Chapter Fourteen
Troian
Gage and I don't say much as we hurry up the steps to his room, leaving the lights in the house off. As soon as we cross the threshold into his bedroom, I smile.
It's been a while since I was last in his room, but there are pictures of the two of us everywhere, as if he's covered his walls in his favorite memories. His room is always freakishly neat, unlike mine, and it always smells like him—like citrus and pine and some spice that's uniquely him.
I stride toward his desk, reaching out to run a finger across the teddy bear sitting beside his monitor. "I can't believe you still have this."
"Why wouldn't I?" he asks, pushing the door closed. "You spent a small fortune trying to win that damn bear for me." He turns to me, his lips quirked up into a grin. "The carnie was ready to just give it to you, but you refused to give up until you won it fair and square."
"Well, yeah," I mumble, shrugging. "I couldn't let a dart game beat me."
He chuckles, sauntering toward me. "Butterfly, the dart game at the fair beats everyone. The system is rigged."
"It didn't beat me."
"Nothing ever beats you."
I smile up at him, my heart beating a thousand miles a minute.
I'm not nervous, though. Not the way I thought I would be.
We've spent the last two weeks fooling around.
He's seen what I look like naked. He's made me come on his fingers and his tongue until I begged for mercy.
He's ruined me and then put me back together again at every available opportunity. But this is different.
Tonight, I'm giving him another little piece of myself that will be just his. I could be terrible at it. It could be awful. I don't know. But the only thing I'm really nervous about right now is what comes next for us. What happens if I have to say bye to him at the end of the summer?
I don't think I'll ever be ready for that.
"I love you," I whisper, tipping my head back to meet his gaze.
"Fuck," he murmurs, his eyes drifting close. "You've said it so many times now, but it's always like the first time, butterfly. There are no sweeter words."
"Really?" My lips curve into a grin as I loop my arms around his shoulders, lifting up on my toes until my breasts are pressed against his hard chest. "I bet I can come up with a few.
" I let my fingers drift through the hair at the nape of his neck, leaning forward until my lips are at his ear. "Get me naked, Gage."
"Shit," he growls, his hands clamping around my hips.
"Make love to me."
"Troian." His voice is nothing but a warning growl now, like he's on the verge of losing control. That doesn't make me want to behave. I like him like this—all desperate and growly. He's sexy when he's needy. He's even sexier when he's needy and in a suit with the tie hanging loose around his neck.
"I need you inside me."
That one sends him over the edge. He growls so loud I swear the neighbors probably hear it. And I'm no longer standing in front of him. I'm sailing through the air toward the bed, squealing with laughter.
He catches me before I land, pulling me up against his chest. His lips come down on mine in a wild kiss that's more heat and promise than anything. I melt into it, moaning against his lips.
"You're so damn soft," he whispers as he undresses me, carefully sliding the zipper of the dress down until the fabric parts beneath his hands. His lips follow the same path, kissing a trail of fire down my spine.
I arch and tremble, my legs shaking beneath me.
The dress pools at my feet, leaving me in nothing but a pink bra and matching panties.
"Jesus," he groans, pressing into me from behind. I feel his erection against my ass and then his lips at my throat. "You're so goddamn beautiful, butterfly."
"Show me."
He spins me around, cradling me gently in his arms as he spreads me out on his bed. His hands are shaking as he strips out of his suit, leaving it littering the floor in his impatience. His eyes never leave my face the whole time, almost like he can't look away from me.
Once he's naked, I lift my arms, desperate to feel him against me again. I want him to hold me, to love me until I forget anything but him exists.
"One second," he murmurs, pausing to rifle through his dresser before he stalks toward me, two condoms in his hand.
"You had those for long?" I ask.
"Only since the first time you came on my fingers.
" He smirks, crawling onto the bed with me.
"I was not going to be unprepared in case I was ever fortunate enough to end up here with you.
" He nuzzles my neck, his lips at my ear.
"I have them stashed in my truck, wallet, in your room, in my backpack, and every other goddamn place I could think of, too. "
I laugh softly, my body shaking beneath his. For some reason, I'm not surprised. I am grateful, though. As much as I do not want to think about my dad catching us dry-humping in his truck that day…their conversation was a good reminder that we have to be careful.
Talking to my mom about birth control options was awkward, too. But I'm not taking any risks, not if it means leaving the people I love too soon. Not if it means a pregnancy my heart can't handle.
"I love you for being prepared," I whisper.
"I'll never put you at risk."
I know he means it.
He brushes his lips against mine, his hands gliding up and down my sides in a way that has me melting beneath him. He deepens the kiss, and I moan into his mouth, getting lost in him and the way he makes me feel so alive, so perfect, and so wanted all at the same time.
By the time he breaks away, we're both panting. He smiles at me, so damn sweet and happy, before kissing a trail down my body. He lingers at my breasts, nipping, biting, and sucking through the thin fabric of my bra until I'm squirming beneath him.
When he finally pulls it off, sucking my nipple into his mouth without anything between us, I sob his name into the room.
"I love the way you cry out for me," he murmurs, running his lips across my scar and then down over my abdomen. His eyes, dark and wild, meet mine as he hooks his fingers into the band of my panties. "Let me hear how loud you can be for me, butterfly."
I wrap my hands up in the blankets, already knowing he's going to ruin me with his mouth.
I'm not wrong.
He tugs my panties down my legs, tossing them over his shoulder.
His lips brush my thigh as he lifts it over his shoulder, opening me up to him.
The way he stares at me… God, I should be embarrassed.
I should be squirming. But I love the way he looks at me like I'm the prettiest thing he's ever seen.
"Gage!" I sob, my back bowing from the bed as he splits me open with two fingers, licking from top to bottom.
His groan vibrates through me, shaking something wild loose.
