Chapter 15
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Kara couldn’t stop smiling.
She’d never been this content in her life.
Growing up, she hadn’t been invited to sleepovers.
Or parties in general. She hung out at home by herself, trying to stay out of her mom’s way, watching life basically from the outside looking in.
And here she was, laughing and joking with five other women as if she’d known them all her life.
And they accepted her without question. It was amazing.
They were all very different. All had their quirks. But somehow when they were together, none of that mattered. They were friends, and that was that.
Seeing how happy Laryn and Penny were, and how excited they were to get married that weekend, was the reason Kara couldn’t keep the smile off her face. She was so thrilled for her new friends.
Laryn was really starting to show, and she’d spent the first part of their night complaining about how the day was coming when she wouldn’t be able to crawl under and into the helicopters she so lovingly serviced.
“I can’t wait for my girls to be born, but at the same time, it makes me sad that I’ll have to take time off. It’s a weird thing, to want to stay home but also be at work,” she lamented at one point.
“I get it,” Penny told her. “I felt the same way with Bowie. Every time I had to leave her with a neighbor to go to work, it killed me, but I also felt so proud of what I was doing. Educating other women on their bodies and how to take care of themselves and their babies.”
“Bowie is awesome. You’re doing such a great job raising her,” Mandy said.
“She’s not just awesome, she’s kick-ass!” Jen exclaimed. “Brave as hell and has more courage in her little finger than I think I do in my entire body.”
“She’s a firecracker, for sure,” Penny agreed with a big smile.
“I’m gonna need you to raise my girls exactly the same way, m’kay?” Laryn told her.
“Yes, ma’am.”
Kara knew all about how Penny would be the babies’ nanny when and if the team got deployed.
Laryn didn’t want to give up her spot on the mechanical team, because she felt she was the most-qualified person to keep the choppers in the best working condition…
and to keep not only Casper, but the entire team safe.
Which Kara appreciated more than she could say.
As the night progressed, after going over last-minute details about the reception—which wasn’t a huge deal, since it was so low-key—talk turned to other topics. And inevitably, Kara found herself in the spotlight.
“So…no word from the detective on fuckface?” Laryn asked.
Kara almost spit out the sip of the wine she’d just taken. Not at the swearword, but at how casual Laryn sounded when she said it. As if that truly was his name. “No. But considering how long it’s been, I’m more and more hopeful that he’s really gone.”
“You still need to be careful,” Zita warned.
“Oh, I am,” Kara said quickly. “I don’t go anywhere by myself. I spend most days in Arrow’s house with the security system on and a baseball bat nearby. Because I know if he finds me, he could break a window and get to me even with the system armed.”
“You seem pretty calm about it all,” Mandy observed.
“I’m not. Not really. But I also don’t want to spend the rest of my life being scared.
It’s bad enough that I have panic attacks at random times and my anxiety will go through the roof if I let it.
I hate that he has even that amount of power over me.
At least I can sleep now without a light on.
” She couldn’t help smiling at that last bit.
“Let me guess…because of Chaos?”
Her smile grew. “Yeah. Being in his arms at night…it’s the best kind of therapy.”
“I bet,” Laryn said. “But seriously, cut yourself some slack. I still sometimes have nightmares of my time in captivity. It’s okay to not be all right all the time.”
“I know. Arrow says the same thing.”
“I still feel guilty that I left you that first night,” Jen said quietly.
Kara shook her head. “Don’t. It would’ve happened eventually. And things have worked out. I mean, you have Asher now, and I’ve got Arrow.”
“Yeah, please tell us we’re going to meet the mysterious Asher at some point! Are you bringing him to the reception?” Laryn asked.
“That’s the plan,” Jen said with a huge smile.
“Good. Because I’m getting a complex, thinking he doesn’t want to meet us.”
“That’s not true,” Jen said quickly. “He’s just really busy. If it makes you feel any better, it’s hard for us to find time to get together too. Between of his job and mine, we don’t have a ton of free time.”
“But he’s good to you?” Mandy asked, looking worried.
“Yeah. He’s great. Charming, pulls my seat out at restaurants, has even brought Fred dog bones, trying to win him over.”
“Fred doesn’t like him?” Laryn asked sharply.
“He’s still getting used to him,” Jen replied, a little defensively.
Kara kept what she was thinking off her face…but inside, she was a little worried. Jen’s black lab liked everyone. He was happy and outgoing and treated most people like long-lost friends. What was it about Asher that the dog was picking up on?
