16. abbi #2
We fall into silence as we enjoy our food, stealing glances at each other between bites.
With each moment that passes, the stifling mood from before dissipates a little more, allowing me to relax and enjoy my meal.
Watching my husband as he cuts into his steak, the muscles of his forearms shifting and moving, his strong fingers gripping his knife and fork, a different hunger begins to build in my body.
I’ve missed my husband’s touch … craved his affection, which used to be given so freely.
I wonder if we can get that back?
“Wait until you see how much Evan’s grown since his last birthday,” Nix’s voice snaps me out of my pondering.
I glance at him. “When is his party again?”
“Sunday afternoon.”
My heart sinks. “I’m sorry, Nix. I completely forgot. Prue and I have an appointment at a bridal shop on Sunday afternoon. I don’t think I’ll be able to make it.”
He waves off my concern. “Don’t worry about it. It’s more important Prue finds her perfect dress.” He smiles, easing my guilt that I’ve double-booked. “What number dress shop will this be?”
I chuckle, shaking my head mildly. “You know, I’ve lost count. She’s so damn fussy. She’s tried on some gorgeous dresses that would be perfect, but she always finds something she doesn’t like about them. At this point, she may have to design it herself and find a seamstress to make it.”
Nix’s eyes widen. “When did she get so fussy?”
I lift my shoulders. “I have no idea. But I think some of the problem is that she’s not used to wearing such a fancy dress, so she finds anything she tries uncomfortable. She’s used to wearing her work clothes and boots or her weekend attire of shorts or jeans.”
The server stops by our table and collects our empty plates. “How was your meal?”
“Delicious,” Nix and I respond at the same time.
He smiles. “I’ll tell the chef. Can I get you anything else? Another drink, perhaps?”
We look at each other, and I can read his thoughts. He’s ready to get out of here, the same as me. Nix looks back up at our server. “We’ll take the check, please.”
Nix pulls down a familiar road, and my lips spread wider than they have in forever. When he reaches the parking lot, he turns off his truck and angles his body toward me. “Do you remember the last time we came up here?”
I smile at the memory as I nod. “Yep.” I twist toward him.
“Our twentieth wedding anniversary. If I remember correctly, the city was experiencing a cold snap, and it was like forty degrees.” We were still doing okay at that point, even through his deployments.
“And you insisted we needed to follow through with our plan even though it was colder than a snow cone outside.” We both chuckle and shiver at the same time.
“Well, it’s a balmy fifty-four tonight. Fancy taking a walk to see if we can find our lock?” He raises his eyebrows, waiting for my answer.
I glance across at the chain-link fence, almost covered from end to end in locks that couples have left behind as a symbol of their love and commitment to one another. “I’m not sure we’ll be able to find it. There are so many now.” I unbuckle my seatbelt. “But let’s give it a shot.”
Nix’s eyes twinkle in the overhead light of the cab. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
He reaches over the back seat and grabs our coats. “Wait for me.”
I nod, then watch him climb out of his truck and round the front to my door, the lights from the bridge glowing behind him.
He opens it, holding my coat open for me.
Once I have it on, he gently pulls my hair out of the collar and fastens the buttons.
Then he puts his own coat on, tangles his fingers in mine, and we head toward the fence.
White clouds of warm air bloom with each breath we take, and my nose is already beginning to run.
I wish I’d thought to bring each of us a beanie and a pair of gloves, but I had no idea Nix was planning this trip down memory lane tonight.
He tugs me forward a little further, pointing to a section of the fence.
“I think our lock might be around here. I remember it being in line with that pylon over there.”
I study where he’s pointing. “Are you sure? I don’t remember it being that far along the fence from the parking lot. We just wanted to get it secured and jump back in the car where it was warm.” I glance up at my husband, noting the furrow between his brows.
He rubs the back of his neck as he looks along the fence and back to the parking lot. “You might be right. This may be harder than I thought it would be.”
The fence closest to the parking lot is densely populated with love locks.
This won’t be an easy task, but I tug him toward the area where I think our lock may be.
We both pull out our phones and use the flashlights to scan the locks row by row because neither of us can remember where exactly we attached our lock.
