Eleven
Annalise
The person working the cuddle area smiled as we walked up. "Hiya. Wanna snuggle with a puppy?"
"Do we want to snuggle with a puppy?" Jared repeated. "Abso-fucking-lutely."
The guy laughed and reached down to grab what looked like a little cotton ball, with so much fur we could barely see any eyes.
"Is that a stuffed animal or a dog?" Jared asked, gesturing for me to go first, which I gladly did.
If all galas and balls and bullshit like this had a puppy cuddle corner, I'd gladly return to the world I'd pretty much shunned in recent years. While my sister Aria embraced it and even went into the party planning business, I'd had enough in my formative years to last a lifetime.
The puppy was an energetic ball of energy, but after a few calming moments of petting, she or he calmed down.
"We're calling this dog Sunny. She's a rescue from the recent hurricane in Florida, and we're just helping out and hoping to find her a good home."
"She's the cutest. Oh, my God," I gushed.
"She kind of reminds me of my dog, Freddie. Similar size and personality."
Oh dear lord, it was Venus coming over to us to talk. I looked up at her, not realizing before that she was quite tall, at least compared to me, and I suddenly found myself at a loss for words.
"But of course, Freddie is a boy and has some dark spots on his adorable wittle belly."
The baby talk made me laugh, and I tried to think of something to say, but absolutely nothing was happening in my stupid brain. Which was odd. I'd met all kinds of big shots and never had this problem before.
"Freddie is the cutest," Jared chimed in.
Venus looked at Jared, her eyes narrowing. "You look familiar."
Jared seemed taken aback. "I do?"
"I feel like we've met before," Venus said, every word she said like a cat purring, sensuality dripping from her luscious lips with each syllable.
I could sense Jared's sudden tension, and I handed him the puppy, which he gladly took. "Hmm," he said. "I just have that kind of face."
"I'd remember a mustache like that, though. So you've left me very puzzled. Although..." She patted the dog she still held in her arms. "There's something about your mustache. I do know a lot about disguises. It's the only way I can get through this world sometimes anonymously and retain any semblance of sanity."
What the fuck? This was hitting way too close to home, and I needed to say something.
"That's incredible that you've found a way to do that," Jared said.
"It really is," I finally chimed in. "Your life story and the way you've lived your life are really inspirational." Oh, God, was that laying it on too thick?
"Thank you. That's very kind of you."
Her voice seemed genuine, thank goodness. Or she was just a really great actress.
"We should introduce ourselves properly," Jared said. "This lovely lady beside me is Cordelia, and I'm Jared, and we both work in acquisitions at Insight Ink, a boutique publishing house here in Manhattan that specializes in compelling non-fiction that informs and inspires readers."
I had to stop myself from gasping out loud at Jared's little speech, repeating almost verbatim what I'd told him about our company on day one when I'd first met him.
"Insight Ink. Insight Ink," Venus repeated, a thoughtful look on her face. "Aha. Yes! You sent my agent that proposal, didn't you?"
My heart took off in a gallop. This was the big moment of truth that could either make us or break us.
"We did," Jared said, his voice deep and confident. "And what did you think?"
Venus brushed her platinum-colored locks off one shoulder, then resumed petting the puppy in her hands, her cleavage spilling out of her skin-tight dress. This woman held my future in her hands, and it was all I could do to breathe.
Jared shifted the puppy to one arm, cradling her, and I suddenly felt his steadying hand on the small of my back, weirdly reassuring.
"Hmm," she hummed. "I will say I liked the idea."
I could sense a big, fat 'but' coming, and I held my breath, my heart now racing at a frantic speed.
"But..."
I fucking knew it .
"I want to be wooed."
What on earth did that mean? Glancing up at Jared, I wondered what he thought. But he was staring right at Venus, deadly serious, assessing.
"Wooed," he echoed. "Got it."
She patted his arm coyly. "Good. I'm sure you can figure it out. You look like a smart man." She turned to me. "And you look like a smart woman. A very smart couple, as a matter of fact."
"Uh, we're not—" I began.
"Oh, excuse me," she interrupted. "My husband is trying to wave me over, and for once, I suppose I'll do as he asks."
Jared chuckled lightly. "Well, it was nice to meet you in person."
"Likewise."
And with that, she was off, hips swaying like the goddess she was as she walked away, leaving Jared and me in the wake of her very strong perfume.
"Uh, I guess we're not getting that dog back," the attendant said with a laugh.
"I guess not," Jared agreed with a smile.
A smile. The man was smiling after that interaction. But I was... I didn't know what I was. Devastated? Embarrassed? Confused?
Taking Sunny back from him, I held onto her, drawing comfort from her soft fur and cuddles. I had no idea a dog could make you feel like this.
"You good, Dee?" Jared asked.
"I don't know. Yes. No."
He chuckled, his good humor kind of annoying. "You're not happy with our interaction with Venus, are you?"