She didn’t like that, not at all.
“I’ve seen him,” Penny blurted. “Asher, not Fred, that is. I heard you guys coming down the hall one night and looked through the peephole in my door. He’s handsome.”
Jen blushed. “Yeah. He’s a little older than me, but distinguished-looking.”
“How is he in bed?” Zita asked with a grin.
The pink in Jen’s cheeks deepened. “I don’t know. We haven’t gotten that far in our relationship. As I said, we’re both really busy, and he doesn’t want to rush into anything, because he says he can see us having a long future together.”
“Seriously?” Mandy asked.
“Uh-huh.”
“And how do you feel about that?” Penny asked. “I mean, I’m all about a man not being a horndog and trying to get you into bed after one date, but it’s been about a month now, right?”
Jen shrugged. “Honestly? It surprised me. And I’m more than ready. But if he’s not, I’m not going to rush him.”
Kara listened to the conversation without participating. Now, full-on warning bells were going off in her head.
She couldn’t help but compare Jen’s new guy to Nolan.
Aside from attempting to kiss her good night a few times, he’d also claimed he didn’t want to rush sex between them. At least, when it was obvious Kara wasn’t ready. Until she’d tried to break up with him—and then he’d taken by force what she hadn’t been willing to give.
But she didn’t want to speak up and ruin Jen’s obvious happiness. Not when Kara couldn’t be sure if it was her past experiences making every man out to be like Nolan. Also, she hadn’t trusted Arrow in the beginning, and she’d turned out to be wrong about him, as well.
“What about Edge?” Laryn’s words sat out there like an elephant in the room. She’d asked what no one else had the nerve to bring up. “Because I’ve known the man a long time. Years. And he’s definitely into you.”
Jen looked down into her wineglass. “Roman is out of my league.”
“What?”
“Are you kidding me?”
“What are you talking about?”
Kara was just as floored as the other women at Jen’s disparagement of herself.
“Look at me,” she said, gesturing to herself.
“I’m weird-looking. If I didn’t have all these cool wigs, people would stare and call me a freak.
Trust me, I know from experience. And news flash, I don’t sleep in my wigs.
I take them off at night. My hair is mostly nonexistent but I do have some, and when I let it grow, it’s patchy and thin.
I usually keep it shaved to make the wigs fit better.
I have no eyebrows. Hell, I have no pubic hair.
And none of you have any idea how much this stuff turns guys off! ”
Kara blinked at the outburst. She’d had no clue Jen had such low self-esteem.
The image she projected to the world was outgoing and fun and self-assured.
But she should’ve known better, because didn’t she herself do the same thing?
Didn’t most women? They hid their insecurities beneath a veneer of confidence.
Penny put her wineglass down, walked over to where Jen was sitting, and knelt in front of her.
She put her hands on her knees and leaned in close.
“Listen to me, Jennifer Williams. You are beautiful. And any man would be damn lucky to call you his girlfriend. The other night, when I was overwhelmed and PMSing and Bowie was driving me crazy, you came over without question, giving me half an hour to take a walk and breathe. You’re the first to volunteer to dog-sit Rain and Waffles.
You’re unselfish and caring, and stubborn to boot.
Don’t think we haven’t heard the stories about how often you’ve insisted on continuing a search after everyone else has given up—and most of the time, you and Fred ending up finding who you’re looking for.
You aren’t allowed to think that you’re not beautiful. You hear me?”
Jen just stared at Penny.
“And who cares about not having hair?” Mandy added. “I’m thinking many a guy would love the hairless thing when they’re going down on you.”
Everyone chuckled at that.
“I love your wigs. If I could get away with wearing them, I would,” Zita added.
“And if a guy doesn’t love you for who you are inside, then they aren’t worth your time,” Kara said softly.
“Because looks change. We get old. Wrinkly. Saggy in places we never thought we’d sag.
As do they. Women aren’t the only ones who change.
And I’m new to the group, but I’ve also seen how Edge looks at you when he’s around.
He wants you, Jen, you just have to give him a chance. ”
Jen shook her head sadly. “I doubt that. I’m just…me. And he’s a hero. Besides, I’m quite a bit younger than Edge.”
“So?” Mandy said a little forcefully. “Nash is almost a decade older than I am, does that mean we shouldn’t be together?”
“No, of course not.”
“So why is it okay for me, but not you?”
Jen sighed. “You know this conversation is moot, right? I’m dating Asher now.”
Everyone was silent for a beat.