I can join if it’s not too expensive.
For the past three weeks, I’ve been running outside, but I miss lifting and hitting a punching bag.
“I don’t think so…” Maddie intervenes. “He loves to dance just like his mama.”
“We are not putting my son in dancing classes.”
“Yes, we are.”
“He’s gonna play football like his daddy.”
“Daddy and Mommy also did yoga, so he could do both.” Maddie grins.
Liam rolls his eyes, but even I know it’s no use arguing with her.
We spend the rest of the evening talking shit and playing with baby Tyler. It’s surreal to say good night to them one last time, knowing I’ll be gone tomorrow.
I’m so proud of my two best friends and how much they’ve accomplished. They fought for each other for a long time and endured so much drama and hardships, but it all led them to where they are now. They have the picture-perfect family, and no two people are more deserving. I’m truly happy for them.
I hope someday good karma comes around and rewards me with the same.
The next morning, Maddie’s in tears again as I hug her goodbye. I kiss baby Tyler, hug Liam, then grab my two suitcases.
“Text me when you land,” Maddie calls out.
“I will.” I wink. “Good luck, you two.”
“Same to you, man,” Liam says.
“I wanna hear all about Gemma. Don’t forget!
” Maddie shouts as I walk through the sliding doors at the airport.
I shake my head at her persistence. This isn’t the first time she’s asked about her, probably more like the hundredth.
It’s my fault for mentioning Gemma years ago and then writing about her a few times in my letters to Maddie.
But it hurt too much to talk about her, so I stopped. I didn’t want to open that wound again. What happened between Gemma and me was years ago, and I need to let it go.
That was before I decided to return to Alabama.
Before I realized I’d be working for her dad.
Before I found out she was engaged to a rich prick.
Before I realized my feelings for her never went away.
But too much time has passed and she’s in love with another man.
I kept her away this long, so it shouldn’t be that hard again.