Chapter Two
Troian
"My mom gives terrible advice, and I'm never listening to her again," I swear, swallowing hard as I hurry out of the cafeteria, desperately trying not to cry in front of Gage Bronx.
I've been in love with him since my parents transferred me to this school. Sometimes, I let myself believe that he feels the same way I do.
Girls flirt with him all the time, but he never flirts back.
He texts me all the time, buys my lunch, and knows everything about me.
He gets cranky when other guys at school even talk to me.
We've done practically everything together since I transferred here.
But he's never tried to make a move, and I know it's not because he's gay.
He isn't.
So, I let my mom talk me into being brave and bold like she was when she told my dad she was in love with him.
She said I'd always regret it if I didn't take a chance and tell him how I feel.
I thought she was right, especially since we're going to college next year and might not be in the same state, let alone the same school.
I came up with this whole big, stupid plan to ask him to Prom after lunch.
But he already has a date.
Victoria has been trying to tell me for years that he's only nice to me because I'm a "friendless loser" and he feels sorry for me.
I never had a reason to believe her until now.
Gage and I have always told each other everything.
At least I thought we did. Apparently, that's no longer true because he didn't tell me he had a date.
He didn't tell me he was auditioning for the movie last year, either.
I didn't know anything about it until he casually blurted out that he got the lead role.
I wasn't surprised.
Gage has always been beautiful. He's ridiculously tall with broad shoulders and gorgeous blue eyes that remind me of the sky. Because he plays football, he's built like a god. Everything about him screams movie star. Of course, he landed the lead role.
I'm happy for him because I know how much it helped his family. Because of the movie, his brother is taken care of, and Gage can afford to go to college. He wants to be a heart surgeon, which I love.
I'm proud of him for landing the role and doing such a great job with it.
But it's made things weird between us. He's a literal heartthrob now, with fans and a publicist and a million things to do.
I barely see him anymore except at school, and with the next movie filming soon, he'll be missing a lot.
Victoria makes it a point to remind me that he's moved on to bigger and better things as often as she can. I'm starting to believe that maybe she's right. I miss him way more than I thought it was possible to miss someone I still see every day.
I guess I just always thought my senior year of high school would be amazing. But it's honestly been kind of terrible…just like every other year since I transferred here. I'm short and chubby and painfully shy and awkward.
God gave me brains, but he didn't give me courage. He also gave me a bad heart. I had to have a transplant when I was a kid, and the medication makes it hard to lose weight.
Victoria Starling has talked shit about my size since my very first week here, when I watched the guy she liked humiliate her.
As soon as she realized that I saw everything, she set out to make my life as miserable as possible, as if it'd undo what I heard.
Or maybe she just wanted to make it so no one would ever believe me if I told them.
I don't know, but now that Gage is a big movie star, she tells everyone that I'm his stalker.
Most days, she makes coming to school a nightmare. But I'm a few short months away from never having to attend another class with her ever again. There's finally light at the end of the tunnel.
No one warned me the tunnel would be filled with landmines.
It's been one bad thing after another this year.
Both of my older brothers are overseas. My dad's company has a big new client, so my parents are both working more than usual. Gage is always busy since the second movie starts filming two days after graduation.
I feel alone in a way I never have before.
And now it looks like I'm going to Prom alone, too.
"Boys suck," I mutter, crossing the courtyard with my head down so no one sees the tears in my eyes. I hate crying in front of people. Letting Victoria know that she got to me just makes her even more vicious.
"They do suck."
I glance up to find Corey Gaines blocking my path. The bright sunlight makes his blond hair shine like gold. Like Gage, Corey is big, brawny, and beautiful. He's always been nice to me, though I'm never sure if that's because he genuinely likes me or if he's just afraid I'll out him to the world.
Our sophomore year, I caught him making out with a guy from a rival school. Even though I promised him I would never tell, I think he still worries about it. He's on the football team with Gage, and his dad is a fire-and-brimstone preacher. He's still very much in the closet.
"Oh, hey," I mumble.
"Ouch." He places his hand over his heart and stumbles back a step, as if I wounded him.
I can tell by the smirk on his face that he's only joking, but I apologize anyway. "Sorry. Bad day."
"Victoria?" he guesses, sobering.
"She's such a bitch," I huff, blowing my hair out of my face. No matter how many times I try to put it up, the little baby pieces never stay in place. "But no. I'm just having a bad day. Prom is so stupid, no offense."
