Chapter 27
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
I spent the rest of the day with my family, Lillith joining us too. Kole also pulled her aside, looking glass in hand, and when Lillith returned to my parents’ sitting room, unlike the poised stoicism Koraline had shown, she burst into tears and hugged me so tightly I felt crushed.
But like Koraline, she didn’t say anything, also seeming to understand the importance of never voicing nor alluding to what I’d become . . . if they truly knew.
For all I knew, Kole had only told them that Arnel had been the one who tried to assassinate and then capture me. It was possible my family was still entirely in the dark that I was a vampire.
Or maybe they weren’t.
I would never know.
When we all sat down for the evening meal, it was the first time since living in the palace that I didn’t use my parents’ potion to test my food.
All of those vials had been cleared away, no longer needed.
And even though my parents invited Kole to join us, he said he needed to take care of a few things, causing my anxiety to spike.
I walked with him to the door as everyone else began to eat. “Are you feeling okay?” I asked him quietly.
“I’m fine, my love. I simply mean that I need to return to the Council. I need to fill them in on a few things.” He kissed me on the forehead, his love strumming toward me along our bond.
Once he left, I sat at the table again, and by the time we finished the meal, Kole was waiting for me in the hallway. New clothes adorned him, and even though he looked tired, he was still alert.
I was emotionally drained. Terrified too. I held his hand tightly and searched him for signs of unwellness.
But instead of telling me that I was overreacting, Kole tugged me, and we began walking back to my chambers. But the entire time, his jaw pumped.
“What happened at the Council?” I asked hesitantly.
He took a breath, held it, then slowly let it out. “You were right. That vamfeer’s blood infected me. The lead healer confirmed that I have foreign, powerful magic coursing through my bloodstream.”
I froze, my feet planting to the floor. “No,” I whispered. “No. No. No.”
Everything around me began to blur.
The walls were closing in.
The ceiling was crashing down.
Kole was going to turn into a vamfeer.
My mate was going to die.
And all because he’d come with me to my uncle’s, in hopes of protecting me.
Not Kole.
Not Kole.
Not Kole.
Warm hands cupped my cheeks. A voice from far away called my name. Love, fierce and devoted, surged toward me along the golden bond billowing inside me.
“The Council is actively working to stop this.” Kole’s words finally infiltrated the fog encasing me. “I gave them that trunk of Arnel’s documents and the remaining potions. They’re combing through them as we speak. They’ll do everything they can to find a remedy to stop my infection.”
I blinked. “A remedy?”
“Yes, they have Arnel’s potions and findings. They’re going to try to find a way to reverse what’s happening inside me.”
I blinked again. “Could they do that?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“What if they can’t? Or what if they don’t find a remedy in time, before you . . . before you—” Tears flooded my eyes. I couldn’t continue. I couldn’t bear to voice what was coming for him.
“I know.” He sounded resigned. Accepting.
Because we both knew that the chances of the Imperial Council finding a cure or developing some kind of anti-potion to counteract the vile concoction coasting through Kole were near impossible.
It’d taken Tenevris’s help for Arnel to create that potion, and as strong as the Imperial Council was, they weren’t a god.
I gripped his tunic tightly. “I can’t lose you. I can’t.”
His arms were around me before I’d finished my sentence. “I know, my love. I know.”
Sadness. Regret. Fury. All of Kole’s internal emotions flowed to me, and I knew that all of my despair and fear were flowing right back to him.
“But we still have a little time,” he said quietly. “I’m not turned yet.”
“It’s not fair,” I muffled against his chest. I wanted to punch something. Wail at someone. Curse the damned stars. “It’s not fair. You don’t deserve that.”
“I know.”
“And if I hadn’t asked you to go with me, if I hadn’t—”
“Shh, none of that.” He squeezed me more. “I made my choices, and they were mine. I could have asked for other warriors to join us, but I didn’t.”
“How could you when we had no proof of what Arnel had done?”
He sighed heavily. “Regardless, it’s in the past now. What’s done is done.”
He already spoke of his fate as though it’d happened, which made me furious but tender at the same time.
Because Kole wasn’t one to wallow in self-pity, nor was he one to pretend events weren’t happening.
He was a realist. As he’d told me all those weeks ago when we’d flown on his enchanted carpet out of Inisville.
He knew the infection within him was spreading.
Just as he knew it was near impossible that the Imperial Council would invent a cure in time to stop its progression.
He was going to turn into a vamfeer, and he knew there was no fighting it.
“What will the Council do if you change?”
His throat bobbed against me. “The same thing we’ve done to all vamfeers.”
“Even to you? They’ll kill you?”
His arms tightened. “If I’m not safe around others—”
“No. I’ll keep everyone safe. I can do that. My magic can prevent you from hurting anyone. I won’t allow them to kill you.”
He didn’t respond. He kept holding me, and in that moment, I realized how much the odds were stacked against us. Kole would change. If I somehow managed to keep the Council from ending him, my life would revolve around using my magic to keep Kole controlled.
But I would do it. Even if he tried to hurt me. Even if he was no longer him.
“I’ll always love you,” I said in a choked voice. “No matter what. No matter what you become, I’ll love you, and I won’t leave you.”
His throat bobbed again. “Come,” he said quietly.
Forcing myself to move, I walked stiffly down the hall with him. When we reached my door, Xaven was gone.
“Are all of the Imperial Warriors off the palace grounds?”
Kole nodded. “They are. All will be reassigned elsewhere starting tomorrow.”
I licked my lips, almost too afraid to ask, “And . . . you? Has the Council made any demands of you?”
He raked a hand through his hair. “No. Given what’s going to happen, I’ve been relieved of all duties.”
Because he was infected.
My throat tightened, but he didn’t need to spend his remaining time constantly consoling and reassuring me.
He’d been strong for me, and now I needed to be strong for him.
I flung my arms around him but didn’t allow any further tears.
“Stay with me. Stay with me always. Even when you—” I swallowed thickly.
“Even as a vamfeer, you can’t hurt me, not because of what I am.
I won’t leave you. Even if you’re no longer you, and you don’t know who I am.
Even if you try to hurt me, I’m not leaving you.
We’re together forever. No matter what.”
His voice grew thick. “Prim, I don’t know what the Council will ultimately do or what state of mind I’ll be in after I change. I may not . . .”
For the first time, his composure fractured, and I cupped his cheeks and pressed kisses along his jaw. “I know, but you’re my mate. I’ll never leave you. No matter what.”
He groaned and pulled me back into his embrace. He held me tightly, and even though none of this was fair, even though neither of us had done anything to deserve these horrific fates, we were together through the end.
No matter what came.