"I'm not sure what to think."
"She didn't say no, did she?"
"I guess not."
"So we've got a chance. And she'll for sure remember us when we start wooing her."
That one author we'd won over with cake came to mind, and I sighed. "I guess I've done it before, and I can do it again."
"There's the spirit. We've got this."
Motivational talk was beyond annoying, but I didn't say anything to Jared. The attendant made a move for the dog, and I reluctantly handed her over. "Bye, Sunny. It was really nice meeting you. I hope you find the best home ever."
I couldn't believe how sad it made me feel to walk away, and I excused myself to head to the restroom where I took my sweet time to collect myself. By the time I came back, the whole event was over, and I honestly was still sort of depressed and down.
Everything was suddenly getting to me tonight—handing the dog over, or maybe the fact that I'd been a complete dumbass when we'd actually had a chance to talk to Venus and pitch our idea. I was disappointed in myself professionally, and it sucked even more because I'd been doing so well in my new job lately.
"What's got you frowning?" Jared said as we walked toward the exit. "The fact that Venus didn't say yes outright?"
"That's part of it."
"What else?"
I fiddled with my purse as we walked through the huge lobby area. "I don't know."
The truth was I didn't really want to confide in Jared. I desperately wanted to maintain the facade that I was a capable and confident businesswoman who busted her ass and always knew what to say and do in any and every situation. What had happened to me back there was unacceptable. And the fact that Jared had done all the talking, and done it well, was even more galling.
"Come on, Dee. Aren't we friends?"
"Friends?"
"Or you hate me a little less than you did before?"
I couldn't help laughing. "A little less."
"See? We're making such great progress. You can tell me any—"
He suddenly stopped talking, and I glanced up at his line of vision to see what had made him pause. Rain pelted the large windows on either side of the lobby.
"Oh, wow."
"Have no fear, baby, I'll protect you from the big, bad rain storm," Jared said, whipping out his phone and furiously tapping away.
"First of all, don't fucking call me baby. And secondly, I actually like the rain."
He put his phone down and gaped at me. "You like the rain? As in, you want to go out in it and get all wet?"
"I can't think of anything better."
"You really surprise me sometimes, Dee."
I didn't bother asking if that was a good or bad thing because I really didn't care at the moment. All I could think about was reveling in the beauty of a summer rainstorm in the city, and I strode toward the exit.
And then Jared did the most obnoxious thing in the world when he didn't let me get out of the revolving door, making me go around three whole times until he slowed it enough so I could make a dash for it.
"You jerk," I said, not able to hold in my laughter as I stumbled onto the sidewalk, a little dizzy and a whole lot breathless.
Jared steadied me with a strong hand, his grin contagious.
For now, a large awning protected us from the wet weather, a crowd of gala people waiting for their cars, all of them avoiding the rain like it was acid.
Jared and I stood on the edge of the green carpet, facing outwards, taking in the sight of a few brave souls dashing to cabs or rushing into a restaurant or bar. A few people walked along with their umbrellas out, bobbing along with each brisk step.
I felt Jared's eyes on me. "You sure? You want to just get out there and go for a stroll like it's a fine summer night?"
"This is a fine summer night," I argued.
Instead of saying anything, Jared just jumped right out into it, the rain pouring down on him as he turned to smile at me. "Yep. Fine summer night."
He held out his hands as if challenging me, and I took the leap, well, not technically leaping, just stepping out into it, the rain cool against my hot skin, instantly dousing me.
I did a twirl, wiping my hair back from my eyes as Jared laughed. "You're crazy, Dee. Who knew?"
Someone cleared their throat loudly behind us, and we turned to see the doorman. "Did you need any assistance?" he asked.
"The woman wants to walk in the rain," Jared answered. "So I must oblige."
He nodded his head at us before walking away and leaving us, probably muttering under his breath about our lack of common sense. But I didn't care. It felt good. It felt like just what I needed after the strange Venus incident.
"Which way?" Jared asked.
I pointed in the direction of my apartment, even though it was quite a few blocks away. At least we could maybe walk part of the way, until the rain lost its charm or my feet started to ache.
Jared held out an elbow, and I only hesitated a fraction of a second before taking it, because really, I did need a steady arm in these shoes, especially with the wet pavement. And I most definitely wouldn't think about how solid and muscular Jared felt any time I touched him, or that little spark I'd tried desperately to douse when he'd held me close while dancing.
"I love the smell of rain," Jared said as we started off down the sidewalk.
"You know there's a word for it," I said, leaning in to the distraction of a conversation, trying to take my focus off the feeling of Jared's strong arm.
"Word for what?"
"The smell of rain. It's called petrichor."
"Petrichor? How do you know all these things? Semantic satiation... petrichor..."
"I have no idea," I admitted. "But do you want to know my favorite word ever?"
He squeezed my arm as we dodged someone with an unwieldy umbrella. "Of course."
"Have you ever heard of sonder?"
