Chapter 4 #2
Tears of frustration burned in my eyes as the absolute helplessness of my situation fully hit me, but my uncle merely strolled toward the door, not even slightly perturbed.
At its threshold, he called over his shoulder, “It’s late, so I’m going to bed now.
You’re to spend the night in your chambers.
I shall reveal more of what I’ve learned of vampires tomorrow.
I’ll also share tidbits of history with you to share with your family back home to make them think you spent your time here studying only to leave without the answers as you’d hoped.
After that, you’ll return to Whiteolf. I have much planned for you there. ”
The rest of the night passed slowly. Agonizingly so. I kept waiting for fatigue to hit me. Kept waiting to feel tired. But all I felt was sparkling energy and the need to hunt, to consume.
And while I desperately wanted to venture downstairs to the library, to pilfer through my uncle’s books and hopefully discover a way to undo what he’d done to me, I couldn’t.
He’d commanded me to stay in my bedroom chambers.
Which meant I couldn’t leave.
Frustration returning, I wrapped my arms around myself and couldn’t help but notice my lower body temperature.
Everywhere I touched felt cool, and even though my gums no longer ached and my fangs weren’t out, the tips of my canines were sharper than my previous teeth.
It wasn’t noticeable when I looked in the mirror, but I could feel the difference when I ran my tongue over them.
Another thing I’d learned since being caged in this room was that for my fangs to lengthen, all I had to do was envision drinking blood, but since my uncle had commanded me to keep them hidden, I forced thoughts of blood from my mind.
I shuddered in the moonlight and wrapped my arms tighter around myself. The one time I’d accidentally let my fangs out, they’d been terrifying to look at. When extended, it was hard to speak, and it was obvious they served one purpose and one purpose only. To tear, to drink, to kill.
And they’d looked exactly like the fangs my uncle Timith had grown before the Stone saved him.
Monster. The horrid word whispered through my consciousness, torturing me with its endless repetition, but it was true. I was now a monster.
I gazed out the window and ran my tongue over my canines again. Sharp tips greeted me, and the tangy taste of venom did too.
The Lochen fae also had canines, but they were nothing like mine. Lochen fangs were small, and they didn’t lengthen, but my fangs were long and wickedly sharp. They didn’t look fae. They made me look like an animal.
I tilted my chin up and gazed at the moons. Trepidation slithered through me. Tomorrow, Royden and I would be returning to Whiteolf.
The Imperial Warrior would never know what’d truly happened to us here since my magic had altered his mind. And the commands my uncle had placed on me thus far indicated that my magic was going to continue to be used against others.
A sick feeling twisted through me, and I prayed with everything I had that my uncle wouldn’t command that I not hunt for answers to undo this.
Because I had to find a way to undo it. I had to.
Otherwise, my horrific, monstrous existence would carry on, and I would be powerless to stop it, and worst of all, Arnel’s horrific commands would carry on indefinitely.
Tears of frustration again shimmered in my eyes, and my thoughts shifted to Kole.
My chest hurt at the thought of him, but relief hit me just as fast that even though I’d changed, I still wanted him, still loved him.
The fact that I could feel love nearly made me weep in gratitude, but it also brought on the reality of what I was facing.
Another shudder ran through me because what I’d felt for that female when I’d been drinking her blood had nearly overtaken me. Never, in all the time I’d known Kole, had I felt anything sexual for anyone else. But I’d felt that for that female. I’d betrayed Kole by feeling that.
“And the gods know sooner or later, I may do something to fully betray him,” I whispered to the night.
My chest hurt again, even more, at the devastation Kole would inevitably feel knowing that I’d been with another, even if it was something driven by the monster I’d turned into and wasn’t something I innately wanted. But it would inevitably happen, and that fact hit me like a thunderclap.
Tears spilled onto my cheeks because I could see no way out of this.
Even if Kole and I figured out how to deal with the Council’s restrictions on him, even if we managed to convince my parents to let us stay together, even if we were actually allowed to be together, it didn’t mean that he and I would have a happy ending.
How could we when I would ultimately betray him?
No, don’t think that. There has to be a way. There’s always a way.
Some of my inherent optimism sparked inside me, and I latched onto it. Still looking upward, I blinked rapidly at the moons shining brightly in the sky and prayed to all of the gods and goddesses that I could find a way out of this.
Because if my uncle’s plans were allowed to continue . . .
I glanced down at my chest, at my dead heart. If our realm’s destruction, or his personal advancements, or potentially overthrowing my father’s hold on the throne were what my uncle had in store for me, then I would do whatever was necessary to stop my deadly essence.
I wouldn’t allow myself to destroy and hurt everything and everyone that I loved.