Chapter 18 #2
A laugh burst out of me, easing some of the tension. I watched her as she watched me, causing us both to smile wider and wider.
Her anxious energy had her shaking her leg and tugging at her lip with her teeth. This wasn’t the time to get into my own shit. I was here to help her.
“Let’s just get back on track, okay?” I asked.
Her dark brows pinched together like she held back saying something else. “Okay.”
“Ready to go in there?”
She nodded fervently. “Nope.”
“Okay. So. Hey, look at me.” She sniffed and did as I said.
Her wide brown eyes, unblinking like the baby rabbits’.
“When you walk in, there are a bunch of desks set up to the left. Those are for loans and stuff, you don’t need to worry about those.
” As I spoke, tension melted slowly from her eyebrows, then her mouth, then her shoulders.
“You’re going to go straight ahead to where there are about five teller stands.
There might be a short line of people, but that’s okay.
The signs will tell you exactly where you need to go.
To your right, there is a little table with a bunch of different forms. You’re going to need to grab the withdrawal slip, right?
Just taking out money. I think it’s the blue one. ”
She bit her lip, eyes filling. I worried I’d fucked up big time.
“What? Is this . . . is this not helpful?” I asked. “When I was reading about anxiety, it suggested looking at places ahead of time to get to know the lay of the land. But if this is too much—”
“It’s not too much.” She shook her head as her face melted into a smile and her eyes gleamed with moisture. “It’s really nice.”
A knot in my chest relaxed, and I let out a breath.
“It’s perfect. It’s helping.” She nodded again, and my heart beat hard against my chest.
This was what I wanted. I wanted to be the man who knew what she needed, who didn’t say or do the wrong thing, didn’t send her running. I could be this person for her. I felt like I was glowing with accomplishment, that it would lift me up off the ground and into the air.
“Oh. Good,” I said haltingly. My throat grew tight at the praise, at the warmth that spread through me with her words.
Her eyes looked brighter, and her leg stopped shaking. I had done that.
I went on to explain a few more things, and she listened intently, nodding and taking it all in.
Our hands were still clasped on the bench seat between us, and I didn’t think she even noticed. She tugged my hand and pressed it to her chest, right above the collar of her shirt. My fingers tingled at the touch of her hot skin.
“Feel this. It’s absurd.” Her pulse kicked wildly against the palm of my hand.
It was enough to keep me focused on her and not on the wandering thoughts of just how close the tip of my thumb was to her full breasts.
“My body is acting like I have to escape a serial killer,” she laughed, but not sincerely.
“Nope. Just Pam.” I cleared my throat and put some distance between us, taking back my hand.
I was overcome with that same desire to lean into her.
To scoop her up and hold her and press my lips all over her skin, like I had wanted to last week at her apartment.
We’d been standing so close, her whole home smelling comforting and sweet, like her.
The heat between us made me ache to reach out and brush her bottom lip, just to know how it felt.
But I wasn’t about to be the guy who preys on emotionally fragile women.
Staring straight ahead, I gripped the steering wheel and kept my tone light. “Pam is great. She was in class with my older brother. She’ll be working, and she’s super friendly, if not a little long-winded. Just ask about her two sons, and you won’t even need to worry about making conversation.”
“Somehow I doubt that I’ll have the same effect on the women of this town, but I appreciate the tip.” She squared her shoulders and took a bracing breath. “Thank you for not teasing me about this. I know it’s stupid—”
“It’s not stupid. You have to stop saying that.”
“No. I know. You’re right.” Sophie shook her head once, as if shaking out the thought. Then she turned and hit me full force with her attention again, and my mouth closed.
“You know, you’re good at this,” she said.
“What?”
“Being gentle with me about this. Talking me through this. I shouldn’t have said this comes naturally. Because it isn’t true. This is a skill you have that so many don’t. You should be proud of yourself.”
She was right. This compliment meant far more than anything about my looks ever did. I didn’t know what to say for once.
“Go get ’em. You can do this.” I tilted my chin down and held her gaze. “You are a badass bitch who can get cash like nobody else.” I flinched back as the last swear left my mouth. “Fuck. I’m sorry. That was wildly inappropriate.”
Sophie guffawed a surprised laugh, and I relaxed. If she cared about my swearing, she didn’t say anything. Instead, she took a deep breath and spread her fingers out wide.
“Yes. I can do this. I’m a badass bitch.” Her hands shook violently as she reached for the door handle.
I was surprised by the power of my need to tell her to stop, to go in there myself and do it all for her.
But there was no point if she wasn’t doing it herself.