"Uh, no. What's that mean?"
This was possibly the strangest night I'd ever had. Walking in the rain with my annoying co-worker, arms linked, both of us ignoring the fact that we were getting drenched and now delving into a discussion about vocabulary.
"Sonder is that profound feeling you get when you realize that every single person you see has their own rich life, one as real as yours, one that you're just a brief passerby in. Or you're just a person in the background of their photo. A voice they hear as you walk by on the sidewalk. You know what I mean?" Maybe he didn't. Maybe Jared never had a deep thought in his life.
"Yeah, I totally know what you mean. I get that feeling a lot in the city. Like who are all these people? And where are they all going? And the fact that I'll never know them and they'll never know me. Yet for one second, they were a part of your life while you waited for coffee together and you listened to them talking to their wife on their phone. And then, you'll never see them again."
Okay. So there was something deeper to Jared than I'd previously thought.
"It's weird to think of how many people are on this planet at the same time as you," he went on, "and you'll never even know them. And living and growing up here, it just magnifies that fact."
He paused and shrugged off his suit coat, draping it over my shoulders. "You don't need to do that," I said.
"Yes, I do. I should have done it sooner. Now your dress is all ruined."
"This old thing?" I joked, attempting to change the subject to hide the fact that a ruined dress wouldn't ruin me.
I tried to hand him back his coat, but he turned forceful about it. "Don't argue with me, Cordelia."
Damn. Why was that kind of hot? For one brief, unhinged moment, I had the urge to tell him my real name, just so I could hear the way it sounded from his lips. Would he say it all deep and growly like he'd said my fake name?
"Take my arm again," he said, interrupting my strange train of thought, only to lead me to a different one as our arms connected once more.
And now, my mind went back to that dance we'd shared earlier in the evening and how good Jared had felt... surprisingly. I'd been alone for so long, I'd forgotten what it felt like to be held by a man. To be wanted. To be cherished. To be protected.
I liked going it alone. I really did. But my God, sometimes it'd be nice to have a person to share it all with, someone to talk to in the dark of the night when I woke up from a bad dream, someone to sit across from me during dinner, someone to vent about my day with while we cuddled on the couch and watched a movie.
"Did you grow up in the city?" Jared asked.
"Yep. Did you?"
"Yes."
I sensed something more under his answer, but I had no idea what. And I didn't want to push because what if Jared then asked me more questions about my past. I did have a whole scenario planned out of schools and places Cordelia had lived if someone asked. No one ever had, though.
But he didn't ask any more—and I didn't either—both of us now focused on the sidewalk and the myriad of puddles to walk through. It oddly felt like we were a team, moving as one, working together effortlessly.
Weirdly enough, this whole night we'd kind of been acting as a team, and for once, I didn't hate it.
Someone across the street shouted at someone else, but I couldn't make it out. The tone of the voice, a bit frail yet with steel in it, made me look up, and I spotted an older woman across the street, staring at us with her hands on her hips, a man holding a huge umbrella over her.
"Nana!" Jared said loudly. "What are you doing out here?"
Not letting up on my arm, he looked both ways before swiftly guiding me across the street until umbrella guy was doing triple duty, getting soaked in the process as he tried to keep Jared, his grandma, and me all dry. Which was pretty much pointless at this point. Well, except for Jared's nana.
"I should ask the same of you, young man. What are you doing taking your beautiful date out in the rain like this? She could catch cold and die."
"It was, um, my idea," I confessed, realizing how stupid the whole thing sounded.
Her eyes turned to me, and even though she was well under five feet—it wasn't often that I met people shorter than me—she was damn intimidating, especially because she was sharp. The clarity and wisdom in her eyes were downright daunting.
She surprised me by smiling. "Ah, having fantasies of a romantic walk in the rain with my grandson?"
What on earth could I say to that?
"Nana!" Jared said, saving me. "Dee is my co-worker . Remember?"
"I know that. Don't treat me like an idiot. There's a spark there, and you can't deny that."
"I—I—" I stumbled over any coherent words, not for the first time tonight.
" If there's a spark, maybe it'd be okay to be subtle about it?" Jared said gently.
"At my age, there's no time for subtlety. You better say what you mean and get it all out on the table before someone croaks."
Holding back a grin, I looked down the street, trying to gauge how far away my place was while wondering the best way to get home.
"Now you two come upstairs with me and get dry before you catch a cold."
"That's just an old wives' tale, Nana. People don't really get sick from being wet in the rain."
"Well, when you're a grandma, you can make the rules. Until then, upstairs. Now. The both of you."
I nearly burst out laughing but managed to stop myself as she stared up at both of us, her mouth set in a firm line, waiting to see if either of us would defy her. After a short pause, she turned toward the front of the building and walked to the door, confident we'd follow, the umbrella guy going with her, intent on keeping her dry.
"Sorry, Dee," Jared whispered beside me. "Looks like you're stuck with us for the time being."