We chose a red heart-shaped padlock, thinking it would be unique, but there are so many in the same or similar style.
After fifteen minutes of searching, a shiver works its way through my body as the night chill seeps through my clothes.
Nix notices and wraps his arm around me, rubbing his hand up and down my body to create some warmth.
“I’m not sure we’re going to find it; maybe we should come back when it’s a little warmer. ”
I glance up at him, noting his disappointment in the furrow between his brows. “We can look a little longer. It must be around here somewhere.” I press my hand against his stomach. “Who’d have thought there would be so many locks like the one we chose all these years later.”
He chuckles. “Not me. I thought we were clever when we chose the lock we did.”
We return to our search, moving along the fence. It’s nowhere to be found in the area I thought we’d chosen. “It’s definitely not here. Maybe you were right about the location being over there.” I point down the fence, toward the spot Nix initially suggested.
“It’s worth a shot.” He takes my hand and leads me along the chain-link fence, keeping his eyes on the bridge until he’s in line with the pylon.
We repeat the process in silence for a few minutes. As I turn over the red heart-shaped lock near the center of the section of fence, my lips spread wide. “Found it!” I exclaim.
Nix crouches behind me, peering over my shoulder, the warmth from his body chasing away the cold.
When I look at him, his smile captures my attention, and the urge to kiss him is overwhelming, so I do.
I press my lips to his, and my body sighs at the contact.
He’s the only man I’ve ever kissed and the only man I ever want to kiss.
His warm hand caresses my cool cheek as he presses his mouth more firmly against mine.
We open to each other, and our tongues begin their timeless dance.
The familiarity of spending decades together leads to a seamless transition from a light kiss to one that’s filled with heat and desire.
Our kiss lingers, neither of us in a hurry to part, until a shiver snakes its way through my body. Nix quickly stands, pulling me up with him. “We should go. You’re cold.”
I shake my head. “I am cold, but I think we should take a photo with our lock, so we can find it easier next time we come looking for it.”
He pauses, his eyes skimming over my face. “You think we’ll still be together in another nine years?” He murmurs, hope filling his eyes.
Silence lingers between us, both of us understanding and quietly acknowledging where we’re at now and the possibility that we may not be together then.
I glance at our love lock and remember the night we placed it there.
It was so damn cold, and I didn’t want to linger, but Nix kissed me until I felt drunk and the cold was the last thing on my mind.
Even after twenty years of marriage, two kids, and too many years of separation to count, we were so deeply in love.
I didn’t think anything could tear us apart.
I thought we were solid. I thought we would be one of those couples you see on the news celebrating their seventieth wedding anniversary who still look at each other with a twinkle in their eyes and speak words of admiration and respect. I wanted that. I still want that.
I peer up at Nix, who seems to be holding his breath as he patiently waits for me to answer him. “I’d like to try,” I murmur.
He leans in with a smile, stealing another kiss. “I promise you won’t be sorry, Abs,” he whispers gruffly against my lips.
My throat feels clogged with emotion, so I nod, then tuck my head into the crook of his neck as we embrace tightly.
Another shiver works its way through my body, causing Nix to pull away. “C’mon, let’s take this selfie and get going.”
We pose on either side of the lock, each holding it between our fingers—it’s a little worse for wear, but it’s ours. If I think about the symbolism of it all, our love lock is a little weathered by time and a lack of upkeep, much like the state of our marriage.
Once the memory has been captured, Nix shows me the photo on his phone, and I smile at what I see. I look happier than I have in a long time. I can see it in the sparkle of my eyes and depth of the dimples in my cheeks. Nix looks happy too, and I hope tonight’s the beginning of us moving forward.
Nix pockets his phone and wraps his arm around my shoulder. “C’mon. I’ll take you home where it’s warm.”
Our headlights light up the front of our home as Nix pulls down our driveway.
Instead of parking in the garage, he stops as close as he can to the front door and turns off the engine.
Before I can make sense of what’s happening, he jumps out of the truck and comes around to help me out.
I’m so confused. “Why didn’t you park in the garage?
” I ask as my boots land on the driveway.