30. abbi
ABBI
Lying on my side, my hands tucked beneath my cheek, I study Nix. He looks as exhausted as I feel. Without permission, my eyes dart over his shoulder at the open door leading next door, and anxiety builds that he’s going to sleep away from me tonight.
“How are you feeling?” His eyes trace over every millimeter of my face as if searching for my truth before I speak.
“Exhausted,” I sigh. “But relieved. So relieved.” Every part of my body feels like lead. I’m surprised the mattress can support me.
He nods, his eyes dropping to my throat as his hand squeezes my hip. “Me too. And your throat?” he asks quietly, worry pinching between his eyebrows.
It hurts like a bitch every time I swallow or speak, but I’ve done my best to hide any discomfort and I’m not proud to say, but I’ve taken more ibuprofen than is recommended.
I figure it won’t hurt this time since I rarely take medication.
I tug his hand from beneath his cheek and bring his hand to my lips, pressing a kiss to his palm.
His face scrunches up as if my kiss causes him pain. “I’m okay. I promise.”
“I’ll apologize every day for the rest of my life. I’m so sorry I hurt you.” He adjusts his position, bringing him closer, and raises his hand from my hip to tuck my hair behind my ear, his eyes following the movement.
I move closer, so close that our lips are almost touching. “I just want to put it behind us. Nothing you did was intentional, Nix. I need you to hear me when I tell you I don’t hold you responsible.” Maybe I’m being na?ve and reckless, but I want to believe the worst is behind us.
His breath ghosts over my lips like a caress, and his hand cups the back of my head, tangling his fingers in my hair. “I’m still sorry.”
He touches his lips to mine so softly, I’m not sure if he meant it.
He pulls away and presses his mouth to the corner of mine just as softly, then repeats it on the other corner of my mouth.
His kisses are intentional, and my heart responds with a kick.
My blood fizzes, pops, and bubbles like champagne as he slowly kisses his way along my jaw to the spot just behind my ear.
I tilt my head back, momentarily forgetting that I shouldn’t do that right now.
“Ow.” Nix pulls away, but I’m not having it. “Please don’t stop.”
He doesn’t say anything, but he doesn’t need to when he picks up where he left off.
The rough hair of his beard teases my skin deliciously as he kisses his way down the side of my throat and across every millimeter of flesh as if he’s trying to kiss away the memory of what happened last night.
His lips on my skin send flames licking down my body.
I press my thighs together and push my lower half against my husband, hoping to find some kind of friction to build on the ache he’s started at my core.
I need him to kiss me lower, to remove the flimsy fabric between us and kiss every inch until he reaches the space between my thighs, where I need him most. I press into him, hoping to convey what I need, and he rolls me onto my back so he can lean over me.
His normally steely gaze almost matches the color of his elysium wedding band, and I’d have to be blind to miss the lustful way he watches me.
The way he traces his eyes over every part, checking that I’m okay with what we’re doing.
Our breaths merge in the space between us, hot and panting.
And if he doesn’t kiss me again, I think I might actually die.
I wait, giving him time to decide if he wants to take this any further.
I watch the battle rage behind his eyes, lust fighting against what he thinks is the right thing to do as his eyes drop to my throat periodically.
Finally, he dips his head, closing the distance and presses his mouth to mine.
A light touch at first, that quickly grows firmer.
A soft moan vibrates through my body as I reach up and tease my fingers up the back of his neck, into his hair, sending goosebumps across his smooth skin.
His tongue comes out to play with mine as he drops his pelvis into the cradle of mine, grinding against my core.
I press up into him as best I can from beneath him, keen to be an active participant, all soreness forgotten.
He groans into my mouth, and I swallow the gravelly sound as if I’m starving.
More of his weight presses down on me, and his warm hands trace a slow path down each side of my body, pausing at the sides of my breasts, making me squirm beneath him as his touch leaves a trail of electricity behind.
When his hands reach the bottom of my silky nightshirt, the heat of his palms scald the flesh of my thighs. With a few kisses and touches, he’s built an urgency in me I can’t ignore. I grind my hips against his hardness, teasing both of us further into bliss.
He tears his lips from mine, breath panting against my mouth as his eyes drill into mine. “Abbi?”
