15. Johnny
Johnny
Ryan was due to arrive in the next hour, and even though I was nervous about him coming for the quick trip, I had started to look forward to it.
I still saw Ryan fairly regularly at different family events and, most recently, at Kinsley’s first birthday.
But it was different being on my home turf.
Port St. Clair was my home now. Even though the majority of my life was in Detroit and Denizen with Ryan and my parents, and Anne, this was home now.
I was looking forward to showing him around town. He hadn’t been here since we were kids, touring the properties and resort, and introducing my friends… introducing Beth, even if it was a short-term thing.
Not long after I tidied everything up, the gravel crunched as their minivan made its way up the drive.
The house was still in town but had a longer driveway surrounded by towering oaks, creating expansive shade in the yard.
People loved renting this place, and in the back of my mind, I was hoping their visit could be an annual event.
I stepped onto the front stoop and watched my brother unbuckle Kinsley from her car seat.
It had been over a year since she was born, and I still couldn’t get used to Ryan being a dad.
It felt foreign compared to how I lived my life, and even though he seemed to really love it, it was still strange to see him in action.
“Johnny!” Ryan yelled over his shoulder. “So great to be here, man!”
He placed Kinsley on the ground, and in her Nikes, she toddled up to the front porch with her stuffed monkey in hand. I leaned down to pick her up and gave her a big hug.
“You’re looking pretty comfortable with a baby in your arms,” said Felicia. She gave me a smile and started to unload the massive amount of baby things they brought.
“Not for me.” I shook my head, looking at my niece, my heart involuntarily clenching. “At least, not for a long time.”
“Got it. Well, if that’s the case, why don’t you put my daughter down and help us unload.” She tilted her head with a smirk.
Once we got them settled in, we opened the beers I brought over and relaxed on the patio chairs in the shade. Kinsley played in the grass with her toys, and Oberon nudged her, trying to get her to throw something out to him. Occasionally, he licked her, and she giggled, pushing him back.
“Oberon! Leave her alone.” I threw one of his toys toward the back of the yard for him.
“This is great,” Ryan said. “How much of the work on this house did you have to do again?”
“This one?” I looked back at the peach cottage with white trim. “This was mostly a clean-up job. Nothing major. Some of the others were a lot more.”
“And you’re full this summer?” Felicia asked.
“Pretty much booked through Labor Day. Feels a little surreal since last year was a lot lighter. It means the money I spent on those marketing ads paid off—luckily.”
“I don’t think luck has anything to do with it,” Ryan said. “This is all you. It’s pretty amazing to see what you’ve been able to do up here in such a short amount of time. I definitely couldn’t have done it. Not in my DNA.”
Ryan had followed my dad’s footsteps and worked in the Ford factory downriver, close to home.
“You could have, but thanks. I appreciate it.”
“So, what’s on the game plan this weekend?” Felicia asked. “I’m looking forward to seeing what this place is all about.”
“Can’t believe this is the first time we’ve visited,” Ryan chimed in.
“Hey, you’re here now,” I said, brushing off his comment. “Figured we could lay low mostly with Kinsley. Go to the beach, barbeque, shop in town. That work for you guys?”
“Sounds perfect. Vacations are a different pace these days with a one-year-old.” She walked over to Kinsley and sat on the grass next to her, playing.
Once she was out of earshot, Ryan leaned over to me.
“So…” He tilted his head toward me. “Tell me about the girl.”
“It’s nothing serious,” I said. “She’s leaving in a month, anyway. We’re just hanging out.”
“Hanging out? Or hanging out?” He wiggled his eyebrows at me.
“I thought it’d be more physical and that would be the end of it, but the more time we spend together, the more I’ve grown to really like her, respect her, really.” I pushed back and put my elbows on my knees, leaning down.
“Could it be something more then?”
“Nah, she’s really involved with the family farm. I just don’t see how it’d work.” I threw a toy for Oberon to fetch. “It’s pretty impressive hearing what she’s done and how she supports them. I mean, she basically gave everything up to help her parents.”
