Chapter 34
Chapter Thirty-Four
As they traveled, the woods they were riding through changed. This wood was far less traveled, and the paths they followed were becoming increasingly more narrowed as trees and plants vied for any available space on the forest floor. Their horses hardly fit walking side by side on the path.
Sick of the silence, Owain pulled his horse in front of Orla’s, cutting her off from the narrow path and forcing her horse to stop.
“Will you please talk to me!” He hadn’t meant it to come out as a yell, but he was at his wits end. She had given him no opportunity to say his peace. He knew that she had every right to be angry with him, but this silent treatment had felt unfair.
Owain was foolish for thinking the word.
He knew life wasn’t fair, and a large part of him felt that he deserved whatever punishment Orla decided for his mistreatment of her.
But just like at the palace, he couldn’t be around her without wanting her.
And not only her body, though the agony of sleeping close to her each night and not touching her was weighing on him.
He wanted her. Her mind, her laugh, her thoughts. He wanted to know how training her magic was going, and if she was still having nightmares or nervous attacks. He wanted to know what went on in that beautiful mind of hers. He wanted to smell her wildflower scent and hear her wind-chime voice.
But at this rate, he would settle for her looking him in the eyes.
And though she wouldn’t admit it to him, she must have still cared for him.
She wore the ring he had given her, though now it sat on a chain around her neck, sitting next to the emerald medallion she wore, instead of on her middle finger.
He hadn’t mentioned to her that he noticed, fearing that she would chuck the ring away just to make a point.
“What do you want me to say to you, Owain?” Her dark brows were low over her eyes, fists clenched on her horse’s reins.
“Anything,” he said desperately.
“Okay. How about the last several days have been torture. Each morning, I wake up and see your face, and for the briefest second, I feel so fucking happy to be near you. And then I remember what you did and how you hurt me and it cuts all over again.”
His heart dropped out of his stomach, but he couldn’t help the small smile that crossed his lips. She had never been one to mince her words; he loved that about her.
“There. Was that enough talking for you?” She made to move her horse forward, but Owain was still blocking her path.
“It’s a start. I’m not asking you to forgive me, Orla. I’m just asking you to talk to me.”
“What if I never forgive you?” she replied, her eyes looking down at the forest floor.
They stayed like that for long minutes before he moved out of her way and continued down the path.
After a few moments, Owain replied solemnly, “It would never change how I feel about you.”
That night, they made camp near an outcropping of rocks. They had another four or five days of travel before they would make it to the inn. From there, they would have to scale the mountain on foot as the paths would be too rocky and narrow for horses.
While Orla tended to the fire, Owain set up a few snare traps.
He caught two fat squirrels that would go nicely with some of the root vegetables he had collected earlier in the day.
After he skinned and cleaned his kills, he roasted them over the fire.
It was a clear night; he could see every star and constellation in the sky.
Orla reached into her pack and pulled out some of her dried meat.
“I won’t be able to eat all this myself,” Owain said, gesturing to the squirrel and vegetables that he was pulling off the fire.
“Save that for farther up the mountain when the game is harder to come by.” He pulled out two plates from his pack and put one of the squirrels and half the vegetables on a plate before handing it to her.
She mumbled a terse thank you before beginning to eat.
As they ate, Owain gazed at the night sky, taking in the constellations. The bright lights shone amongst the inky black background. The dark depths reminded him of Orla’s eyes. Pools so deep he couldn’t help but drown in them, regardless of if he wanted to or not.
“Did I ever tell you about the fall of Amara?” Owain pointed up to the constellation of Amara in the sky. He was remembering their time together in the palace chapel. It was the first time he had heard Orla laugh.
She shook her head.
“I told you about the battle of Amara and Jove. The two were considered the most powerful of all the Gods. Though only one was worth worshiping in my opinion.” He smiled softly, but Orla refused to meet his gaze.
“After their battle, the two were considered equals. Both had followers who built temples in their honor. Whole holidays were set to celebrate them. But to Jove, it wasn’t enough.
He still wanted to be the one true God, for all to know his greatness.
That wasn’t the case for Amara; for her, all she wanted was to be loved.
Unlike the other Gods, she was always alone, destruction following her everywhere she went.
Jove knew this, so he used the God of the Heart, Zeph, against Amara.
You see, Amara loved Zeph, but she kept away from the other God for fear that her destruction magic would cause pain and misery to the one she loved. ”
He looked over at Orla, she wasn’t looking at him, but he knew she was listening.
“Jove told Zeph about Amara’s feelings for him, and Zeph returned those feelings.
The two were happy and in love. Until Jove used Gaius to trick Amara.
Gaius convinced her that her Zeph was an illusion made by Jove and that the only way to free the true Zeph from Jove’s magic was to destroy the imposter.
By the time Amara realized their deception it was too late, she had destroyed the one being she loved beyond all else. ”
He remembered the first time his mother had told him this story.
He was a small boy, but even then she knew how easily influenced he was by his desire to be accepted by others.
His mother knew how easily those desires could be corrupted and could lead him astray.
It was only when he became a man, and she was long dead, that he realized that she told him the story in hopes that he would learn to resist the tricks of others and to see what was in front of him.
That sometimes we have the thing we want most in the world, but we are unable to see it.
A sad smile crossed Owain’s lips. “It’s said that that is why Amara’s constellation is so far from the others.
” He pointed to the night sky, showing how far away Amara’s constellation was for those of the other Gods.
“She wanders the night, looking for Zeph’s remains.
Hoping she can find a way to bring her beloved back from the abyss.
But as her magic is only destruction, she will be cursed to wander forever without her heart. ”