Chapter 10 #2
“Oh, Pace. Good, you’re here finally.” It was Ruth.
She sashayed up to me in her long skirt, and the rings covering all her fingers clicked as she brought her hands together.
“I need your help after all. It’s those damn city delivery drivers.
They left a bunch of boxes behind the B and B.
Mind taking a minute to help me bring them in? ”
“Of course, Ruth.” I grinned at her as my eyes continued to search for Sophie.
Maybe she just went to get a hot chocolate. I’d help out Ruth really quickly, and then I’d go find her so we could make a plan.
But after Ruth, Anne Marie Elkins, the retired librarian, needed me to help with her booth, and then Lu Billings and Noah Cooper asked if I knew whether Levi was here, Lu had a question about adding her art to the gallery.
One thing after another popped up. Where were all these people today when I was desperate for a distraction?
All of a sudden, I was the town’s most wanted man.
It was over an hour before I was able to break away and go back to searching for Sophie. I made a few inquiries, but nobody seemed to know who I was talking about.
“Who’s Sophie?” Claire asked when I found her and Levi canoodling around a smaller fire on the outskirts of the park. I told Levi that Lu was looking for him.
“She’s El Kincaid’s granddaughter. She works at the hobby shop,” I said, and the second it came out of my mouth, I knew I made a mistake.
“Is it her list?” Claire leaned in, voice hushed but straining with barely contained excitement.
“Yes.” I checked around to make sure nobody was listening, but the ruckus of the band and bonfire was too loud. “But don’t say anything. It was a whole thing to even get her to talk about it.”
For the first time since finding Sophie’s list, I started to doubt that I was the right person for this. After all, when have I ever been enough for anyone?
“Poor thing,” Claire said. “Is she okay?”
“Not dying. Just social anxiety,” I said, and regretted how casual it sounded.
“Just that,” Levi said dryly.
Maybe I’d been too relaxed about it. I should know better.
Being a firefighter teaches you real quick that the worst damage isn’t always the kind you can see.
I had acted like I would in any emergency, without thought.
But that wasn’t what was best in this scenario.
Sophie was fighting battles most people wouldn’t even notice.
“Oh,” Claire said again, this time dragging out the word. She and Levi exchanged a look.
“But she came out here tonight?” Levi asked, brows furrowed in confusion.
“Not exactly.” I tugged off my baseball cap and toyed with the rim. “We were in the middle of talking. And then I got a text that there was an emergency—” Both of their eyebrows shot up. “There was no emergency. Just drunken stupidity.”
“Typical,” Levi said.
“But I brought her here, and then she must have gotten away, and now I can’t find her.” I pulled my hat onto my head, hiding my face. “And as I’m speaking, it’s becoming more and more clear what a tremendous asshole I’ve been.” The growing frowns on their faces didn’t help.
“People have no qualms saying whatever they want to whomever they want in the name of ‘just being honest,’” Claire said.
“It’s a lot,” Levi added.
“Shit,” I said. “How am I supposed to find her now?” How was I ever supposed to get her to trust me?
“It’ll be okay. I’m sure she’ll understand that your heart was in the right place,” Claire reassured me.
“Do you want us to help look for her?” Levi asked.
“No. I don’t want to draw any more attention to her. Or let her know that anybody else knows about the list. She’s really—”
“Don’t worry,” Claire said, and I knew these two wouldn’t tell anybody else Sophie’s business.
“Thanks. Just text me if you see her.”
“What does she look like?” Claire asked.
I glanced to Levi, hoping he’d explain so I could keep looking. He shrugged. “Sorry, I’m not actually sure myself.”
“She’s beautiful. Really, just breathtaking in an unexpected way. She has this energy, like she’s quiet but you can tell she has all this knowledge swirling around her dark eyes.”
Levi cleared his throat and looked down, trying to hide a smile. Claire didn’t bother hiding hers. She beamed at me. “I just meant, what color is her hair? How tall is she?”
I cleared my throat and felt heat burning my face hotter than the bonfire ever did. “She’s a few inches shorter than me.” I held my hand to where my shoulder stopped. “Dark brown hair. Longish.”
“Soft and shiny like a flowing river?” Levi teased.
I had been trying to give a description of her that would set her apart. “Screw you. Bye.”
“We can’t wait to meet her,” Claire called.
“Not likely,” I said lightly.
I turned and left, their stifled laughs following me.
I searched the perimeter of the town square, weaving in and out of the crowd, checking every laughing family or canoodling couple I passed.
I received more than one confused look as I ducked my head to see someone’s face, intruding way too far on personal-space bubbles.
With every person who wasn’t Sophie, dread gathered like a stone in my gut.
I had no idea what I’d been thinking. I hadn’t been thinking. At least, not about her needs, not really. I’d been thinking about how good it would feel for me to help her.
I obsessed over that list, had it memorized. Something like this bonfire, a big social gathering, would be near the bottom, a seemingly impossible task to her. And I’d just thrown her in the deep end. How did I ever think that I would be good at this?
I was just about to head back to Hooks and Grannies when I saw a small, huddled shape on the bottom of the stairs leading to a two-story shopping center across the road, less than ten yards away from where I had been standing with the rest of the firefighters.
As I approached, soft sniffles reached my ears. Sophie had her knees up to her chest, arms wrapped tight around them. It was enough to break my fucking heart.
I was punched in the chest with guilt. I had bulldozed her into coming tonight, thinking I knew what was best. I used to do the same thing with Levi, and it had never been the right thing.
Every sniffle from Sophie added to my overwhelming feeling of wrongness. Why had I thought I could help her? I never knew the right thing to do. My hands shook as I lowered to kneel on the ground in front of her.
“Sophie.” I swiped my hat off and balled it in my twisting hands. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to abandon you.”
“You’re fine. This is so dumb.” She gestured to her crying face.
I wanted to scream for fucking up so bad. I had to make this right. I had to fix this. Tugging on my hat, I pulled her hands into mine. Even if she had technically walked away first, I was the one who failed her in my first task to help.
“Fuck. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry, Sophie.
I shouldn’t have dragged you here. I wasn’t thinking.
I got that text, and I didn’t want to leave your side.
I have this feeling with you, like as soon as I turn around, you’re going to pop out of existence, and it will be years before I see you again. But I am sorry. This was too much.”
I couldn’t believe I said all that. She watched me with that serious, observant gaze.
“I’m still here,” she said. “And I’m okay. Really.”
“You should feel proud for coming,” I said.