Twenty-Three
Annalise
I hadn't been able to eat anything this morning. No coffee. No tea. And certainly no food. Only a few sips of water, and that was it. And of course, I'd tossed and turned the entire night, my mind going a mile a minute and refusing to shut off.
So after not eating and not sleeping, I was already off to a great start, or in other words, cranky as hell.
Jared, or Max rather, was going to see the full force of my wrath.
And he had the nerve to be late too. The fucking jerk.
Mona and a few others said hi, and it was an incredible effort just to engage, all of my thoughts on him and when he'd arrive, and how exactly I might play this, which I still hadn't figured out despite the fact that it'd kept me up all night.
The clock kept ticking, and still no Jared—or Max—making me wonder if he'd show at all today. Maybe he'd gone back to his real office, deciding he'd had enough of kicking it with all the little worker bees.
Trying my best to actually work, I put my head down and attempted to answer an email. And that's when he finally deigned to grace us with his presence.
With a knowing smirk on his face, he strode in carrying several big boxes of donuts, everyone rushing to help him unload, gasping and oohing and aahing over his generosity.
I gave him a hard eye-roll because it was almost like he'd known that I'd found out, and this was his attempt at buttering me up, buttering the whole office up maybe.
"Hey, Dee ," he said, emphasizing my name for some reason. He handed me a small bag while giving me a cheesy wink. "Sorry I'm late. But I had important business to attend to."
"I think you were running late anyway, so you stopped to get donuts on the way as a cover."
"Wow, you really think I would do something like that?"
"I know you would."
"Just look in the bag, Cordelia ."
With a huffy sigh, I did as he asked, and I found my favorite kind of donut in there, pink frosting with sprinkles.
"There are two of them, just for you," Jared, er, Max, said. "Hope you enjoy, Cordelia ."
"Thank you, I guess, Jared ."
He narrowed his eyes at me. "Why so sassy today, Cordelia ?"
"I'm not sassy. And why do you keep saying my name like that?"
"Like what?" he said innocently.
"Emphasizing it."
He compressed his lips together, and we ended up in a strange staring contest, the sounds of conversations fading behind us. I could see he had something on his mind, something he wanted to say. Which was so odd.
I was the one with something huge to say. Not him.
Scooting his chair closer, we were knee to knee, and I took a moment to examine his face, his features, those same features I'd been falling for before I knew his real persona.
And sure enough, they matched up with Max Sterling.
In the middle of the night, I'd brought up photos of them both and compared them, but it wasn't the same as doing it in person, up close, and in the flesh.
"I know who you are," I hissed.
It was almost like my words were a slap to his face, the way he reacted with a flinch. He blinked a few times, most likely in shock by what I'd said, and this just further cemented my case. Because if he'd reacted with confusion, like he had no idea what I was talking about, that would have shown his innocence.
But instead, he knew exactly what I meant.
He recovered quickly, though. I'd give him that. One didn't become as successful as Max Sterling without being able to think on their feet.
Leaning in closer, he caged me in with his hands on my armrests. "Oh, yeah? Well, I know who you are."
Talk about a punch to the stomach. Not that I'd ever been hit in my life. But this had to be what it felt like.
Never in a million years would I have guessed that anyone would figure out who I really was, let alone Jared/Max.
"I have no idea what you're even talking about," I managed to say.
Coming in breathtakingly close, he whispered near my ear, "Cut the act, Annalise ."
Oh, my God.
Just like that time we'd had the hot sauce challenge, I suddenly felt wretchedly sick, and I wondered if I'd have to make another run for it.
Max pulled back and scrutinized my expression, which I desperately tried to mask, his brows pulling together.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
Oh, no, not the soft, sweet, caring voice. How dare he hit me with that. "I... I need the ladies' room. Meet me in the storage room in five."
I didn't wait for a response, just hightailed it out of there as quickly as I could without actually running, the whole time chanting to myself, "I won't be sick. I won't be sick."
Amazingly enough, it must have worked. The awful twisting in my stomach was still there, but I thought I could at least keep the few sips of water that I'd managed down.
Grasping the edges of the sink, I stared at myself in the mirror, the paleness of my skin, the panic in my eyes, wondering if my dizzying, frantic pulse could be seen by others or only felt by me.
Of course, no one could see it. What was wrong with me?