"Gage didn't ask you to the dance, huh?"
A damning tear rolls down my cheek.
Corey sees it, and his gray eyes widen. "Ah, shit, don't cry," he pleads, his expression stricken. Is he going to throw up? "I'll kick his ass for you."
The fact that we don't talk often, but he's offering to kick Gage's ass for me, only makes me cry harder. I just want this stupid dance to end already. No. I want this stupid year to end already. Then I can go to college and forget all about Prom and Victoria and Gage's stupid face.
"He's an idiot," Corey says, stepping closer. He pats me on the back a little too hard and nearly knocks me off my feet. "Oh, shit. Sorry. Sorry."
He grabs me before I land on my ass.
Somehow, he manages to trip me, and I fall into him.
"Christ Almighty," he mutters, bearhugging me to keep me steady.
The fact that he's trying to comfort me but is kind of terrible at it makes me laugh. I feel like a crazy person for laughing and crying simultaneously.
"At least you're laughing," he says, letting me know I said that out loud.
"I'm sorry."
"Nah, it's cool." He pats me on the back again, a little softer this time. "Gage is an idiot if he didn't ask you to Prom. He's lucky to have you."
"You know how I feel about him?" I pull back to look at him, not sure why I'm even asking. Obviously, he knows.
"Baby girl, everyone knows."
"Oh," I whisper, cringing. No wonder they all believe Victoria when she says I'm a stalker.
To them, Gage is the movie star who goes to school with them.
And I'm the clueless, chubby girl who follows him around.
After the scene in the cafeteria, I'll probably be the laughingstock of the entire school because there's no way Victoria won't tell everyone what happened. "I hate this place."
"I hate this place too," Corey says, which makes me feel bad. The guy I love might be taking someone else to the dance, but Corey doesn't even have the option of asking the guy he loves. His father would disown him.
"We should go together," I blurt as soon as the thought occurs.
Corey's eyes widen again.
"I mean, if you aren't going with someone already," I mumble, fidgeting from foot to foot. "Um, never mind, it's probably a terrible idea. Of course, you're already going with someone else."
"Uh, hell no," he says, looking at me like I've lost it. "I may be in the closet, but I draw the line at fake dating one of these catty bitches."
"Sorry," I whisper. I think I insulted him, but that's not what I meant to do. I just meant that he's a handsome guy, he's funny, and he has a ton of friends here. He could ask anyone to go with him. Even if it were just for show, they would jump at the chance to be seen with him.
"Let's go together."
I blink at him.
"Why not?" he says, shrugging one massive shoulder. "I'd rather hang out with you than be miserable alone." He grimaces. "Shit, that did not come out right. I mean, I'd choose you over these bitches any day. At least you're cool, and you won't try getting in my pants."
"Thanks, I think," I say, teasing him.
"You know what I mean," he says, rolling his eyes. "It'll be good to hang with someone who knows, you know? Having this secret is fucking exhausting."
Empathy wells in my chest. I know exactly how it feels to have a secret. At my last school, everyone knew about my heart transplant. They treated me like I was fragile because of it. I got special treatment because they pitied me.
When I transferred, I didn't tell anyone. The school nurse and Gage are the only ones who know. I'm not ashamed of it. But I don't want special treatment because of it, either. I guess I got my wish, huh?
Victoria is vicious about my weight and has no clue about my heart. Honestly, I'd rather have her vitriol than her pity. At least the former is honest.
But at least my secret won't get me ostracized or disowned like Corey's could.
I can still be myself and love who I want to love without my own family rejecting me.
He can't. And even if his family accepted it, he wants to play football professionally.
Even in this day and age, there isn't a lot of room in the locker room for an openly gay athlete.
My secret and his aren't really the same at all.
"It's really not fair that the world is so cruel just because love doesn't look the same for you," I murmur. "You deserve better. I'm sorry, Corey."
"That's life, baby girl. It's cruel and unfair, but we live it anyway. Here." He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone. "Put your number in. I'll call you later and we'll work out the details for the dance."
"Are you sure?" I ask.
"Troian, put your number in the phone, girl! Damn."
I laugh and take the phone from him. Going with him won't be the same as going with Gage, but at least I won't have to sit in the corner by myself all night while Gage dances the night away with someone who isn't me.
I hate Prom. And boys.
I still don't hate Gage, though.
I could never hate him.