“You’re impressive too, you know that? Especially everything you had to deal with a few years ago. You started over. You’re doing what you’ve always wanted to. Look at this place.” He put his hand out to indicate the yard and house.
“But it’s not for anyone else. It’s for me. It’s different with her. She’s so selfless.” I shook my head.
“You’re not that different. Don’t shortchange yourself. If she’s someone that you want, don’t let something like geography or you putting her on a pedestal stop you.” He paused a moment. “You deserve some happiness.”
Just then, Kinsley squealed as Oberon licked up her entire face, and she slowly rolled onto the ground in a fit of giggles.
Ryan had it all. It just wasn’t my time yet.
The next day, we packed up their fancy stroller, jumped in the minivan and made our way to downtown Port St. Clair.
Felicia pestered us that she wanted to go in as many of the “quaint little shops” as she could.
She planned on getting Christmas gifts for everyone here, and when I reminded her that it was July, not December, she shot me a glare that could have knocked me on my ass.
“What’s with her and all the Christmas ornaments?” I said to Ryan as Felicia was choosing which ones to personalize with names before checking out.
“It’s just her thing.” Ryan shrugged. “It’s not just her. Remember, Mom used to get us a personalized one at Bronner’s every year as a kid? Not sure where all mine went.”
“I haven’t even put up a tree in years.”
“No tree? Come on. You can do better than that.” He pushed the stroller back outside, letting Kinsley sleep through the ornament-buying excitement.
“Maybe I’ll put one up this year. Who knows?”
Tourists crowded the sidewalks with little paper shopping bags from the boutiques lining the street.
We walked a few doors down, and just when we were going to take a seat on the bench, I saw a familiar face.
She had her earbuds in, probably on a quick break from the shop.
Her eyes quickly found mine, and they crinkled as they lit up.
I stayed put for a moment, and Ryan looked at me, following my gaze to her.
He snickered to himself as she made her way toward us.
“Happy Fourth,” Beth said, taking her earbuds out and smiling. She looked at me, then down at Ryan and Kinsley. “Hi, I’m Beth.” She stuck out her hand.
“Morning, I’m Ryan. Johnny’s brother.” Ryan shook her hand. “And this is Kinsley.”
“Good to meet you. Yeah, kind of figured you were the brother. You enjoying Port St. Clair so far?”
“Johnny’s been showing us a good time. It’s changed a lot since we were kids.”
“Guess that makes sense.” Beth looked over to me, and there was an awkward pause in the air.
I watched as Ryan looked from Beth to me, then back to Beth with that smirk.
“We’re actually heading to the beach tomorrow. Would love for you to join us. It’ll be low key with Kinsley, obviously.” He pointed down to his snoozing daughter.
As soon as he said that, he looked at me, and my eyes went large. I enjoyed spending time with Beth, but her hanging out with Ryan and his family? That felt serious, and we were going for casual—even if the more time I spent with her, the more the lines blurred.
Beth looked to me for guidance, raising her shoulders as if to ask me if it were all right. What was I supposed to say? There was a silent conversation happening between us, but I felt like I was missing half the words.
Before I gave her a go-ahead, she responded. “That’d be great. What time are you thinking?”
I stood there, glued to the ground as my brother filled her in on the plans for the next day. She said a quick goodbye, mentioning she had to get back to the shop and scurried off. Once she was out of earshot, I rolled my eyes at Ryan.
“What the hell was that about?”
“Just helping you out.” He chuckled. “I wanted to meet her.”
“You just met her.”
“You know what I mean.” He stood up and started pushing Kinsley, and I followed. “I know it’s been rough these last few years. I can’t begin to understand what you’ve been through, but everything that you said to me shows that you like this woman. If you need a push, so be it.”
“I’m not ready,” I mumbled, my heart leaping into my throat. Even though it had been three years since Anne, it also felt like it was just yesterday.
“All I did was invite her to the beach, nothing more.” He continued walking down the sidewalk with Kinsley. “Come on, let’s get some ice cream. I can smell the waffle cones from here.”