Chapter Ten #2
“Oh no.” I frown.
After Gabe, her husband and my cousin, died and my brother, Noah, went to prison for the accidental homicide, her entire world was rocked. So was ours.
That was almost ten years ago, and she’s still picking up the pieces.
Owen wasn’t born yet and has never met his father.
Though Gabe wasn’t a great husband, I think he would’ve been an amazing father.
When he wasn’t drinking, he was a fun cousin to be around and always made me laugh.
I miss him at times and wonder how different our lives would be if he were still alive.
“Yeah, so welcome to my pity party.”
She starts the blender, and I grab two glasses. Once it’s done, she pours the liquid, giving us the same amount.
“Your turn.” Katie smirks, then leads me to the patio where Owen’s playing with a friend on the trampoline.
“I have nothing to complain about.” I set my drink down and settle on the lounge chair with my legs stretched out. “It’s wedding jitters, I’m sure.”
“Already?” she asks, getting comfy in the chair next to me. “I thought the date wasn’t until March.”
“Robert wants to move it to November.”
She nearly spits out her margarita but quickly covers her mouth. “November? Why?”
“He thinks we’ve waited long enough and wants to make me his wife so we can move in together and start making babies. He was raised with traditional values, and the men and women in his family get married quickly and raise a family.”
“Whoa…that’s a lot to process.” She blinks, taking another sip. “What’d you say?”
“I told him I needed time to think about it. He put me on the spot. I haven’t even fully processed that we only have seven months left, so I was caught off guard.”
“Well, money isn’t the issue. That man will buy you anything you want. So what’s holding you back?”
I shrug, not sure how to explain the mixed feelings I’m having. I adore his parents, and I know they love us together. I met them early in our relationship and his mother, Christine, gushed over all the grandchildren we’d give her.
We try and meet them once a month for brunch on Sundays and she fills me in on all the gossip in her elite circle. After a while, she felt like the mother-figure I’ve been without for over twenty years. She’d be devastated if we split up, and truthfully, I would too.
She’s the epitome of beauty and wealth, but she has a big heart and always invites me to her country club parties to socialize with their friends.
Although we get along, it can’t be the reason we rush to the altar if it doesn’t feel right.
“How’d you know you were in love with Gabe?”
She smiles briefly. “I just did. I was pretty damn smitten by him, but at first, it was high school puppy love. That first summer we spent together was like something you’d read in a Nicholas Sparks novel.
We wanted to be around each other constantly, day or night, no matter what, and our feelings blossomed so fast. He made me laugh a lot and looked at me like I was his whole world.
Gabe was the first and only man I’ve ever loved.
He could do no wrong, and as time passed, I was blinded to the issues we were having.
Then we got married, and I got pregnant, and—”
“Yeah, I know,” I say softly and grab her hand when she doesn’t continue because that story doesn’t end happily.
“You get butterflies in the beginning and then you fall into a comfortable routine. Happens to all relationships.” She takes a long swig of her drink. “I’m sure you two are just in a lull, and once the big day gets closer, you’ll be itching to walk down the aisle.”
I hope so because right now it feels like I’m settling for the kind of love that doesn’t excite me.
On the other hand, Robert can give me the kind of stability my father wants for me.
Robert isn’t a bad guy, but I wouldn’t be his only love.
He’d be more married to his job than me. Hell, he already is.
“Yeah, probably.” Tipping my head back, I empty my glass.
“Speaking of Robert, do you think he’d be able to help me find some property?”
“You’re looking to buy a house?”
“Yep, I think it’s time. Owen needs a bigger yard and bedroom, and I need more space for me. But I need something in a decent neighborhood that I can afford, so I’m thinking it’ll have to be a fixer-upper. I thought maybe Robert would know of something or know someone who might.”
“Wait, wait, wait.” I laugh. “You, Katie Walker, are gonna remodel a house? I added way too much tequila.”
She chuckles and sticks out her tongue. “I’ve been watching plenty of tutorials online and remodeling TV shows, thank you very much. I might not be an expert, but I can follow directions, and well, if I completely fuck it up, I can call a contractor.”