He doesn't eat me so much as devours me like he was never taught manners, growling praises and grunting curses. He's wild between my legs, licking up every single drop I spill for him, and then begging for more.
It doesn't take long for him to send me careening over the edge into a rolling orgasm. My whole body ignites in a firestorm of bliss, leaving me gasping his name and shaking in the aftermath.
He rises up over me, wiping my juices from his mouth with the back of his hand. "Perfect," he growls, leaning down to kiss me sweetly, like he didn't just eat me like a beast.
I whimper, watching through a fog as he rips open a condom wrapper with his teeth before slipping it out. When he starts to slide it on, I sit up beneath him, reaching out.
"Fuck," he groans, his head falling back as I shift his hand out of the way to roll it over his erection. He bucks into my hand, a helpless little movement that tells me just how desperate he is.
I squeeze, the same way I did while I jerked him off last week in my bedroom before my parents got home.
"Fucking hell, baby," he rasps, his pupils dilated as he stares at me, panting wildly. "That little hand feels so fucking good."
I squeeze again, my fingers trailing along his balls.
He growls, flattening me to the bed beneath him. "Keep that up, and I'll be coming before I'm even inside you, Troian."
"Then maybe you should hurry and get inside me."
He growls again, shifting so he's between my legs. His erection bumps my clit, and we both moan loudly. There's no way I'm going to survive him. He's big and hard, and he already feels so damn good.
"Christ, baby," he groans, his forehead against mine as he rocks his hips so his cock glides against my clit again and again. "I could come just like this."
"Don't you dare. I want you inside me."
"Say it again."
"Make me yours, Gage," I say instead.
"You're already mine." He kisses me, messy and wild, one hand in my hair to hold me still. The other slips between our bodies.
I whimper into his mouth as he plays with me, grinding against my clit while working one finger and then another inside me.
"Gotta get you ready for me, butterfly," he rasps. "Can't hurt you."
"You won't," I sob, so close to the edge already, but I don't want to fall without him. I want him inside this time. I need it more than I need air. "Please, please, please."
He pulls his fingers out, pressing the head of his cock to my opening.
"Look at me, butterfly."
I peel my eyes open, meeting his gaze.
"I love you."
"I lov—"
He pushes forward, the head of his cock breaching my entrance. Maybe it should hurt. I don't know. That's what everyone at school says—that the first time hurts like hell. But…I don't feel pain. All I feel is stretched and full as he pushes forward, inch by inch.
"Jesus fuck," he groans, burying his face in my throat. "You feel so goddamn good. So good. Ah, God, butterfly. You're so perfect. So damn perfect. I love you. I love you so much."
I sob in response, every wrecked word from his lips making me more desperate and needy. I dig my nails into his back, trying to anchor myself in the moment or to reality, I'm not sure. All I know is that he feels incredible inside me and on top of me.
Tears leak from my eyes, but they aren't from pain. They're joy.
He stops when he sees them, going completely still. "Am I hurting you?"
"No," I choke. "You feel so good. Please, more."
He brushes my tears away, kissing all over my face. "You're so perfect, Troian. I hope you know that I'll never love anyone else," he whispers. "It'll always be you."
"It'll only ever be you, too," I vow, meaning it all the way to my soul. There is no one else for me. I feel that in my bones with a certainty that's absolute. For the rest of my life, it'll be Gage.
He kisses me sweetly, linking our fingers together above my head.
When he begins to move this time, I throw my head back, crying out.
"You like that, huh?"
"Yes!"
"Good." He rocks his hips into mine, every stroke igniting a fire inside my veins. "I'm going to keep doing it, butterfly. All damn night if you'll let me."
I sob in response, raking my teeth across his shoulder because I don't know what else to do with myself.
He really likes that. He goes harder, his hips slamming into mine hard enough to shake the bed beneath us.
"You have to come for me, baby," he groans.
"I…I…more," I plead, so close, but not there yet. I need…something.
He releases one of my hands, slipping his between our bodies. His thumb presses against my clit, grinding in perfect circles.
"Come, Troian," he growls. "Right now, butterfly."
Something about the command in his tone, the feel of him inside me, and the way he touches me like he knows exactly what I need does it for me. I shoot over the edge like a star plummeting from the sky, his name a sharp cry on my lips.
Waves crash into me, one after another, until I'm practically convulsing beneath him, every inch of my body overcome with pleasure.
"Troian!" he roars above me, slamming into me once. Twice. Three times. On the fourth stroke, he plants himself deep, growling. Every muscle in his body locks up. Even through the condom, I feel his cock spasming as he comes, spilling into the condom.
I moan out loud, peeling my eyes open to watch the way he trembles above me, his eyes burning with emotion, his cheeks flushed with pleasure. He's more beautiful than he's ever been.
When he can move, he collapses partially on top of me, rolling us so he isn't crushing me beneath him. His heart hammers against my chest as he wraps himself around me, clinging like he never wants to let me go.
"I love you," he whispers over and over, kissing everywhere he can reach. His hands shake as he runs them across me, like he's trying to remind himself that this is real—that I'm really here. "I love you so damn much, butterfly."
"You know the best thing that ever happened to me?" I ask in response.
He runs his hand along the scar over my heart. "This is."
"Okay, second best thing," I amend, because he's right. The heart I was gifted is the best thing that has ever happened to me. But the man in my arms? The one who does everything in his power to keep it safe? He's a close second.
"What?"
"Accidentally tripping myself in front of you on my first day at school," I whisper. "I thought I'd die of embarrassment. Instead, I found the most important part of my heart, the one that made me feel alive in a way the one beating in my chest never could."
"Jesus," he breathes, pressing his lips to mine in a fervent kiss. "I love you."
I smile up at him, confident and sure. "I know."