36. nix #2
Al sings about loving whether times are good or bad, and it reminds me why I brought my wife out here. I press a soft kiss on her lips, our breaths visible between us. Cupping her face in my hands, I tilt her chin up a little, allowing our eyes to latch together.
“I wanted to thank you, not only for making today so special for Prue and Luke, but for always making our family your priority. For everything …”—I swallow past the lump in my throat—“every part of yourself that you gave up to raise our kids, create a home, and be the best mother and wife we could ever hope to have.”
Her eyes grow glassy and she shakes her head a little. “Nix,” she murmurs.
“You give so much of yourself for us, and I was selfish for a long time. I took everything you gave like the selfish bastard I am … and I took you for granted.” Pain lances my voice when I think of all the years I took and took from the woman in front of me without a second thought.
I pinch her chin between my finger and thumb as she tries to look away from me.
“Now it’s my turn to give you my everything.
You’ve always had my heart and soul, but this time ’round, I give you all of me: the good, the bad, the downright ugly. ”
Her hands slide from around my waist, and she brings them up between us, gripping my shirt. A tear slips over her bottom lashes, and I lean down to kiss it away. Her bottom lip trembles as her eyes deep-dive into mine, seeking my truth.
“Watching our daughter get married and seeing the love between her and Luke took me back in time to our wedding day. I was so in love with you. It felt bigger than I could fit inside my body. But it was only a smidgen of how big my love for you would grow over the years.” Another tear drops over her lashes as she blinks and blinks.
“And I know as much love as I have for you today, it will only be a smidgen of how much I’ll love you when we come to the end of our days. ”
I release my hold on her and dip my hand into my pocket, pinching the chain between my fingers to drag it out of its hiding place. I’ve been waiting all day to give this to her and now feels like the best time. The right time.
I spin her around and cradle her from behind as I show her the gift I bought for her. Her gasp breaks the silence as she reaches up to touch the heart-shaped diamond with the tips of her fingers.
“Nix,” she murmurs, looking at me over her shoulder. “You didn’t have to do this. I was happy to give mine to Prue.”
I shrug. “I always promised to get you a bigger one.” The diamond she had was pitiful, but it was all I could afford at the time.
Even though it was tiny, Abbi loved and cherished it as if it were the heart-shaped diamond Richard Burton gifted Elizabeth Taylor for her fortieth birthday.
And while this one still isn’t on par with that famous diamond, it’s more than double the size of the one I gifted her on our wedding day.
“I’ve never needed anything more than what you gave me, Nix. You’ve always been enough for me. You’re all I want,” she says softly, each word deliberately chosen. “But thank you. It’s beautiful.”
My emotions expand outward, and tears sting the backs of my eyes because I’ve always known I was enough for Abbi …
that she didn’t need or want all the extra bullshit.
That was all me and my insecurities. I swallow my emotions down and clasp the necklace around her neck, then turn her around to face me again.
I fidget with the heart, ensuring it sits just right against the dip between her collarbones.
I close the distance between us and gently take her trembling lip between my teeth.
I soothe the sting with a soft kiss and, without taking my mouth from hers, I pledge.
“From now until the end of time, I’ll bow at your feet, and I promise with everything I am I’ll treat you like the queen you are.
I’ll never stop showing you how precious you are to me. I love you, Abs.”
Her hands come up around my neck, and she tightens her hold, eliminating every breath of space between us. “I love you, Nix.” Her soft declaration soothes me in ways that reach deep inside me, and the space between our lips disappears when I take her mouth in a heady kiss to seal my promise to her.
Our tongues meet, our breaths join together, and I kiss her with every ounce of love I feel for her.
We linger in the moment, extending our kiss, deepening it, savoring it.
We taste and explore each other beneath the gazebo in our very own sanctuary.
And as we kiss, I imagine kissing her for the rest of my days, until we’re old and gray, with grandkids and great-grandkids surrounding us in this very spot.
When the need for oxygen becomes too much and we pull away from each other, panting to catch our breath, I see my future clearly in her soft smile. And I know in the deepest recesses of my being that we’re going to be okay.