What they could probably see, actually most definitely could see, was my rapid breathing, my chest rising up and down, desperate for more oxygen, on the verge of a total meltdown.
I'd never expected anyone to find this out, let alone Max fucking Sterling, not only my former little crush, but the CEO of the entire company.
How on earth had something like this happened? How could I have completely lost sight of my ultimate mission? I'd let myself get distracted by a dick.
Truly, I deserved everything I had coming to me. Whatever it was.
Max held all the power in this situation, and he'd probably fire my ass. Everything I'd worked so hard for down the drain. And if he was anything like most CEO billionaires, he'd totally humiliate me along the way. My family too. Drag the Stratton name through the mud.
Fuck .
My phone buzzed, and I glanced at it to see a text from him.
"I'm waiting."
A shudder went through me as well as another wave of nausea. What a fucking disaster.
I heard footsteps, and it startled me into acting. Acting. That's what I had to do.
Taking a deep breath, I shoved off from the sink and forced my shoulders back right as someone from design walked in. I gave her a smile and nod and kept on walking. Kind of like I was heading toward my execution.
Straight to the gallows. Or storage room. Fury and fear making a strange and poisonous mixture inside me.
Because sure, I was petrified. But I was also pissed as hell still that he'd lied to me.
With adrenaline pumping through my shaky limbs, I made it down the long hallway to the storage room. Was it only yesterday that we'd met in here for a completely different reason?
My God, how much things could spiral in less than twenty-four hours.
I opened the door to find him leaning against the wall, a half smile on his face. The asshole didn't look worried in the slightest. Did he not have any emotions at all? Or was he just really great at hiding them?
"So..." he began.
At his smug expression, I decided to cut him off immediately. "So..." I said, mimicking him. "We might as well get this over with. You might as well just fire me right now."
His brows went up in surprise. "Fire you? You think I'm going to fire you?"
"Absolutely yes. It'd be the wise thing to do."
"Well, what if I'm not very wise?"
In no mood for jokes or talking in riddles, I plunged onward. "Why are you even here, Max ? What's the point of this whole little charade anyway?"
"I'm glad you asked. And I was planning on telling you all of this at dinner on Friday anyway."
"You were not."
"Yes, actually, I was," he said, his eyes intent on my face. "I've been feeling terrible that we took our relationship to the next level under false pretenses. Although I had no idea we both were doing that."
A twinge of guilt spiraled through me at his words. Especially if he was telling the truth about Friday. Because I had no such plan to tell him my true identity.
"Why did you do it? I mean, why are you doing it?" I amended, skipping past my own accountability in this situation.
He hesitated, and I wondered if he'd actually confide in me, the silence stretching between us as his gaze flickered to the shelves behind me. The weight of the moment, of everything unsaid, thickened the air around us.
"Because as Max Sterling," he finally began, "no one ever acts like themselves around me. I'm the big, bad CEO, and everyone cowers before me. This is my way to get a peek inside my companies and see what's really going on."
"And why would you want to do that?"
His broad shoulders lifted in a shrug. "Because I want to see how morale is, what people really think about the places where they spend hours every week."
"And in the meantime, you hook up with unsuspecting women."
He narrowed his eyes at me, for the first time displaying real emotion. "That's not it at all. I've never done that before. Never even close. Only with you."
Could I believe that or not? "And why didn't you tell me the truth earlier?"
"Why didn't you ?"
Touché. "I—I would have come around to it." I would have. "We were just having some fun. So..." I shrugged as his jaw hardened.
"What we were doing was way more than that," he said, enunciating every word. "It meant a lot more to me than just having some fun ."
I stared at him, seeing Max instead of Jared, despite the stupid disguise, making his words difficult to believe.
"Tell me this," he said. "Now that you know who I really am, why do you hate me so much?"
Not hesitating for a moment, I dove right in. "Because you've always looked down on me... and my sisters. Always acted like you didn't even know us, even though we've been in the same circles for years."
"That's because I have an awful time remembering faces."
I raised my brows at him. "You have face blindness?"
"To a degree, yes. I have to work really hard at it."
Again, I wasn't sure how much I could believe him and anything that came out of his mouth. Another thought that had haunted me in the night popped into my head. "And what about that stupid email we broke our backs over to Max, to you , about the painting? You made us agonize over every word when it was to your fucking self and you knew damn well you'd never send the painting."
