Chapter 11 #2
“Yeah. I think we might have knocked an item off the list already. I can’t be sure since I don’t have a copy, but . . .” He lifted his chin in a gesture to see the list, which he rightly assumed I had with me.
I swallowed and pulled the list out of my pocket. My eyebrows lifted. “Really?”
He stepped close enough for the heat of his body to warm my entire side.
He smelled like he’d just showered, clean soap and shaving cream.
His breath had a bit of spearmint as he spoke.
He pointed to one of the items and began to read it out loud.
“Attend one local fall event . . .” His voice trailed off.
“You talked to two people, right?” His eyes were wide and hopeful as he stepped back in front of me.
“No. I don’t think so,” I said. He looked so crestfallen, I blurted out, “Wait. Counting you?”
“Sure,” he said, his puppy eyes hopeful.
“Still no.” I flushed, unable to lie.
How many days have I gone consecutively without talking to another person besides Grandma?
Had things really gotten this bad? I wasn’t like this in college.
I used to be able to at least leave the house and function.
I also drank a lot more alcohol, and my lows were a lot lower.
Somehow, in the last few years, the fears in my mind grew strong enough to cement my feet to the ground, but I was also steadier. And that had equated to safety.
“No worries.” He shrugged. Because that was how easy he quite literally shrugged things off.
“It was just a thought anyway. Plenty of time. Actually, I think we should establish a timeline. I think you should try to knock off everything by Christmas. That way, you can start the new year fresh without the chains of this list.”
“Okay. That makes sense,” I agreed, but dread hunched my shoulders.
“If we can’t complete the list by the charity Winter Ball, then I will streak naked through town,” he said lightly.
“What?” A laugh burst from me. “That doesn’t even make sense. If I can’t complete the list, why should you have to pay? I think that you just want to get naked and run through town.”
“Hmm. That does sound like me.” His smile grew.
Sneaky man trying and succeeding to laugh me out of my discomfort. I was on to him.
“I mean, let’s be honest, you do sort of do that every morning,” I said slyly, meeting his gaze just for a flash.
He grinned widely and didn’t deny it. “Brand ambassador for Cozy Creek.”
“I thought I saw those little shorts on the town brochure.”
“You’re like Claire.” He shook his head. “Focus. We need to make not finishing the list a real problem. What’s your biggest fear?” he asked.
“That literally changes every five minutes.”
He waited, and I could see that he wasn’t about to let me awkward girl my way out of the question.
“Well, then we are at serious risk for not making our first appointment because I may not be good at leaving the house, but I excel at imagining worst-case scenarios.” He smiled, but still didn’t let me squirm away from the question.
I blew out a long breath between my lips.
“If I had to pick one at this moment.” I tapped my bottom lip.
“Probably being wrongfully accused of a crime.” His mouth opened, but I wasn’t finished.
“Then, being abandoned by my grandmother, who is convinced I am guilty. Then the whole town would remember that I exist only to show up with pitchforks and Molotov cocktails to throw at me until I’m arrested and thrown into jail because they will all work together to lie to the police to set me up for a crime I didn’t commit.
Then I would end up in jail forever,” I said, breathless.
He blinked. For several seconds, he just stared at me, mouth slightly parted.
“That or quite possibly the hottest guy in town finding my list of deepest insecurities.” I stared at his neck, my pulse picking up. “Oh, right, that already happened.”
“Hottest guy in town?” Instead of letting me brush that little slip off, he grinned, just a little, and leaned closer.
Heat burned my cheeks, but this time, I didn’t want to run.
Normally, a tease like that would have frozen me solid, heart hammering, hands gripping my bag like it could fly me away, but talking to him now, this banter or whatever .
. . it felt easier. Safer. Pace would never actually be interested in me anyway, and for the first time in forever, that thought made me relax.
I rolled my eyes, trying to act unimpressed, but my stomach did a happy little flip.
“I mean, you asked,” I mumbled, a tiny smile tugging at my lips.
“Okay. Fair.” He spread his hands out. “I was thinking like, closer to the running-through-town-naked thing.”
“You should understand that to me, right now, that’s all about the same. Going to jail forever. Making small talk. Being chased by a cheetah. My body and mind think that they are equal, that’s sort of the point of all this,” I said, focusing on that muscle connecting his neck and shoulder.
“I’m sorry. That sounds exhausting.” I met his gaze just long enough to see his sincerity.
“Even more reason to establish a definitive end date. What will happen if it’s the end of December and you didn’t make it to the ball?
It has to be worse than the fears that lock you up inside that head of yours. ”
“I guess . . .” I chewed on my lip in thought, knowing the other worst fear. “Literally anybody else finding the list. Seriously. It’s bad enough you know.”
“Okay. Good. If you can’t complete these tasks by the Winter Ball, then this list will be posted online, and you’ll have to run naked through town.” He added the last bit casually.
“You are really caught up on that. No being naked. But the thought of the list being circulated makes me want to hurl, so I think that must be a good threat.”
Pace reached out a hand, and I reluctantly turned the list over. This made it all feel so much more real.
He folded it away into a pocket and patted it gently. “I’ll keep it safe.” I believed him.
It was a good idea, great even, and also it made me want to throw up.
I couldn’t think of any reason not to put a time limit on this.
If I couldn’t do these things by the Winter Ball, then I was well and truly hopeless.
I’m sure Dr. Spinner would agree that a SMART goal (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound) was always best.
“Okay,” I said. I was already exhausted by this day.
He dusted his hands, officially putting all that to bed, and looked around with a giant cheesy grin.
“Where should we start today?” He had that same pent-up energy of his latest bestie labradoodle. I suspected that if I had a spare ball to throw, he’d chase after it without thinking. Actually, I might have a spare ball in Grandma’s giant bag.
My palms prickled as he looked at me expectantly. A flush was spreading up my neck. Just speak.
“I-I thought maybe a pedicure? Because it’s pretty warm?” And why was I saying everything in a question? I was better than this. “But maybe—”
“That’s a great idea!” he said excitedly (proverbial tail wagging).