I grind upward again. “I want you,” I whisper, scraping my short nails along his scalp.
His eyes drop closed, and he sighs, soaking up my attention.
We’ve neglected each other in terms of touch and affection over the last few years, and I want to change that.
I want my husband back in every way. I draw patterns with the tips of my fingers along his scalp, down the back of his neck, and further still along his shoulder blades.
His muscles tense and ripple beneath my ministrations as he swipes his thumb back and forth across the tops of my thighs, pushing my pajamas higher with each stroke.
He pinches the silky fabric between his fingers, pulling it tight against my thigh. “Can I take this off?”
“Please.”
He pushes up, resting on his knees between my thighs, and helps me to sit.
His eyes are intense as he follows the same path down my body with his warm hands, pressing the silky fabric against my skin, sending sensation radiating across every inch.
When he reaches the sides of my breasts, he cups them and pushes them together, creating cleavage above the top button.
He slowly leans down; anticipation firing through me as I wait for his mouth to make contact.
The sensation of his short beard scraping across the tops of my breasts has me arching my chest further into him.
His hot breath ghosts across my sensitized breasts as he chuckles at my eagerness. I bring my hand back up to his head and press him into me.
“So impatient,” he mumbles against my heated flesh. My nipples bead at the feel of his lips moving, and when he presses an open-mouthed kiss there, I almost combust. He knows how much I love having his attention on my boobs.
I moan softly, soaking up every kiss he places on my exposed skin, before I feel his fingers tugging at the button to reveal more.
He moves his lips to cover every inch with more kisses; the rasp of his beard a stark contrast to the softness of his lips and tongue.
A second button is released, and Nix groans as my nipple is exposed to his ministrations.
He doesn’t waste a moment, taking one peaked bud into his mouth and sucking gently.
It’s maddening. Not enough, and he knows it.
“Stop teasing me,” I rasp softly, thrusting my chest forward against his chuckle.
Every kiss, suck, and lick sends sparks of electricity straight to my clit, and if he doesn’t give me more soon, I’ll take matters into my own hands.
“But you know it’s my favorite thing to do,” he murmurs against my breast, his eyes locked on mine.
I huff, resigned to letting him go at his pace. I just need to get out of my head and feel. Soak up his attention.
And every touch from his mouth and hands feels amazing on my body after being starved of his affection for so long.
He drags his hands down my body, mapping my ribs, waist, hips before he reaches the hem of my sleep shirt.
His warm palms make contact with my thighs, slipping beneath the silky fabric and pushing it up.
Higher and higher his palms glide up my body, tracing back over the path they just made, taking the fabric with him.
My skin erupts with goosebumps as my body is exposed to the cool air of our room.
I raise my arms so he can slip the garment over my head.
Without taking his eyes from my body, he tosses it to the floor, leaving me in my panties.
He bites his bottom lip, shaking his head slightly, his eyes burning a path over every square inch of my flesh.
It’s hard to stay still under his lustful perusal when I want to preen under his attention.
I subtly roll my shoulders back, pushing my breasts out further.
His lips tip up when he notices, while his eyes linger on them, making them feel achy and heavy. “So pretty.”
Grasping the back of his T-shirt, he yanks it over his head and sends it flying to the floor, and I grin.
His broad chest rises and falls with exaggerated breaths, and I trace my eyes over his defined muscles.
He’s still in such good shape. He’s hairier than he used to be; the dark strands are mixed with some gray now. A silver fox.
My silver fox.
I trace a path with my finger from his collarbone, down past his pecs, over his abs, and finish at the waistband of his sleep pants, which are tenting proudly with his erection. I dip my fingers beneath the elastic and stretch it out. “Take these off too.”
He shakes his head playfully, raising his eyebrows at me.
“Trying to rush me again, Abs.” Leaning forward, he kisses my shoulder.
“Let me look after you.” He kisses further up, just behind my ear, sending shivers racing down my spine.
“Let me show you how much I love you.” His hot breath puffs over my lips a second before he seals his mouth to mine.
I’m quick to catch up, and we give and take in equal measure.
Our tongues tangle with familiarity, and I sigh.
My entire body sighs at the taste of his passion.