Her Southern accent gets thicker as she drinks more.
“I’m trying to imagine you in overalls with a tool belt, and I’m sorry, but I can’t.”
“Well, try harder, babe, because it’s happening. I’ll be tearing down walls, repairing floors, and installing sinks. Hell, I might get my own reality TV show by the end of it. Single mom renovates an old home. It has a certain ring to it, doesn’t it?”
“I think the booze has gone straight to your head.” Laughing, I grab our empty glasses, then head inside for refills.
“Make mine a double!” she calls from outside.
After I make another batch, I go back outside and hand hers over. “Take it easy now. It’s still the afternoon.”
“Oh, but it’s five o’clock somewhere.”
“I’ll cheer to that.”
We hang out, gossip, and listen to music while watching Owen play. I realize how much I’ve missed just talking to a friend over drinks.
“Hey, Mom.” Owen rushes over, nearly out of breath.
I smile at his cute dimples and messy dark hair. He looks more like Gabe the older he gets. He’ll never be able to meet him, but I know his father would be proud of him.
“What, babe?” Katie asks, narrowing her eyes.
“Can Austin and I ride bikes to the park?”
Katie puts a hand above her eyes to block out the sun as she ponders it. “Alright, but wear your helmet.”
“Mom.” He groans with an eye roll. “I’m too old to wear that.”
“Oh, really? You’re too old to get hit by a truck and get your brain smashed? I didn’t realize there was an age limit for that…”
“Fine, whatever.” He walks off with Austin behind him, and I laugh as soon as he’s out of view. The park isn’t too far, but Katie’s always been protective of her son. After everything she’s gone through, I don’t blame her.
“You have your hands full. That’s for sure,” I tease, taking a big gulp.
“Hence why we’re drinking margaritas.” She finishes her second one. “But seriously, he’s a good kid. I wish the circumstances were different, and he had a dad, or even a male figure in his life to hang out with.”
Before I can think twice about it, I blurt out, “What about Tyler?”
“You want me to marry Tyler so he can have a dad?”
My eyes widen as I take in how tipsy Katie is, and then I burst out laughing. “No! I meant he could be Owen’s friend or whatever. I’m sure Tyler wouldn’t mind playing basketball or football with him. Like the Big Brothers program, except he’s not a stranger.”
“I know Tyler from high school. I don’t know Tyler after prison. He just moved back. Plus, I don’t want the first real conversation we have to be about him hanging out with my son.”
“Yeah, he’s definitely…changed.”
She studies my face. “How are things going with him at the shop? Things seemed tense at the bar last weekend.”
I swallow hard and lick my lips. “It’s…interesting. After I made a fool of myself when he took me home, I can barely look at him,” I admit with shame.
“Whoa, what? You better spill the tea. Wait! We need another round.”
“No, no, no…”
“Yes! C’mon. Let’s get out of the sun before we turn into lobsters. Then I wanna hear all about it.”
Oh God. I groan and follow her into the house, where I tell her everything about that night and blush at how embarrassing it was.
“Wow…” She smirks as we sit on the couch with our third glass of margaritas. “I can’t believe you stripped down to your bra and panties. What do you think would’ve happened if he’d stayed the night?”
My cheeks heat at the number of times I’ve thought of that same thing over the past week. “I should’ve never asked…” I shake my head, unable to finish. “Anyway, now it’s awkward, and I’m an idiot.”
“No, you’re not. I’m sure him being here is confusing, considering you’ve had feelings for him since you were a teenager. Even more now that you see him every day at work.”
“I feel like a piece of shit. I’m engaged to another man, but I still think about Tyler, even after he broke my heart. After all the years I waited for him, there’s still that what-if in the back of my mind that I can’t let go.”
Katie wraps her arm around me, pulling me in for a hug. “Only you know what your heart is feeling, and only you can decide what you want. Follow your gut because if I had done that ten years ago, everything would be different.”