He stepped closer, a muscle ticking in that annoyingly strong jawline. "I had the painting sent over last night. And I had every intention of doing it, I just got a little sidetracked. By you. By us."
The way his voice softened on the word "us" made my chest squeeze.
"And as far as that night where we crafted the email..." he went on, running a hand over his face. "Well, that was because I just wanted to spend time with you, Dee—I mean, Annalise—because we were having fun."
"Maybe you were. But that was work for me. And really putting myself out there. My name out there."
"Your name?" he echoed, arching a brow.
"Okay," I acquiesced, feeling a bit hypocritical. "My work name."
He studied my face for a beat before responding. "And what about you? Why are you hiding who you really are?"
"Me?" All I'd thought about last night was my accusations toward him, never even considering how to explain myself. So now I had a choice—either tell him the truth and confide in him, or come up with a lie on the spot.
"Come on, D—" He shook his head. "I mean, Annalise. I told you my reasoning. Why can't you tell me yours?"
"Because there's a major power imbalance here."
"Really? You think so? I don't think so at all. You're fucking Annalise Stratton. Your family practically owns this city. If anything, you have all the power here."
"Maybe my parents do. Or my sisters," I argued. "But not me."
"Not you? You think you have no power?" he scoffed. "I beg to differ. You know what I think?"
"No. And I don't care to know."
"I think," he continued on, not taking my words into account. "I think you were actually doing something quite honorable. Trying to make it on your own without your family's name or help behind you. Is that it?"
He'd nailed it of course, making me realize that this man right here knew me incredibly well, whether I liked it or not. But never in a million years would I tell him that.
"I know that's it," he said when I didn't answer. "And do you want to know what else I think?"
"No."
Chuckling lightly, he stepped closer while I took a step back. "I think you embody both pride and prejudice. Too proud to tell me, as Max, the truth and also prejudiced against my name and position."
"Please don't bring Mr. Darcy into this, because you, sir, are no Mr. Darcy."
"I'm not saying I am. I'm saying you are."
"What a crock of shit. I'm not Mr. Darcy. And you realize that would make you Elizabeth Bennet."
"Why, I'm flattered." He laughed. "That means you think I have fine eyes."
I couldn't help laughing too. How dare he make me laugh in the middle of me being mad at him. "I said no such thing."
Staring at him, I tried to reconcile the two so very different beings standing in front of me—Max and Jared—and it seemed nearly impossible.
"Listen, baby..." he said softly.
"Don't call me that."
"Okay. Then listen, Annalise. I know we, uh, did things as people with other names, and that you told Jared some confidences that you never would have told me as Max. But I want you to know two things. The first is that I'm really sorry. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you sooner. I should have told you a while ago."
I nodded, not sure what to say, needing some time to think about everything.
His eyes probed into me before continuing. "And the second is... the person you got to know, that really is me. Jared is me. They're both me. And I've never in my life felt more myself than I have with you."
God, he was really good at this, looking and sounding so incredibly sincere. A big part of me wanted to believe him, wanted to just take the easy route and trust him again. How tempting was it to just shrug it all off, take a step forward, and let his arms come around me?
Something lurched in my chest at the thought of being in his warm, strong embrace again.
But it wasn't that simple. Everything had become ultra complicated, not just one person with a false identity, but two, and I couldn't see a path forward. Ultimately, I didn't trust him. And he shouldn't trust me either. So it could never work.
He was waiting for me to say something, the ball in my court it seemed, and I knew what I had to do.
"I appreciate that," I said in my most business-like tone. "And I'm sorry too for deceiving you. However..."
"However?" he prompted when I hesitated.
"However, this needs to end. All of it. From now on, I need to go forward on my own. Alone and independent."
"Alone and independent, huh?"
"Yes. Alone and independent. And I assume you'll be going back to your offices at Echelon where you belong. And I'd like to stay here and continue on."
He nodded, thank goodness. It really did make the most sense, to just nip this thing in the bud and pretend like it never happened.
"Whatever you say, Annalise."
"Thank you. And thank you for being so... agreeable," I said after searching for the right word. "Now, I really should be getting back to work."
He smiled at me. "Of course. By all means. Get back to work."
Leaving the room, a rush of relief swirled through me, and I congratulated myself for getting through such a wild situation relatively unscathed. Max would go back to his life, I'd go back to mine, and everything would finally be normal again.